Skip to comments.
Man struck by sausage, but evidence eaten
Press Democrat ^
| Sunday, September 7, 2008
| LOUIS GALVAN
Posted on 09/08/2008 12:03:33 AM PDT by Hetty_Fauxvert
FRESNO -- A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.
Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.
Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.
"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.
Arrested was Antonio Vasquez, 22, of Fresno.
Burrimond said deputies were dispatched to the victims' home shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.
The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.
Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.
After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.
Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.
"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said. "I tell you, this was one weird case."
TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: assault; bizarre; burglar; freepun; sausage
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-55 next last
I think the only thing stranger than this story is the fact that when I did a search here on FR for an earlier posting, a whole slew of sausage stories came up! Who knew sausage and crime go together so well?
To: Hetty_Fauxvert
He was just doing his version of the Fish Slap Dance.
2
posted on
09/08/2008 12:07:18 AM PDT
by
Dumpster Baby
( They told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated)
To: Hetty_Fauxvert
The victims, both farmworkers [...] Likely being the victims that Americans won't be. ;-)
3
posted on
09/08/2008 12:08:08 AM PDT
by
Gondring
(I'll give up my right to die when hell freezes over my dead body!)
To: Hetty_Fauxvert
FRESNO -- A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to,,, Sorry, I thought this story was going somewhere else.
I do remember a woman who killed her hubby with a frozen salmon.
4
posted on
09/08/2008 12:09:11 AM PDT
by
Hugin
(Mecca delenda est!)
To: Hetty_Fauxvert
When I think of the recovery of the evidence, I think of Tommy Chong.
5
posted on
09/08/2008 12:10:30 AM PDT
by
squidly
To: Hetty_Fauxvert
"A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out of the house."
Man, Olberman's not taking his demotion well...
6
posted on
09/08/2008 12:12:09 AM PDT
by
DemforBush
(Palin! Palin! Palin!)
To: DemforBush
If Olberdouche is 8 inches, I’ll eat my own sausage.
7
posted on
09/08/2008 12:15:19 AM PDT
by
fieldmarshaldj
(~"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps !"~~)
To: DemforBush
To: Hetty_Fauxvert; aculeus; Billthedrill; Ezekiel; Larry Lucido; Constitution Day; martin_fierro; ...
... rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out of the house ...You could not make it up, even here in the back of beyond.
9
posted on
09/08/2008 12:18:09 AM PDT
by
dighton
To: Hetty_Fauxvert
Three men and a sausage...
To: dighton
This is just hilarious. Can you imagine being the officer having to write up the report on this?
11
posted on
09/08/2008 12:38:05 AM PDT
by
milagro
To: The Spirit Of Allegiance
All for pun and pun for all ping.
I hope he was hit with an 8 inch sausage and not something else.
To: Hetty_Fauxvert
Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime. I'll bet the police grilled the suspect on this sausage caper.
13
posted on
09/08/2008 12:42:55 AM PDT
by
6SJ7
To: milagro
Possible material for a SNL skit, spoofing one of the CSI shows.
14
posted on
09/08/2008 12:45:08 AM PDT
by
milagro
To: milagro
Just how DRUNK does one have to get to be able to perform in this theatre?
Now if there were a cauldron of boiling water in the background, this would all be perfectly sensible.
15
posted on
09/08/2008 12:46:44 AM PDT
by
xrmusn
( True gun control is hitting what you aim at.)
To: Hetty_Fauxvert; Alex Murphy; Larry Lucido
Perhaps an underling of the grounds keeper ate it?
16
posted on
09/08/2008 12:49:18 AM PDT
by
Gamecock
To: dighton; Hetty_Fauxvert; aculeus; Billthedrill; Lijahsbubbe; Larry Lucido; Constitution Day; ...
A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage He must have been casing the joint. Wurst caper ever.
17
posted on
09/08/2008 12:53:47 AM PDT
by
Ezekiel
(Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.)
To: Ezekiel
Mr. Burglar, America is dying to know, do you prefer spicy or mild?
To: Ezekiel
Maybe his children are brats.
19
posted on
09/08/2008 2:43:13 AM PDT
by
SteelCurtain_SSN720
(If you pass the rabid child, say "hammer down" for me)
To: SteelCurtain_SSN720; dighton; aculeus; Lijahsbubbe; null and void; DainBramage
Maybe his children are brats. Ding Ding Ding!
We have a wiener!
20
posted on
09/08/2008 2:59:23 AM PDT
by
Ezekiel
(Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-55 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson