Biden Prepares 50,000-Word Acceptance Speech

Borotowitz Report ^ | August 19, 2008 | Andy Borowitz

[rightwingintelligentsia]

In an indication that he expects to be Barack Obama's vice-presidential pick, Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del) has begun writing a 50,000-word acceptance speech, aides to the senator confirmed today.

The address, which Mr. Biden has been working on around the clock, is an abridged version of a 200,000-word acceptance speech that Mr. Biden wrote when he ran for President in 1988.

According to those familiar with the speech, if Mr. Biden is tapped as Mr. Obama's vice presidential choice the Delaware senator would begin delivering the speech on Wednesday night of the Democratic convention and conclude it on Thursday night.

Representatives of television news divisions said they were undecided as to how to cover the Biden speech, but none were willing to commit to covering the speech live in its entirety.

[rightwingintelligentsia]

Don't know much about this Borowitz guy, but this story was linked to an election article on the BBC.

[Crimson Elephant]

It should read: Biden is cutting and pasting his speech.

[null and void]

Liberals never tire of hearing their own voices...

[Melinda]

Sure is a lot of satire being thrown around FR lately.

[Koblenz]

Luckily for Biden, a 50,000 word speech is quite a bit easier now than it was in 1988, because with the internet, you can just highlight, copy and paste the speech you want, and you don’t have to have your secretary transcribe it.

[Constitution Day]

LOL!

When I saw the headline, I thought this was a real news article.

[Red Steel]

Liberals never tire of hearing their own voices...

Especially Biden the bloviator.

[rightwingintelligentsia]

I have to confess, so did I, until I read it again.

[Corin Stormhands]

In an indication that he expects to be Barack Obama's vice-presidential pick, Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del) has begun writing a 50,000-word acceptance speech

ctrl+c
ctrl+v

ctrl+c
ctrl+v

ctrl+c
ctrl+v

[End Times Sentinel]

Now THAT’s Good Humor!

[pipecorp]

Actually its only 49,999....he had tumor removed.

[Road Warrior ‘04]

Biden’s speech, if it really happens, will be shorter than his questions, err, pontifications, in Senate hearings.

[JenB]

Oooh, new idea for National Novel Writing Month....

[Constitution Day]

LOL!

[Red Badger]

Fourscore and seven years ago, it was the worst of times it was the best of times. I asked not what we had to fear, but waht fear could do for our country! ..................

[Khepri]

Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh Um uh er uh uhmmm errr racisn in every corner ummm uh er ummmm uh

[Abathar]

"According to those familiar with the speech, if Mr. Biden is tapped as Mr. Obama's vice presidential choice the Delaware senator would begin delivering the speech on Wednesday night of the Democratic convention and conclude it on Thursday night."

*snicker* It does have a ring of truth to it, that's why people are doing the double take...

[lormand]

PLEASE LET IT BE BIDEN!!!

This will be the golden age of gaffes if Biden gets the nod.

[pepperhead]

He should just plagiarize Edwards or some other former democrat VP’s speech. We know he wants to.

[muawiyah]

The 50 K length of the thing got me laughing. That would be a heck of a speech for anyone, and then I remembered that Biden was a class A plaigerist ~ he’d just take the last three days of the UK’s Parliament’s floor debates for a start, then C&P a couple of chapters out of Revelation to it.