But his book, I Laid An Egg on Aunt Ruth's Head, is the FUNNIEST book of any kind I have read in a long time - meanwhile it addresses all those pesky grammatical "challenges" that follow us everywhere (either in our own writings or in the form of the corrections given to us in love by those who already KNOW all the grammatical rules by heart.
For THEM - and for all the rest of us - this is for you!
Yes this is a vanity post - but please keep this in “extended news”.
We all are indebted to the “Grammar Police” among us.
I Laid an Egg on Aunt Ruth’s Head should be required reading for all Freepers and those who long to be Freepers!
(either in our own writings or in the form of the corrections given to us in love by those who already KNOW all the grammatical rules by heart.
Ahem. You forgot to close your qoutes. LOL. ;^)
ping
One of the things that particulalry irks me is how some writers will use phrases that they HEAR incorrectly
e.g., For all intents and purposes.
I have seen this used as “for all intensive purposes...”
Also, “I should of gone shopping today.”
Instead of, “I should HAVE gone shopping today”
Sadly, I have seen this done on FR posts...
In memoriam
As adulterated by Sid W Sodnagel
1. Remember to never split an infinitive
2. The passive voice should be avoided.
3. Do not refrain from avoiding to put statements in the negative form.
4. Should you use a positive instead of a double negative? The answer is not no.
5. Subject and verb has to agree.
6. A person should be careful to use a singular pronoun with a singular noun in their writing.
7. Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.
8. Check spelling. I’m series.
9. No incomplete sentences.
10. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
11. A writer must not shift your point of view.
12. A run-on sentence is a sin, don’t commit one.
13. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
14. Place a pronoun as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to its antecedent.
15. Writing carefully, dangling participles will be avoided.
16. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
17. A preposition is generally a terrible word to end a sentence with. However, slavish adherence to this rule will sometimes produce one up with which sophisticated readers will not put.
18. Attempt to avoid gratuitously verbing a noun.
19. Don’t Use Capitalization Indiscriminately.
20. Don’t confuse the spelling of the neuter possessive pronoun with the contraction of “it is.” Its confusing, and the sentence loses it’s impact.
21. If you are going to use a foreign term per say, it is de rigor to spell it correctly. Do so, and—walla!—your writing will improve.
22. Don’t use “like” when you mean “as,” like so many writers do.
23. Avoid hyperbole, and don’t overuse exclamation points. If I’ve told you this once, I’ve told you a million times!!!
24. Eschew obfuscatory stilted modalities of expression.
25. Always pick on the correct idiom.
26. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
27. Avoid colloquial stuff.
28. Lose the pure slang, you suckah!
29. Mixed metaphors are a pain in the ass and should be thrown out the window. However, if you’re going to use one anyway, take that bull by the horns and run with it.
30. Proactively seek out and eliminate unnecessary buzzwords. Make this your special competency and gain share of mind among your peer group.
31. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.
Nine times out of ten, a person will say “proof” when he means “evidence.”
BTTT
I think I do pretty well with the word usage... BUT don’t worry too much about traditional sentence structure. That is why my high school English grades were average at best!
I would have put a comma after your “um”. ;-)
