Posted on 06/23/2009 4:52:16 PM PDT by Bokababe
Reunions of adopted children and their birth parents are usually heartwarming moments in which tears flow and broken bonds are made whole in mere seconds.
At least that's how it usually plays out on "Oprah."
But that wasn't the case last Dec. 13, when an Atlantic City woman came face to face with the daughter she placed for adoption 30 years ago after being raped.
This short reunion on the woman's doorstep left her feeling "violated, in shock, and short of breath," according to a lawsuit filed Thursday in U.S. District Court, in Camden, and she believes that a division of New Jersey's Department of Children and Families helped set up the traumatic event.
(Excerpt) Read more at philly.com ...
I agree! This woman put the child up for adoption thinking sje did the right thing for her child under the circumstances and thought she’s never have to think about it again.I think if told 30 years ago this might happen she may have chose another outcome that wouldn’t include a chance of reunion! A lot of women go on and never tell anyone they had a child as a young person. One’s life sure would be completely overturned if all of a sudden a surprise showed up with no warning!If the Mother or child wants to find the other IMHO both have to want it not just one side.
Some things are too intensely personal for anyone to cavalierly decide what others should or shouldn't do.
Rule #1 of civilized behavior: NEVER offer advice unless it is requested.
Even Plato and Aristotle had rational ruminations about the ethical and moral treatment of innocent and more innocent persons.
The mother had every right to expect to live her life without the reminder of the trauma.
That has to be a typo. Right?
If I were the object of the cruel attacks this women is being forced to endure, I would give consideration to fighting back with something along those lines.
Why is disturbing about it?
After all, it seems that silence is considered consent, and I wouldn't be silent anymore..
No.
I know that life is not fair and that everyone goes through identity issues. I was stating that those issues are magnified when you are adopted. The only issue is that these questions start when you are around 6 or so and never go away.
And I do not blame anyone who wants to know where they came from. The state did what the law required and this woman ignored a letter asking if she was ok with this, so she is at fault for this.
Agree!
Then perhaps you are a very selfish adoptive parent.
No she isn't. The State had no right to barge into her life, she never gave them permission to do so.
Are you nuts?
stae law said they did
Are you an adoptive parent?
The law says that unless she says NO, they were to assume it to be YES?
None of your business.
They contacted her and she ignored it. If she felt this upset about it, then she should have said no.
I agree she had the right to be left alone. The state should not have given out her contact information without a positive response from her. For all the state knew she didn’t even receive the letter. How presumptuous and irresposible.
Ignoring the contact should indicate that she is not ok with it.
Writing back and saying it's ok would be the indicator that she is ok with it.
LOL!! Step away from the keyboard...
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