Posted on 10/02/2008 7:04:22 AM PDT by Entrepreneur
Having started my day by checking out the news and opinion on Free Republic, I'm depressed. This is no way to start the day, so I'm going to throw out some of the Obama jokes I've heard and a few I've made up on my own. Add to it. Nothing gets under the skin of the left like humor at their expense.
What did Barack Obama ask when he learned that Russia invade Georgia? Is South Carolina next?
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama? One is a well dressed, attractive piece of eye-candy. The other kills her own food.
What does Obama say when you sneeze around him? I bless you.
What happens when Obama mentions his relationship with Saul Alinsky? He turns red.
Have you seen the new bumper sticker? It’s Obama bin Biden.
What’s the difference between Osama bin Laden and Obama bin Biden? With Obama bin Biden, you get two for the price of one.
Since Barack Obama likes to play basketball and Sarah Palin was point guard on a state champion basketball team in high school. Obama said he’d like to play Palin in a game of horse. Palin wants a game of one-on-one. “I think I can take him,” she said. “Everyone knows he won’t move to his right.”
What did Obama say when the Reverend Jeremiah Wright asked if he was listening during his sermons? “I’m all ears.”
Speaking of ears, what’s the difference between Barack Obama and Dumbo? Dumbo is smarter than he looks.
Why did Barack Obama cross the road? To help the other side.
Why did John McCain cross the road? He didn’t. He got to the middle and stopped.
Obama claims McCain cheated during the Saddleback Church forum. He knew McCain cheated because he gave straight answers. Politicians aren't supposed to do that.
Obama and McCain were talking in the Senate cloakroom one day. Obama told McCain, “I’ve got a great way to win the cabbie vote. I give them a big tip, which I charge to the taxpayers, and tell them to vote Obama.” McCain responded, “I think my approach is better. I don’t give them any tip and tell them to vote Obama.”
People worry that McCain, if elected, might not last four years due to his age. Others worry that America, if Obama’s elected, might not last four years due to his policies.
Why won’t Obama laugh at himself? He doesn’t want to be accused of being a racist.
Why won’t Obama drink Pepsi? He wrote in his book that he prefers Coke.
Why is Jimmy Carter campaigning hard for Obama? It’s Carter’s one shot to avoid going down in history as the worst president ever.
What does terrorist Bill Ayers think of his friend, Barack Obama? He thinks he’s the bomb.
Why is Obama so skinny? He has to stay light on his feet to walk on water.
What does Obama and Osama bin Laden have in common? They’re both friends with terrorists who bombed the Pentagon.
Where did Obama decry the influence of money on politics? Barbara Streisand’s $28,500 a plate dinner.
Did you notice how Sarah Palin kept referring to McCain as John S. McCain during her speech at the Republican convention? This bewildered conservatives who always thought his middle name was “effing.”
What do Miley Cyrus and Barack Obama have in common? They both attract young people with mindless verses.
What’s the difference between Michelle Obama and pit bull? Pit bulls aren’t angry *all* the time.
OK that made me chuckle
Not bad! :-)
Thanks for the jokes. And don’t let our current onslaught of angry freepers get to you. They have become comical crybabies. Find the humor.
Where’s one.
A Priest and Rabbi walk into a gay bar by mistake, they see Barack Obama there doing a line of coke with a young man. “Boy that guy is ugly” says the Rabbi.
I posted this on a different thread the other day, I thinks its funny
A Maverick and the Messiah somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had the Messiah in his chair reached for the aftershave.
The Messiah was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse,”
The second barber turned to the Maverick and said, “How about you?” the Maverick replied, “Go ahead, my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like”
These were on a thread here some months ago and I copied them down (and added some) to email to a friend...there were some great answers:
How many Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. He holds the bulb up to the socket and the world revolves around him.
It is not Barack Obama who will change the light bulb. We are the change our light bulb has been waiting for.
While I’m not sure of the exact number, I am sure it could only happen if the instructions appear on a teleprompter.
Trick question - light bulbs are banned.
None. Changing light bulbs is above his pay grade.
None. The light bulb has to hope for the change.
Who needs light bulbs? His halo provides all the light he needs.
None. A Guy Who Just Lives in his Neighborhood will blow it up with a pipe bomb
Light bulbs??!!! How dare you! Obama IS the light!
None, CNN does it for him.
ROTFL!
LOLOL!!!! Now that’s funny!!
Sadly, I chuckled, too.
Aside from Sarah, this entire campaign year (or two or three) has been a joke.
Morning chuckles, cool. :O)
how about Obama holds the light bulb and Biden drinks till the room spins...
Here are a few more:
How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
Light bulbs? What are you, some kind of racist?
Seven. One to rotate the bulb and six to investigate whether Sarah Palin’s daughter did it with the lights on or off.
Nobody can tell how many. He just keeps voting ‘present’ every time we ask him to change the bulb.
It takes an entire community to change a light bulb. Obama merely organizes them.
Zero. Barack Obama will require you to change the light bulb. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism about changing light bulbs. That you put down your divisions about what type of light bulb to use. That you come out of your isolation, that you move out of your room with only one light bulb. That you push yourselves to be better light bulb changers. And that you engage your socket. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed, and unlit.
Did you notice how Sarah Palin kept referring to McCain as John S. McCain during her speech at the Republican convention? This bewildered conservatives who always thought his middle name was “effing.”
LOL!!!!
Bump
Don’t get it.
One knows when life begins.
Its above the other's pay grade!
Oh hardihar, thank you all so much for the great laugh. Think I’ll take these down to the Republican booth this weekend and pass them out. That should get the Obama folks edgey. Maybe I can read some out loud from our booth. hahahah.
I’ll email these to 1000 of my trucking associates and friends. By the weekend you won’t be able to drive past a truck stop without hearing them on a CB. LOL
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