Posted on 02/14/2011 10:20:47 AM PST by Libloather
Should Black People Walk Away from Valentine's Day Spending?
By Boyce Watkins, PhD on Feb 14th 2011 10:56AM
Most men know how expensive Valentine's Day can get. Someone decided that spending money is somehow a translation to showing love, which is an interesting, misguided relationship philosophy. Valentine's Day is one of the most over-hyped holidays known to man, with advertising starting almost right after Christmas. Any man in a serious relationship is well-aware of the pending doom of his social life if he doesn't flex his wallet at least a little bit on that special day.
According to the National Federation's 2010 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, over $14 billion is spent on Valentine's Day-related purchases. This is roughly $103 for every single man, woman and child in America. Yes, the hype has real economic consequences.
What's even crazier is that 2010 doesn't even set a record. In 2008, $17 billion was spent on the holiday. (Perhaps all those 'Oprah Winfrey' shows about saving money kicked in and people started to show their love in ways that went beyond spending money.) These numbers make me wonder why I have to prove my love for others by busting my bank account on a holiday created by someone else.
The challenge of Valentine's Day can be especially daunting for African American men, who struggle with unemployment rates approaching 20 percent. Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation. The struggle to find economic resources makes it difficult for men to become providers, and adds to the stress of black families that are already struggling to stay together. It also makes it difficult for single men to date or show affection to the woman in whom they may be interested, primarily because economic stability is highly correlated with the perception of an individual's manhood. Valentine's Day can only make the embarrassment that much worse for men who are trying to survive in an economy where they have the worst unemployment and educational levels in the nation.
My belief? African Americans may want to consider letting go of Valentine's Day, at least the over-commercialized part of it. For women, I suggest that you make a deal with your man: tell him that you don't want him to spend very much money on you -- but what he doesn't spend in money, he must overcompensate for with time and affection. Your man will appreciate you letting him off the hook and he will hopefully return the favor by giving you a level of loyalty he wouldn't be willing to give to anyone else. Being a true partner in love means helping your partner become stronger, not becoming yet another drain on their resources. By getting away from models of romantic interaction that become nothing more than economic exchanges, millions of members of the black community can find everlasting love.
What a stupid question. More racist nonsense.
“Someone decided that spending money is somehow a translation to showing love, which is an interesting, misguided relationship philosophy.”
Wrong. Women selecting mates who can care for them and their offspring’s material needs is a deeply rooted human behavior and not recently made up and decided upon by ‘someone’. Many aspects of human physiology, from the specifics of child-bearing to neurochemistry make it thus.
I agree with your wife, and my husband agrees with you. We celebrated our anniversary just ten days ago, and anyway, as a general policy we don’t care for invented occasions that demand we spend money.
We went out on Saturday night, and skipped all the expensive meals.
We’ll get each other cards, and I might get some flowers.
Simple is nice.
The challenge of Valentine’s Day can be especially daunting for African American men, who struggle with unemployment rates approaching 20 percent. Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation. -——————
Yeah and whites don’t get Reparations, Pigford and Pigford II, but they pay for it.
Here it started just before Christmas and Easter was tucked along side it as well.
However, I have a few friends who learned that the hard way. Sad to say but true.
You can buy jewelry, flowers, and you can have a nice dinner without spending a fortune.... because we don't measure the value by the size of the expenditure.
i think that's sweet... i have all my Valentine's Day cards from my husband... V-day is my third favorite holiday--after Halloween and Thanksgiving... not because of expensive gifts... because of nostalgia... mu birthday is a few days before Feb. 14th, so i would often receive valentine-sy gifts on my birthday... red and pink wrapping... i like all the pink and red at this time of the year... and i always had a heart-shaped cake... today, after going to the gym and working out together, my husband and i went out to breakfast... later, after dinner, we will all (with our two boys) share a heart-shaped chocolate cake that i baked... he loves chocolate... i don't bake often...
That's a pretty good plan for EVERYBODY.
Drugs?
I’m past giving a damn what black people do...
A few years ago, Valentine’s Day fell on a Saturday night, and my husband and I went out on it.
Our dinner was expensive, and it took forever. I think it was a 3 hour dinner.
We had fun because we rarely go out, but I told my husband that I didn’t want to do something like that again.
We can’t go out when Valentine’s is on a weekday because we have kid duties.
The writer is saying black women aren’t worth it.
I wonder...how many people ever ask themselves why a group that has been voting for one party for about 40 years has a 20% unemployment rate and the worst education profile of any ethnicity?
I’m betting black unemployment wasn’t 20% at the beginning of the Great Society.
I tend to get into the crass commercial spirit of both Valentine’s Day and Halloween. It is Father’s Day and Mother’s Day when I go bare bones.
This year I didn’t buy any gold jewelry but got my wife, mother-in-law, and children big silly heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, top-quality stuffed bear, and chocolate brands including Godiva, Whitman’s, Russell-Stover, Gheradeli, Toblerone, and M&Ms. Included some spendable gifts too. I’m cheap with cards because I usually make my own.
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