Posted on 03/03/2009 5:05:09 AM PST by Kaslin
Julia is a fairly typical 16-year-old girl: she is crazy about boys, concerned about being fashionable, doesn't appreciate homework, loves pizza - and she "cuts".
For those who aren't familiar with the term - and whose imaginations might be thinking the worst about what it means to "cut" - I'm afraid I only have very sad news: "cutting" means you take a knife or razor and use it to actually dig into your own flesh.
This barbaric practice is common among today's precious teen women. Some school counselors estimate that the majority of middle and high school aged girls have engaged in such self-mutilation.
When I first heard about the bizarre behavior I must admit that I assumed it was rare, only done by a few girls with severe mental issues who dress in black Goth clothes accented by equally black eye shadow and studded lips. Yes, many of these girls who appear to be troubled do cut - but so do many of the young women who look like "the girl next door".
Why on earth do our little girls maim themselves? Much of it comes as a result of the hardness that often follows a severely broken heart. Some have grown so numb to the onslaught of abuse and emotional pain that they inflict intense physical pain on their bodies and watch their own blood flow to simply remind themselves that they are alive. Others do it in order to build their immunity to pain in general - they have to find a way to distract themselves from the ever-growing, gut-wrenching emotional trauma over their broken families.
Author Jane Alison's essay published in the New York Times on March 1, 2009, adapted from her forth-coming memoir, "The Sisters Antipodes" due out this month, is a heart-wrenching account of the tragic consequences of divorce on children. She reflects on her own struggles to cope with the fact that her dad left not just his wife, but his own daughters to marry another woman. She explained her and her sister's desperate efforts to cope with the abandonment, "....we tried to make ourselves valuable - writing, dreaming, trying to earn our own father's love. Or, as we tried to feel nothing at all, through drinking, cutting, men and sex."
Divorce is not at the root of all the reasons for self-mutilation. Abuse, a fear of failure, low and low self-image are also contributors. But what cutters have in common is a spirit of brokenness. When I asked my daughter if she knows anyone who cuts, to my horror she replied, "Yes. A lot of people." As she started naming names I realized that nearly all of them are from broken homes. When she asked her classmate, Julia, why she rips into her own arm with a knife, the girl replied, "I don't know - I just do it when I'm sad." A by-product of divorce, it appears by the number of scars on her arms that Julia is sad quite frequently.
Recently I met two wonderful women - Nancy Alcorn and Christy Singleton - who offer real help to girls who are suffering so deeply from abuse and brokenness that they start abusing themselves. Mercy Ministries (www.MercyMinistries.org) serves young women through a free six-month long residential counseling program. They bring both hope and life change to young women who have "life controlling issues such as eating disorders, self-harm, unplanned pregnancy, sexual abuse, addictions and depression." The girls receive biblically based counseling, learn life skills such as setting boundaries, budgeting, and preparation for parenting if they are pregnant. They also take nutrition and fitness education classes. But most of all, they are loved and shown that they can overcome deep hurts of all kinds and create a bright future.
"The Mercy Ministries program takes a non-conventional approach to treatment by getting to the root issues of the problems and then helping the young women move past their debilitating circumstances, recognize and accept their self-worth and prepare them to reach their full potential," says Singleton.
Mercy Ministries reports that they have helped over 2000 young women find freedom from very difficult issues and graduates of their program are found in "universities, on the mission field, working, raising children and giving back to their communities." The program is voluntary and open to young women across the nation. Visit www.mercyministries.org for more information about how to apply. You can also order their helpful book entitled, "Cut: Mercy for Self-Harm" which explains in far greater detail the huge problem that "self harm" has become in our nation, the various forms it takes, the reasons behind it, and most importantly - how to experience freedom and victory over both the causes of and the destructive behavior.
Oh, Brave New World.
Didn’t we kind of know this was coming with the new tatoo/piercing craze? Wanna bet cliterodectomies by choice are coming, from those who “don’t want to be slaves to their physical bodies?”
This has been a “startling new trend” for more than 20 years.
This is hardly a new trend. There were “Cutting” teenagers already in the 1990’s.
This is another unitended consequence of artificial contraception.
I am horrified, but not surprised.
This is what happens when the culture actively denigrates and villifies the Christian worldview.
If your existance is only here and now, and is only material, then why not do what you want to and with your body?
I knew a couple of girls who did this when I was in high school, I graduated in ‘58.
What is society doing for young men? These are the ones w/the target on their backs.
Pray for America
My emo lawn cuts itself.
I got cut from high school basketball...
OK, so I agree that this is horrific,
and that contraception has had many consequences (unintended? by whom?),
but I fail to see the connection here.
I see this as a consequence of the postmodernist (no truth) and materialist worldview being pushed on our young people.
Can you explain how you get from contraception to cutting?
Used to be the only thing in high school that got cut was math class.
O Brave New World, indeed.
I'd be really interested to learn how you make that connection.
Another non-profit that works not only with cutters but peripheral problems related like addiction, depression is “To Write Love on her arms”... I know they sometimes send out Christian bands and talk to young folks especially the women I met a marvelous woman who gave her testimony at a concert for TWLOHO.
Those of us who are way past that age probably are either in denial that this is a huge problem or wonder if its just some sort of way to get attention. But it is serious and effects huge numbers of young folks.
The best way to describe simplistically what I think is happening is that these persons hurt so much on the inside the act of cutting is a way to release the pain so it will come out when they bleed It is really a commentary on our society and the value we place on people.
It is TWLOHA...not TWLOHO...its early and I have not had enough coffee.
I knew someone who did this in the 70s. She was what is known as a borderline personality disorder.
This is as old as time itself, why pretend it’s new?
This is as old as time itself, why pretend it’s new?
Because the horror of it makes it seem as if the world is in worse shape than it was half a century ago.
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