Posted on 03/03/2009 5:05:09 AM PST by Kaslin
Julia is a fairly typical 16-year-old girl: she is crazy about boys, concerned about being fashionable, doesn't appreciate homework, loves pizza - and she "cuts".
For those who aren't familiar with the term - and whose imaginations might be thinking the worst about what it means to "cut" - I'm afraid I only have very sad news: "cutting" means you take a knife or razor and use it to actually dig into your own flesh.
This barbaric practice is common among today's precious teen women. Some school counselors estimate that the majority of middle and high school aged girls have engaged in such self-mutilation.
When I first heard about the bizarre behavior I must admit that I assumed it was rare, only done by a few girls with severe mental issues who dress in black Goth clothes accented by equally black eye shadow and studded lips. Yes, many of these girls who appear to be troubled do cut - but so do many of the young women who look like "the girl next door".
Why on earth do our little girls maim themselves? Much of it comes as a result of the hardness that often follows a severely broken heart. Some have grown so numb to the onslaught of abuse and emotional pain that they inflict intense physical pain on their bodies and watch their own blood flow to simply remind themselves that they are alive. Others do it in order to build their immunity to pain in general - they have to find a way to distract themselves from the ever-growing, gut-wrenching emotional trauma over their broken families.
Author Jane Alison's essay published in the New York Times on March 1, 2009, adapted from her forth-coming memoir, "The Sisters Antipodes" due out this month, is a heart-wrenching account of the tragic consequences of divorce on children. She reflects on her own struggles to cope with the fact that her dad left not just his wife, but his own daughters to marry another woman. She explained her and her sister's desperate efforts to cope with the abandonment, "....we tried to make ourselves valuable - writing, dreaming, trying to earn our own father's love. Or, as we tried to feel nothing at all, through drinking, cutting, men and sex."
Divorce is not at the root of all the reasons for self-mutilation. Abuse, a fear of failure, low and low self-image are also contributors. But what cutters have in common is a spirit of brokenness. When I asked my daughter if she knows anyone who cuts, to my horror she replied, "Yes. A lot of people." As she started naming names I realized that nearly all of them are from broken homes. When she asked her classmate, Julia, why she rips into her own arm with a knife, the girl replied, "I don't know - I just do it when I'm sad." A by-product of divorce, it appears by the number of scars on her arms that Julia is sad quite frequently.
Recently I met two wonderful women - Nancy Alcorn and Christy Singleton - who offer real help to girls who are suffering so deeply from abuse and brokenness that they start abusing themselves. Mercy Ministries (www.MercyMinistries.org) serves young women through a free six-month long residential counseling program. They bring both hope and life change to young women who have "life controlling issues such as eating disorders, self-harm, unplanned pregnancy, sexual abuse, addictions and depression." The girls receive biblically based counseling, learn life skills such as setting boundaries, budgeting, and preparation for parenting if they are pregnant. They also take nutrition and fitness education classes. But most of all, they are loved and shown that they can overcome deep hurts of all kinds and create a bright future.
"The Mercy Ministries program takes a non-conventional approach to treatment by getting to the root issues of the problems and then helping the young women move past their debilitating circumstances, recognize and accept their self-worth and prepare them to reach their full potential," says Singleton.
Mercy Ministries reports that they have helped over 2000 young women find freedom from very difficult issues and graduates of their program are found in "universities, on the mission field, working, raising children and giving back to their communities." The program is voluntary and open to young women across the nation. Visit www.mercyministries.org for more information about how to apply. You can also order their helpful book entitled, "Cut: Mercy for Self-Harm" which explains in far greater detail the huge problem that "self harm" has become in our nation, the various forms it takes, the reasons behind it, and most importantly - how to experience freedom and victory over both the causes of and the destructive behavior.
p.s.
Shaw was the name Lawrence used when he re-enlisted as a raw recruit. He details that particular adventure in The Mint.
That's not the one I've got; I'll have to look in the library! And you may be right about some of our founders. Some of the most brilliant - Richard Henry Lee and John Randolph come to mind - we also high-level flakes.
I'll have to look that one up. My standard cure for a really bad day dealing with management is to pour a scotch, retire to my greenhouse and read "The Battle in the Hall."
“were also”
And now, I must resist the call of history, philosophy, and literature to change diapers and then go to Wal-mart.
Let us not forget Charles “Chinese” Gordon if we’re speaking of “eccentric” Englishmen of that time.
I read this and think “it takes a village.”
Some children just aren’t emotionally ready to be criticized and judged by others when they get to school. Certainly, not all children are capable of dealing with all the social pressure at the same age.Perhaps there is an element of naivete’; some children hear they are stupid, ugly, fat, etc. enough times, they believe it.
I wonder if the Amish communities have the same prevalence of this disorder? How about home schooled? I doubt it in either case.
I haven’t read his biography; there’s bound to be one or more.
We Americans like to build mythologies around our historical heroes, the Brits seem to relish the eccentricities, so it’s a tough thing to compare.
Look at Jefferson with Sally or editing the Bible. What the hell was editing the Bible about?
Franklin, of course, had his illegitimate son — nobody knew who the mother was.
It’s all part of the “go tribal” trend, which includes rap music, tats, gangs and all the rest. Take away the technology and America looks more and more like a bunch of the wild savages the Victorians were so enchanted with.
Makes you wonder what the hell was in the water back then...
“Tell me, why did they arrest the little bastard?” And Franklin wasn’t even really married to his “wife.” Interesting times.
But with the family lives many children have, this behavior is not at all surprising (it is often correlated with depressive disorders or Borderline Personality Disorder [BPD], which correlates with abuse or parental separation [e.g., working mom or divorce]). I just can't fathom a future society composed of so many women with BPD or other personality disorders.
From Medscape:
Although borderline pathology in childhood is not necessarily a precursor to BPD in adulthood, evidence suggests that both have strikingly similar risk factors, which may indicate a common etiology. These risk factors include family environments characterized by trauma, neglect, and/or separation; exposure to sexual and physical abuse; and serious parental psychopathology, such as antisocial personality disorder and substance abuseAnd as is pointed out here, "Health care costs in patients with borderline pathology are enormous [...]"
Disclaimer: I am not a professional in any field related to this.
Typhoid, cholera, amoebic dystentery ...
Syphillis also causes some bizarre psychological effects, which explains *some* of Burton's issues.
(Now I'm really leaving. Gosh, I love Free Republic!)
>>Eating disorders and self-mutilation are a way for the inmates to exercise control: They can force me into this institution, but they can’t make me eat. I can hurt myself more than they can hurt me.<<
Spot on!
Never bring up ole T.E. — you never know what the response will be.
To get at the moral views without the supernatural.
This is not a "fashionable" phase. It is a psychological issue that has become much more prevalent as of late.
And there's lots of them - some of it's real - more pain than the kids can handle - and some of it's copycat stuff. The adults in this narcissistic culture need to get their acts together.
Most people would be satisfied with just self-editing as they read. Then again, most people would finish building their damn house!
Ping for kiddo to read later. He’s a big fan of TWLOHA.
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