NASA Shuttle Outreach to Al-Qaeda Program Ends Unexpectedly With Destruction of Space Station

Useful Info Nation Blog ^ | 7/29/2010 | Thomas Bryan

[toma29]

From the Useful Info Nation Humor Page:

Obama / NASA Shuttle Outreach to Al-Qaeda Program Ends Unexpectedly With Destruction of International Space Station

On Monday, the NASA Shuttle Outreach to Al-Qaeda Program suffered a major setback when the seven member crew allegedly fired all rockets and flew directly into the International Space Station. Luckily, no one was aboard the ISS at the time, but the ensuing trail of debris from the crash has caused irreparable damage to communication and military satellites orbiting the Earth.

Miraculously, Google saw the warnings from several Al-Qaeda websites two days before the crash and was able to redirect its Google Earth satellites out of the debris field. There's no word yet on why Google did not warn the US government because no media outlet has yet to ask.

"We just thought that if they felt good about science and we allowed them to train to fly the Space Shuttle, they might forget about their childhood poverty enough not to fly it into the one symbol of cooperation between space-capable countries," noted Charles Bolden, Obama-appointed NASA administrator. "I guess we should have started a little slower. Maybe allow them to help out in the rocket design department. Yes, I think that's where we'll go next. When I saw the footage of the crash debris colliding with hundreds of communications satellites rendering them useless, I felt really bad for Muslims everywhere."

[SpinnerWebb]

Hopi Prophecy: (pay attention to the 9th sign)

Can you name the others?

The Fourth World shall end soon, and the Fifth World will begin. This the elders everywhere know. The Signs over many years have been fulfilled, and so few are left.

"This is the First Sign: We are told of the coming of the white-skinned men, like Pahana, but not living like Pahana men who took the land that was not theirs. And men who struck their enemies with thunder.

"This is the Second Sign: Our lands will see the coming of spinning wheels filled with voices. In his youth, my father saw this prophecy come true with his eyes -- the white men bringing their families in wagons across the prairies."

"This is the Third Sign: A strange beast like a buffalo but with great long horns, will overrun the land in large numbers. These White Feather saw with his eyes -- the coming of the white men's cattle."

"This is the Fourth Sign: The land will be crossed by snakes of iron."

"This is the Fifth Sign: The land shall be criss-crossed by a giant spider's web."

"This is the Sixth sign: The land shall be criss-crossed with rivers of stone that make pictures in the sun."

"This is the Seventh Sign: You will hear of the sea turning black, and many living things dying because of it."

"This is the Eight Sign: You will see many youth, who wear their hair long like my people, come and join the tribal nations, to learn their ways and wisdom.

"And this is the Ninth and Last Sign: You will hear of a dwelling-place in the heavens, above the earth, that shall fall with a great crash. It will appear as a blue star. Very soon after this, the ceremonies of my people will cease.

"These are the Signs that great destruction is coming. The world shall rock to and fro. The white man will battle against other people in other lands -- with those who possessed the first light of wisdom. There will be many columns of smoke and fire such as White Feather has seen the white man make in the deserts not far from here. Only those which come will cause disease and a great dying. Many of my people, understanding the prophecies, shall be safe. Those who stay and live in the places of my people also shall be safe. Then there will be much to rebuild. And soon -- very soon afterward -- Pahana will return. He shall bring with him the dawn of the Fifth World. He shall plant the seeds of his wisdom in their hearts. Even now the seeds are being planted. These shall smooth the way to the Emergence into the Fifth World.

[null and void]

“unexpectedly” There’s that word again.

[Jack Hammer]

Ironically, the utter destruction of the space station was NOT due to terrorists; reportedly, the individuals who destroyed the ISS were simply “youths” disaffected with their “social situation.” Neither ethnic details nor information of any sort concerning country of origin have been forthcoming in the press or from the Obama administration.

[null and void]

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

[cruise_missile]

Houston we have a problem.

The space program has been canceled.
And the ISS is no more.

[LRS]

Well, the station has been infested with Jew cooties...

[null and void]

...and women have been on board.

[Ladysmith]

Hey!

[LRS]

True, true!

[agere_contra]

Effective satire! Thanks for posting!

[toma29]

Thanks, agere_contra.

[reagan_fanatic]

LOL

[Captain Beyond]

Space and Catastrophism humor ping to you guys.

[Publius6961]

The Hopi had writing?
Who knew?

Indian history, purported to have been direct depiction of oral indian legend, have been found universally to be unreliable fantasy, either by the speakers or by the transcriber.

[chessplayer]

“We are told of the coming of the white-skinned men”

“the white men bringing,,,”

“the coming of the white men’s cattle.”

Whitey,,,the new Jew.

[SunkenCiv]

:’)

OTOH, this is *exactly* what would happen.