Posted on 05/07/2008 8:37:27 AM PDT by LikeLight
Are you a joyful bride-to-be? An eager (or nervous!) groom? Perhaps you have a son or daughter getting married this spring or summer? Perhaps a beloved grandchild? Or maybe a lifelong friend? The peak of wedding season is arriving and many of us have a special acquaintance or family member ready to “tie the knot” in a beautiful marriage ceremony of thrilling romance and holy commitment.
So what does any of this have to do with the law? Why am I raising the subject of weddings in my Christian legal column? I’m writing to brides and grooms and those close to them because I want to encourage you to build the strongest possible marriage from the beginning, a marriage built on the solid foundation of God and His Word. And I’m writing because I want to encourage you not to weaken or undermine that sacred foundation by relying on destructive legal “worldly wisdom” that commonly advises you not to get married without first entering a pre-nuptial agreement.
[snip]
In an era of frequent marital break-ups and complex family structures, our cynical culture and most secular lawyers portray anyone getting married without a pre-nup as either foolish or naive. Before the wedding day, we are warned, wise couples should agree in writing what will happen if and when the marriage dissolves. But is there something wrong with this pessimistic advice? Should Christians begin their sacred marriage relationship as if it were just another business deal? Is it healthy for a husband and wife to be forced into negotiating against one another as legal adversaries, each with their own attorneys, in the days or weeks before they are joined as “one flesh” in the eyes of God?
[snip]
(Excerpt) Read more at goodnewsdaily.net ...
You’ll have to forgive me, since my whole worldview is dominated by the Old and New Testaments. I can take a simple conversation to Heaven and Hell in a heartbeat!
I see your point and agree.
As you and Dave Ramsey say, a symptom of distrust. Or sometimes, a symptom of disinterest. But either way, seldom a good sign for the health of the marriage relationship.
But what if, at the outset of their marriage, they had cared enough for their relationship and resulting offspring to prevent financial incentive to divorce?
Unless you know something for certain, how are we to know that the subject was not brought up and dismissed? Until prenups become the norm instead of the exception, couples will always be reticent in broaching the subject or in agreeing to enter into prenups.
I also wonder if she thought that she wasn't getting enough in a prenup would she do the same thing as she is doing now? Prenup are only as good as our ability to read the future.
Thanks to Feminism there so much "free milk" available, why would ANY guy "buy the cow"?
Well there are no new sins, just a new group of people doing them....as my friend used to say..lol
The bible does say that in 2Timothy 3:1-5 “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, withut love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutual, not lovers of good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” (NIV)
It sounds about right for today.
I just didn't realize her first name was "Always"!
Perfectly stated.
Dude, the most powerful phrase we can ever utter as husbands is..."Honey, I was wrong."
(and, no, I don't use it nearly enough myself - it's a tough one for us guys to get out)
“Thanks to Feminism there so much “free milk” available, why would ANY guy “buy the cow”? “
Worse thing is that when you ‘buy the cow’, there is no longer any milk.
“I also wonder if she thought that she wasn’t getting enough in a prenup would she do the same thing as she is doing now? Prenup are only as good as our ability to read the future.”
Good point, though I figure a fair prenup is easier to write early on when everything’s copacetic. Maybe, since our courts are often drawn into divorces where it comes down to he-said/she-said, a prenup option should be offered with the license.
As to those 2 in particular, they began with equal potential: Bright, ambitious, hard-working, interested in continual professional improvement. Now she’s a different person, the last I would have predicted to hurt her children in a campaign of destruction against her spouse.
Stinkin thinkin. Marriage is like any other education. You get out of it what you put into it.
My husband and I have “seperate” checking accounts. We do all our banking online. Automatic transfers into and out of various accounts. We can move money between accounts manually in two minutes and both have access to all accounts (they are all accessed off a common page).
We use the seperate accounts for bookkeeping purposes. He has X amount in his every week for gas, lunches, etctera. I have Y amount for gas, groceries, what I need. That way I know that when I go to the store for a loaf of bread, I’ve got ten bucks in the account. No waiting a day or two for the charges to show up.
So I don’t really think of them as seperate accounts. Both our names are on all our accounts. It’s just for bookkeeping. Now, when we were doing premarital counseling, there were a ton of couples who were planning on keeping their finances entirely seperate - “his” and “her” bills, paychecks, accounts, everything. That’s stupid. Not much of a partnership there.
That’s how I feel too, but our kids do it and it apparently is working. I’ll ask again in Nov. after their first year together.
That's the key, because you both "own" the accounts and the information is transparent to both of you. The trouble usually comes when one spouse starts doing things with separate accounts not visible to or accessible by the other.
That’s mighty romantic of you, Henry Beecher. But women who won’t sign pre-nups will be more likely destined for being passed around by the least knowledgeable peasant men or for spinster-hood.
*sniff* I look down my nose at you weaklings.
My question is this: Was it the money that caused her change in behavior? Or would it have happened naturally over time.
Would he want to live with a woman like this whose behavior was just “suppressed” by a pre-nup? To me, that’s like saying, “Yeah, I can live with the monster in the basement as long as I keep it chained up and throw it a steak every other night”.
I do feel for your friend however. That’s a terrible situation that he and their children have been placed in. If this woman cannot see what she is doing to her children and a fellow human being (her husband) then I feel for whichever man enters her life in the future.
You know what the weird and scary thing is? Some guy will fall for her even after hearing this story and meeting her ex-husband!
What a sweet, beautiful, and wise post!
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