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Distraught woman sues, alleging N.J. helped child of rape find her
Philadelphia Daily News ^ | Tue, Jun. 23, 2009 | JASON NARK

Posted on 06/23/2009 4:52:16 PM PDT by Bokababe

Reunions of adopted children and their birth parents are usually heartwarming moments in which tears flow and broken bonds are made whole in mere seconds.

At least that's how it usually plays out on "Oprah."

But that wasn't the case last Dec. 13, when an Atlantic City woman came face to face with the daughter she placed for adoption 30 years ago after being raped.

This short reunion on the woman's doorstep left her feeling "violated, in shock, and short of breath," according to a lawsuit filed Thursday in U.S. District Court, in Camden, and she believes that a division of New Jersey's Department of Children and Families helped set up the traumatic event.

(Excerpt) Read more at philly.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Government; US: New Jersey
KEYWORDS: abortion; adoption; moralabsolutes; rape; socialservices
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To: Balding_Eagle
I should have bee more clear, it is this statement which I find disturbing: If I were the mother I'd give some thought to publically saying "I wish I'd aborted her".
61 posted on 06/23/2009 7:07:13 PM PDT by svcw (Barry: mentally deficient & narcissistic megonogistic megalomaniac psychopath w/ paranoid delusions)
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To: Albion Wilde

I agree! This woman put the child up for adoption thinking sje did the right thing for her child under the circumstances and thought she’s never have to think about it again.I think if told 30 years ago this might happen she may have chose another outcome that wouldn’t include a chance of reunion! A lot of women go on and never tell anyone they had a child as a young person. One’s life sure would be completely overturned if all of a sudden a surprise showed up with no warning!If the Mother or child wants to find the other IMHO both have to want it not just one side.


62 posted on 06/23/2009 7:11:20 PM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: silverleaf
This woman should have had therapy to deal with this and stop rejecting the daughter. She is an innocent now as she was 30 years ago. Social workers should help them both come to an understanding and parting.

Some things are too intensely personal for anyone to cavalierly decide what others should or shouldn't do.

Rule #1 of civilized behavior: NEVER offer advice unless it is requested.

Even Plato and Aristotle had rational ruminations about the ethical and moral treatment of innocent and more innocent persons.

The mother had every right to expect to live her life without the reminder of the trauma.

63 posted on 06/23/2009 7:11:44 PM PDT by Publius6961 (Change is not a plan; Hope is not a strategy.)
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To: Albion Wilde
The child has no right to know.

That has to be a typo. Right?

64 posted on 06/23/2009 7:13:27 PM PDT by EnquiringMind
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To: svcw
I should have bee more clear, it is this statement which I find disturbing: If I were the mother I'd give some thought to publically saying "I wish I'd aborted her".

If I were the object of the cruel attacks this women is being forced to endure, I would give consideration to fighting back with something along those lines.

Why is disturbing about it?

After all, it seems that silence is considered consent, and I wouldn't be silent anymore..

65 posted on 06/23/2009 7:14:42 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (Overproduction, one of the top five worries for the American farmer.)
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To: EnquiringMind
That has to be a typo. Right?

No.

66 posted on 06/23/2009 7:23:15 PM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Shouldn't there be equal time for our Bill of Responsibilities?" -- Justice Clarence Thomas)
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To: Albion Wilde

I know that life is not fair and that everyone goes through identity issues. I was stating that those issues are magnified when you are adopted. The only issue is that these questions start when you are around 6 or so and never go away.
And I do not blame anyone who wants to know where they came from. The state did what the law required and this woman ignored a letter asking if she was ok with this, so she is at fault for this.


67 posted on 06/23/2009 7:23:52 PM PDT by chae (I am karmic retribution)
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To: Albion Wilde

Agree!


68 posted on 06/23/2009 7:24:31 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (Overproduction, one of the top five worries for the American farmer.)
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To: Albion Wilde

Then perhaps you are a very selfish adoptive parent.


69 posted on 06/23/2009 7:24:53 PM PDT by EnquiringMind
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To: chae
The state did what the law required and this woman ignored a letter asking if she was ok with this, so she is at fault for this.

No she isn't. The State had no right to barge into her life, she never gave them permission to do so.

70 posted on 06/23/2009 7:26:04 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (Overproduction, one of the top five worries for the American farmer.)
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To: EnquiringMind

Are you nuts?


71 posted on 06/23/2009 7:27:03 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (Overproduction, one of the top five worries for the American farmer.)
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To: Balding_Eagle

stae law said they did


72 posted on 06/23/2009 7:27:19 PM PDT by chae (I am karmic retribution)
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To: Balding_Eagle

Are you an adoptive parent?


73 posted on 06/23/2009 7:28:08 PM PDT by EnquiringMind
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To: chae

The law says that unless she says NO, they were to assume it to be YES?


74 posted on 06/23/2009 7:29:04 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (Overproduction, one of the top five worries for the American farmer.)
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To: EnquiringMind

None of your business.


75 posted on 06/23/2009 7:29:58 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (Overproduction, one of the top five worries for the American farmer.)
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Comment #76 Removed by Moderator

To: Balding_Eagle

They contacted her and she ignored it. If she felt this upset about it, then she should have said no.


77 posted on 06/23/2009 7:32:04 PM PDT by chae (I am karmic retribution)
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To: Balding_Eagle

I agree she had the right to be left alone. The state should not have given out her contact information without a positive response from her. For all the state knew she didn’t even receive the letter. How presumptuous and irresposible.


78 posted on 06/23/2009 7:35:34 PM PDT by clashfan
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To: chae
(Coming late into the fray...)

Ignoring the contact should indicate that she is not ok with it.

Writing back and saying it's ok would be the indicator that she is ok with it.

79 posted on 06/23/2009 7:36:01 PM PDT by bannie
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To: EnquiringMind
Then perhaps you are a very selfish adoptive parent.

LOL!! Step away from the keyboard...

80 posted on 06/23/2009 7:36:23 PM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Shouldn't there be equal time for our Bill of Responsibilities?" -- Justice Clarence Thomas)
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