In memoriam
As adulterated by Sid W Sodnagel
1. Remember to never split an infinitive
2. The passive voice should be avoided.
3. Do not refrain from avoiding to put statements in the negative form.
4. Should you use a positive instead of a double negative? The answer is not no.
5. Subject and verb has to agree.
6. A person should be careful to use a singular pronoun with a singular noun in their writing.
7. Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.
8. Check spelling. I’m series.
9. No incomplete sentences.
10. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
11. A writer must not shift your point of view.
12. A run-on sentence is a sin, don’t commit one.
13. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
14. Place a pronoun as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to its antecedent.
15. Writing carefully, dangling participles will be avoided.
16. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
17. A preposition is generally a terrible word to end a sentence with. However, slavish adherence to this rule will sometimes produce one up with which sophisticated readers will not put.
18. Attempt to avoid gratuitously verbing a noun.
19. Don’t Use Capitalization Indiscriminately.
20. Don’t confuse the spelling of the neuter possessive pronoun with the contraction of “it is.” Its confusing, and the sentence loses it’s impact.
21. If you are going to use a foreign term per say, it is de rigor to spell it correctly. Do so, and—walla!—your writing will improve.
22. Don’t use “like” when you mean “as,” like so many writers do.
23. Avoid hyperbole, and don’t overuse exclamation points. If I’ve told you this once, I’ve told you a million times!!!
24. Eschew obfuscatory stilted modalities of expression.
25. Always pick on the correct idiom.
26. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
27. Avoid colloquial stuff.
28. Lose the pure slang, you suckah!
29. Mixed metaphors are a pain in the ass and should be thrown out the window. However, if you’re going to use one anyway, take that bull by the horns and run with it.
30. Proactively seek out and eliminate unnecessary buzzwords. Make this your special competency and gain share of mind among your peer group.
31. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.
poorly grammar pinging is to myself, its rules.
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OH my goodness! I hope Joel is reading this thread and sees your post #48.
Hilarious!!! Thanks for the post.
Make sure the parts of the sentence that are supposed to be parallel really are parallel, of the same part of speech, and make sense.