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Best Obama Jokes (Vanity)
10-2-2008
| Entrepreneur
Posted on 10/02/2008 7:04:22 AM PDT by Entrepreneur
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To: Entrepreneur
A funny thing happened to me on the way to the gulag...
Take my fearless leader, PLEASE!
A socialist, a capitalist and a communist agreed to meet. The socialist was late. ‘Excuse me for being late, I was standing in a queue for sausages.’ ‘And what is a queue?’ the capitalist asked. ‘And what is a sausage?’ the communist asked.
Will there really be secret police under Obama? No, by then people will have learned to arrest themselves.
How will things be under Obama? Well, Lenin showed ‘us’ how to govern. Stalin showed ‘us’ how not to govern. Khrushchev showed us that any fool can govern. And Brezhnev showed us that not every fool can govern.
Why have the newer models of TVs been equipped with screen wipers, similar to the windshield wipers on a car? Because people are frequently spitting at the screen.
What’s the difference between socialism and capitalism?Under capitalism one person exploits another person, and under socialism - the opposite.
21
posted on
10/02/2008 7:22:48 AM PDT
by
weegee
(Obama's a uniter?"I want you to argue with them (friends,neighbors,Republicans) & get in their face")
To: Entrepreneur
an Obama supporter on either side of a creek,
one yells to the other “How do you get to the other side?”
the other replies “You’re already there.”
To: badpacifist
An Alaskan hunter shot a 12 point buck. After skinning it and before he could drag it back to his pickup, a blizzard roared through. To survive the cold, he climbed into the buckskin to keep warm. The next morning he found that he couldn’t get out. Seems that the snow had sealed him in. He started to panic, thinking that he might eventually starve to death. Then he remembered he had voted for Obama in the primary, and he felt so small he crawled out the @ss h*le...
23
posted on
10/02/2008 7:26:14 AM PDT
by
nikos1121
(Obama-Biden Where's the beef?)
To: Entrepreneur
My favorite:
Q: What's the difference between an Obama rally and a Nuremberg rally?
A: Hitler supplied the adoring crowds with better music.
24
posted on
10/02/2008 7:26:23 AM PDT
by
Vigilanteman
(Are there any men left in Washington? Or, are there only cowards? Ahmad Shah Massoud)
To: Impy
?????
I don't get this joke.
?????
To: Entrepreneur
Thanks. I needed something to laugh at. I don't want to believe that Americans are so stupid that they would put Obama in the White House. But it is looking more and more that way. At this point, John McCain seems more interested in “making nice” with the Democrats who are playing dirty. They attack and lie and obfuscate the truth. McCain barely fires back, if at all. Currently it seems that he is neither playing offense nor defense.
26
posted on
10/02/2008 7:30:27 AM PDT
by
Nevadan
To: softwarecreator
Haha. It’s just an insult of Obama.
27
posted on
10/02/2008 7:31:50 AM PDT
by
Impy
(Spellcheck hates Obama, you should too.)
To: nikos1121
28
posted on
10/02/2008 7:33:22 AM PDT
by
Impy
(Spellcheck hates Obama, you should too.)
To: Entrepreneur
29
posted on
10/02/2008 7:34:11 AM PDT
by
Mojave
To: Nevadan
McCain barely fires back, if at all. Currently it seems that he is neither playing offense nor defense. Yeah. Reminds me of what some hockey coach once said after being fired: "We lost at home and we lost on the road. My failure as a coach is I couldn't find anyplace else to play"
To: Impy
Larry’s not so young anymore.
31
posted on
10/02/2008 7:35:50 AM PDT
by
Mojave
To: Entrepreneur
Why is Obama/Biden like a newspaper?
They are both black and white and red all over. (groan)
Why is Obama/Biden unlike a vacuum cleaner?
They both suck, but a vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the bottom.
What's the difference between a community organizer and a squirrel?
Hmm...hiding nuts...acorns...not sure. Oh, a squirrel isn't a socialist?
Why is a stopped clock preferable to Nancy Pelosi?
______________________________________
Why is America in 2008 like Germany before WWII?
______________________________________
32
posted on
10/02/2008 7:37:37 AM PDT
by
Sender
(Never lose your ignorance; you can never regain it!)
To: Entrepreneur
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama? One is a well dressed, attractive piece of eye-candy. The other kills her own food. Winner! You had me right there.
33
posted on
10/02/2008 7:39:17 AM PDT
by
TC Rider
(The United States Constitution - 1791. All Rights Reserved.)
To: badpacifist
Why does the Secret Service detail protecting Obama fear the most? The wind.
34
posted on
10/02/2008 7:42:33 AM PDT
by
FreeAtlanta
(NOBAMA - it is for our future)
To: Impy
35
posted on
10/02/2008 7:44:33 AM PDT
by
ßuddaßudd
(7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona....)
To: Entrepreneur
If Barack Obama is "Change we can believe in" here is a penny for your thoughts
36
posted on
10/02/2008 7:50:24 AM PDT
by
april15Bendovr
(Free Republic & Ron Paul Cult = oxymoron)
To: Sender
Why is Obama/Biden like a newspaper? They are both black and white and red all over. (groan)You could actually make this just about 0bama: Why is 0bama like a newspaper?
37
posted on
10/02/2008 8:32:40 AM PDT
by
sportutegrl
(0bi has been looking a little wan.)
To: april15Bendovr
38
posted on
10/02/2008 8:32:45 AM PDT
by
Nashvegas
(What do you get if you offer a liberal a penny for their thoughts? Change)
To: Entrepreneur
How many aborted babies will vote for Obama?
-it's above my pay grade
-polling shows him leading by 98 points among aborted babies that are most likely to vote.
What do you get when you elect a president that thinks the question of when life begins is above his pay grade?
39
posted on
10/02/2008 8:41:08 AM PDT
by
Between the Lines
(I am very cognizant of my fallibility, sinfulness, and other limitations.)
To: Between the Lines
Correction -an Obamanation
40
posted on
10/02/2008 8:43:52 AM PDT
by
Between the Lines
(I am very cognizant of my fallibility, sinfulness, and other limitations.)
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