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Pre-taxes joke
unk | 14 April 2010 | unk

Posted on 04/14/2010 6:10:42 AM PDT by tgusa

So ...

This guy boards an airplane and is very surprised when another guy and his dog board and sit next to him. The plane takes off.

First guy now asks the guy with the dog, "That's pretty cool. How did you get that dog on board?"

Second guy: "Oh, he's a trained drug dog. Watch this." and he sends the dog down the aisle.

The dog stops at seat 19A, then returns and puts his paw up on guy 2's seat.

First guy: "What does that mean?"

Second guy: "Oh, that lady in 19A has marijuana."

15 minutes later, the dog goes down the aisle again, stops at 35A, then returns and puts both paws up on guy 2's seat.

Second guy: "The guy in 35A is carrying cocaine."

First guy: "I'll be damned, that dog is SMART!"

15 minutes later the dog takes off again, stops at 38A, then returns and takes a HUGE crap on his seat.

Second guy: "Oh hell, there's a bomb on board!!" ****************************


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: chat; joke; vanity
Something to lighten the mood as we wrestle with our taxes.
1 posted on 04/14/2010 6:10:42 AM PDT by tgusa
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To: tgusa

Sorry, I forgot the ‘vanity’ tag - I usually don’t post vanities.


2 posted on 04/14/2010 6:12:20 AM PDT by tgusa (Investment plan: blued steel, brass, lead, copper)
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To: tgusa
Drudge has a real funny on his front page.

Coincidence?

47% will pay no federal income taxes...

45% say amount of tax they pay 'about right'...

LOL! More proof that a lot of idiots reside in this country.

3 posted on 04/14/2010 6:17:51 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Dude! Where's my Constitution!)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

You just can’t make this stuff up - the jokes write themselves.


4 posted on 04/14/2010 6:21:18 AM PDT by tgusa (Investment plan: blued steel, brass, lead, copper)
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To: tgusa

Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on eBay?

I put in a bid for a “Mickey Mouse Outfit” for my niece and now it seems I’m only two hours away from owning Obama and his entire cabinet.


5 posted on 04/14/2010 6:25:49 AM PDT by RdhseRat
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To: tgusa

uh... what does that joke have to do with taxes?


6 posted on 04/14/2010 6:27:35 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a humanist and a Satanist is that the latter knows who he's working for.)
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To: RdhseRat

Joke’s on you....


7 posted on 04/14/2010 6:31:35 AM PDT by tgusa (Investment plan: blued steel, brass, lead, copper)
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To: MrB

Because you can’t cry when you’re laughing?


8 posted on 04/14/2010 6:32:28 AM PDT by tgusa (Investment plan: blued steel, brass, lead, copper)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

That means there are 2% who are too poor to pay taxes, but wish they could.

Demorcrats.


9 posted on 04/14/2010 6:33:53 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (PALIN/MCCAIN IN 2012 - barf alert? sarc tag? -- can't decide)
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To: Responsibility2nd

“2% who are too poor to pay taxes, but wish they could.”

I interpreted it as meaning that 2% pay no taxes yet STILL manage to feel outraged at how “unfairly” American society treats them.

It would do well to remember that while 47% don’t pay income taxes, virtually all wage-earners have to kick into SS and Medicare, reducing their compensation 15.3% below what it otherwise would be.

So strictly speaking, it would be completely rational to feel like your taxes are too high even though your income taxes are zero. My guess is that most minimum wage workers don’t appreciate seeing 15.3% siphoned off to cover SS payments and medical care for elderly households—especially given that poverty rates among the elderly now are LOWER than they are in the general population.


10 posted on 04/14/2010 7:19:42 AM PDT by DrC
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To: tgusa

grumble grumble grumble...

I just finished paying mine. Figured I would use the Discover card to pay my taxes. Might as well get the points for it. Then I found out that the IRS is charging me $50 freaking bucks to pay with my Discover card!

Bunch of jokers!

But the jokes on them I will get more than that back from the Discover card... (At least thats what I tell myself to keep from crying). I am going to invest all of my Discover card reward points in AMMO!!!


11 posted on 04/14/2010 7:25:20 AM PDT by Syntyr (Mace, Kirk, Thomson, Griffin, Scusa, Martin, Gallegos, Hart - Remember the fallen of Kamdesh)
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To: RdhseRat

12 posted on 04/14/2010 8:11:32 AM PDT by Sarajevo (You're jealous because the voices only talk to me.)
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To: Syntyr

Ammo ....mmmmm

At least supplies are starting to loosen up. I just scored 6 boxes of 9mm luger 147gr FMJ from Midway. HPs are still sorta hard to come by, though. My favorite, Winchester SilverTip, has been on backorder forever.


13 posted on 04/14/2010 8:37:31 AM PDT by tgusa (Investment plan: blued steel, brass, lead, copper)
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To: tgusa

Yes finally...

Local Wally World has finally gotten 9mm and .40 S&W in. I have managed to stock up to a thousand rounds of each of those. But they are still lagging on .45 which is my main caliber of choice. I have managed to stockpile about 4000 rounds of that. I would like a little more to be on the safe side...


14 posted on 04/14/2010 8:41:25 AM PDT by Syntyr (Mace, Kirk, Thomson, Griffin, Scusa, Martin, Gallegos, Hart - Remember the fallen of Kamdesh)
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To: Syntyr

How do you like your .40? I’ve been really lusting after an H&K .40, which is current issue for my local LEOs. My Beretta 92SF is just fine - tritium sights and all, for older and dimmer eyes - but that .40 looks juicy. OBTW I learned to shoot with a 1911 gummint .45 courtesy of the military - loved it, too.


15 posted on 04/14/2010 8:48:42 AM PDT by tgusa (Investment plan: blued steel, brass, lead, copper)
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To: Syntyr

Just think, you get points from the Discover card off that $50 convenience fee, too!


16 posted on 04/14/2010 8:59:00 AM PDT by Ro_Thunder ("Other than ending SLAVERY, FASCISM, NAZISM and COMMUNISM, war has never solved anything")
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To: tgusa

HEHEHEHE

Another H&K fan?

I love all of my H&K’s even if they are as expensive as can be .
I have the older H&K .40 USPc. I am looking to upgrade to one of the new P30’s. They look really nice. I would love to get one of the Mark23 SOCOM’s but just can’t justify $2000 for a .45 pistol.

Have you seen the “We are H&K and You Suck and We Hate you” post on the web? Funny but somewhat true stuff...

http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2007/10/09/hk-because-you-suck-and-we-hate-you/


17 posted on 04/14/2010 9:37:35 AM PDT by Syntyr (Mace, Kirk, Thomson, Griffin, Scusa, Martin, Gallegos, Hart - Remember the fallen of Kamdesh)
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To: Syntyr

A friend of ours is a local LEO, and he accompanied my wife for her first visit to the range. She shot his H&K .40 and just loved it - and her entire prior shooting experience consisted of murdering communist beer cans with a .410 single shot when we were much younger. In any event, if the H&K is good enough for the local police it’s certainly good enough for me. OBTW most other jurisdictions issue a 9mm. And thanks for the link, funny stuff there.


18 posted on 04/14/2010 9:56:56 AM PDT by tgusa (Investment plan: blued steel, brass, lead, copper)
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