Posted on 02/09/2009 6:28:04 PM PST by nickcarraway
As a successful playwright this woman should have the world at her feet. So why, at 36, does she feel bitterly unfulfilled?
Though I never thought I would be saying this, being a free woman isn't all it's cracked up to be. Is that the rustle of taffeta I hear as the suffragettes turn in their grave? Very possibly.
My mother - a film-maker - was a hippy who kept a pile of dusty books by Germaine Greer and Erica Jong by her bedside. (Like every good feminist, she didn't see why she should do all the cleaning.) She imbued me with the great values of choice, equality and sexual liberation.
As a result, I fought with my older brother and won, and at university I beat the rugby lads at drinking games. I was not to be messed with. Inner truth: Zoe Lewis has come to yearn for marriage and motherhood
Inner truth: Zoe Lewis has come to yearn for marriage and motherhood
But, at nearly 37, those same values leave me feeling cold. Now, I want love and children, but they are nowhere to be seen.
When I was growing up, I was led to believe by my mother and other women of her generation that women could 'have it all', and, more to the point, that we wanted it all. To that end, I have spent 20 years ruthlessly pursuing my dream of being a successful playwright. I have sacrificed all my womanly duties and laid it all at the altar of a career. And was it worth it? The answer has to be a resounding no.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Well said! With this woman, it's STILL all about ME, ME, ME! She's only looking at what a man could do for HER, which, at this point, is be a sperm donor, not what SHE could bring to a loving relationship.
Actually she does say in the article that she doesn’t need a man, but that she wants one.
These women like to say that men can’t handle strong, independent women. Think Maureen Dowd’s last book. First off, a women doesn’t need to be career driven to be strong. That’s her first mistake. History is full of strong women who were wives and mothers and never had a career. So, that line of crap is just that, crap. Millions of women have careers and marriage and children. She is just looking for someone else to blame for her failure.
Hugh Hefner and Gloria Steinem cheerfully kept each other in business for decades. Beginning with “A Bunny’s Tale” when she went undercover as a Bunny waitress in one of his clubs.
They were both all about the commitment-free lifestyle.
I had a similar experience. I had always planned to be the childless aunt, who swept in with presents for all my little nieces and nephews and was loved by all because of my exciting life which involved lots of travel. I was going to be the one every wishes they were because I was independent. You know the drill. That was me right up until the day I looked into the eyes of my newborn son and knew that he owned me for the rest of my life. Felt the same way with the birth of my daughter.
Some women may think I surrendered, and in a way I did. I gave up thinking that anything else would be acceptable. I gave up thinking that I didn’t need a husband, a family and a home. I gave up the grind of working to concentrate on taking care of the three people in my life that needed me most.
This women allowed herself to believe that it was money, fame and glory which would fulfill her. She has had the successful career and probably had people fawning over her and using her for their own purposes. And there’s the rub.
If it wasn’t her, it would be someone else. As long as you are on top, the world loves you, but in the world, the stars are a dime a dozen.
As a mother, you are always important, always needed, always unique in your place. No one else can fill it. That’s what she’s really missing.
She still only gets part of it.
Her self-love is overpowering here. She assumes the problem is that no man is worthy of her. She has no intention of making any concessions or sacrifices. I really don’t get the impression she has ever had a half-way decent relationship ever. I sense a really obnoxious, entitled attitude that that clenched-fist of a face is probably the most visible expression.
I’m guessing most of us wouldn’t need to spend more that ten minutes in her presence to realize that the problem is her personality. And yes, looks matter too. She is the ugliest thirty-seven I’ve ever seen.
Yes, she’s due on the 27th, but may be coming much sooner...we may be inducing on Friday or Monday. Either will be a nice anniversary present for my folks, who will celebrate their 40th on Saturday.
I’m trying to come up with a short statement of why there’s no hope for the author (and her friends) but nothing seems better than what you said. They’re totally self-centered. It puzzles me that people who are clearly unhappy and dissatisfied would persist in saying they don’t need anyone else. If they were really self-sufficient, they’d be happy as they are.
I think part of their problem is expressed in the statement, “I don’t need a man,” where “a man” is a concept, rather than a person. I don’t need “a man,” either. I need my husband, and my children need their father. His earning a salary, and the household activities he accomplishes, are things I could do and have done. He could do laundry and sweep floors, if I didn’t. However, those are just the tip-of-the-iceberg aspects of being married for 20 year and having 9 children.
No offense, but you’re taking her out of context. She’s talking about not needing a man to get through her everyday life, not about needing a man for fulfillment, which was what I was referring to and what feminists have meant when they say stuff like “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”
Good luck! I’d like to have mine on my father’s birthday, June 4.
Thanks!
Hi tax-chick. How’s the college search going?
My daughter got accepted to San Diego State. We only know that now because out of state students have to apply in November, so the acceptance letters go out in January. We are still waiting to hear from four others and then she can make a choice.
So, just want to mention that June 1st is a real good date for a birthday:) I have like having it for 48 years now. LOL
This is my age group. I recently went to my wife's 20 year high school reunion. I heard this sentiment from many of the women there, many of whom were professionals who had quit their jobs to get married and have a family when they realized that it's simply not as easy to have a baby after 35. The funny thing is that not only were they mad about being goaded into pursuing a career over marriage and family, they felt that no ever told them they would not be able to have kids when they were older. Basically, they were sold the bill of goods that they could have it all and then get married and have a family later in life. It was only when their biological clocks started ticking and they suddenly realized the tremendous lies that had been told to them, and then when their friends of the same age had to spend many thousands of dollars on in-vitro or fertility testing reality hit them square in the face. Those who didn't even have a man in their life were basically screwed because it takes time to start a relationship and plan on having kids, and time is something they are short on, and they really didn't want to raise kids all alone.
Another funny fact: The redneck women actually knew better and had families younger, and though they were looked down on high school, many of the childless women actually envy them now because they chose family over career. When this generation gets into real power, things are going change a lot, because there is real anger among the Xers at some of the things that happened to us growing up and all the stupid laws that have been passed during our lifetimes. I think Sarah Palin is just the tip of the Xer iceburg, with many more like her to come.
Funny thing about these women who’ve been indoctrinated with “I don’t need a man” - they invariably vote for the gov’t to be their provider, security, and protector.
God gave us roles based on our sexes for a good reason. It’s for our own good.
Anoreth is in her second semester at the nearest community college branch, and getting through the basic courses with no trouble. The cost is very reasonable, and I still have my extra driver ;-). She should have her Associates Degree in Criminal Justice by the time she’s 19, and by then she’ll have decided whether to join the military, apply to a police force, or finish college elsewhere in the state.
With another brother on the way, I’m betting she’ll go with the military - if you’re going to live in close quarters with a lot of males, might as well get paid for it! She’s looking at the Coast Guard, in spite of posts on the Great Lakes in winter, because they put women on the front lines of drug interdiction, pirate-hunting, and other exciting activities.
June 14 is the “official” due date, but the last three have been between 10 days and three weeks early, so I’m hoping this one will arrive in the first week of June.
I hope your daughter gets accepted everywhere, so she can pick the one she really likes best!
Yes, that is funny. "High-powered, self-sufficient" single career women are a strong constituency for Big Daddy Government. Cognitive disjunction ...
OK.
And woe to the man with her when she decides she "wants" something else.
And as a note to feminists, being a man is NOT about having whatever you want; more often than not it's about sacrificing what you really want to serve a higher purpose. You've been looing at "males," not "men."
But she made her own decisions. It seems rather disingenous of her to blame her predicament on “feminism”.
I agree. Many of us were brought up in the same time period, with the same indoctrination, and yet have made different choices in our lives. One is free to reject an erroneous ideology, no matter how strongly "society" pushes it. Nobody forced her to turn down marriage proposals.
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