Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Gottlieb's advice to women to be realistic in their expectations is good. I think she leaves out the fact that some women who stay single have inflated opinions of themselves, so that what they think of as "settling" is really just marrying someone of the same caliber. Gottlieb also underestimates how romantic many married couples are. For one thing, studies have shown they have better sex lives than single people.
1 posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:07 AM PST by reaganaut1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies ]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-53 next last
To: reaganaut1
... studies have shown they have better sex lives than single people.

Well, they do get it more often.

2 posted on 02/14/2008 6:29:39 AM PST by Ken522
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

As a rule I try to read the articles,but four pages of that drivel,no thanks...


3 posted on 02/14/2008 6:30:28 AM PST by GQuagmire (Giggety,Giggety,Giggety)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

The seldom talked about real issue here is that of “marrying up.” In our culture, for many centuries most women could marry up, to a man who was of higher social and economic status. This was because both the bottom and the top of the male ladder were higher than the female ladder.

Women demanded equality and got it. Now there are very few men available for the women at the top of the female status ladder. Meanwhile, many high status men are still quite happy “marrying down,” reducing the pickings for high-status females even more.

It seems most high-status females have reacted by getting POed at life in general and men in particular, rather than recognizing that they must reorder their priorities.


5 posted on 02/14/2008 6:31:55 AM PST by Sherman Logan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

It would be best if these women hadn’t been taught in today’s educational system that

there is no objective standard (which there is)

so that they could not “settle” for “good enough”, but have a fixed yardstick by which to measure their potential mate.

If women were MORE choosy (about whom they marry, choose to have kids with, etc), men would have to have better character.


6 posted on 02/14/2008 6:32:46 AM PST by MrB (You can't reason people out of a position that they didn't use reason to get into in the first place)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

We have three children ranging from 16 to 9. We have spent the last three nights getting Valentine’s day candies and cards together to hand out at school and about 4 hours baking last night cupcakes and cookies for “boyfriends”.

We did it as a family - it is what the story misses - really what a family is by simply doing the little things that bond everyone together.

You don’t need to settle if you’re worth having. The secret is to live your life and value system to be worth having.


9 posted on 02/14/2008 6:35:20 AM PST by edcoil (Go Great in 08 ... Slide into 09)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

Too many times it’s thought of as the bride settling. Could be the groom is as well.

That said, halitosis is gross.


10 posted on 02/14/2008 6:35:44 AM PST by mtbopfuyn (The fence is "absolutely not the answer" - Gov. Rick Perry (R, TX))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

I’ve been married nearly 17 years so I’m a little out of the loop. However, via living vicariously thru friends I’ve seen that many of the folks who are single at this age for a reason. Some have horrendous personal habits, over inflated ego’s, or are unwilling to make any changes to their lives for the sake of a relationship.


11 posted on 02/14/2008 6:36:16 AM PST by driftdiver
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

How many men have settled for Miss “Oh my God I’ll never drink again”?


12 posted on 02/14/2008 6:36:53 AM PST by Non-Sequitur (Save Fredericksburg. Support CVBT.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1
For one thing, studies have shown they have better sex lives than single people.

It degrades over time.

When we were first married, it was sex 3 or 4 times a day.
After a year it was sex 3 or 4 times a week.
After 5 years it was sex 3 or 4 times a month.
Now that we are 10 years along it's sex 3 or 4 times a year, and even then I need to make an appointment. - Anonymous

15 posted on 02/14/2008 6:38:05 AM PST by Pistolshot (Remember, no matter how bad your life is, someone is watching and enjoying your suffering.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

Another thing to consider:

I’m a VERY independent woman and have, and most likely always will, make my own living in this world. The idea of being less than an equal partner with my husband doesn’t appeal to me in the least. However, it occurred to me early on that I couldn’t have everything I wanted at the same time.

So, I had my career, then I married and gained an instant family (three young boys!) late, at age 35.

What women fail to realize is that we CAN have it all...just not ALL AT ONCE.

And I married “down” to a guy fresh out of college (he started late, too) with only a few years of work under his belt at the time. My military career would be ending when I was 37 and I had my twenty. Helping him in his career and taking care of the Home Front while HE succeeded was very satisfying, and he greatly appreciated it. It was a good balance. :)


17 posted on 02/14/2008 6:39:12 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1
The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough

Oh, for Ghu's sake, not another McCain thread....

20 posted on 02/14/2008 6:40:17 AM PST by steve-b (Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. --RAH)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, but when asked how our marriage has done so well (coming up on 25 years of marriage, 20 years of wedded bliss), I always say: Don’t marry the person you think you could spend the rest of your life with. Marry the person you could not spend the rest of your life WITHOUT. I did that. (And, of course, it goes without saying that babies ought to FOLLOW marriage, not precede it.— Just my opinion, but in this case, the correct one.)


23 posted on 02/14/2008 6:43:17 AM PST by NCLaw441
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

Reading the headline, I assumed this to be a pro-McCain piece.


25 posted on 02/14/2008 6:47:45 AM PST by NY.SS-Bar9 (DR #1692)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

I think the problem is not that women have expectations that are too high; I think their expectations are just all off. If you’re expecting a guy with a trust fund, looks like a movie star, and the romantic qualities of a fictional character, you’ll be disappointed.

Having a long list of qualities you’re looking for in a spouse and then not settling is good. I had a long list. It had lots of weird things on it (Christian, conservative, homeschool friendly, likes anime, geekier than me) but I found an awesome guy who met all my requirements and more.

I met him on FreeRepublic!


27 posted on 02/14/2008 6:48:31 AM PST by JenB
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1
People underestimate how set-in-their-ways they will become, and rather how quickly it will happen. It makes all of life's decisions a bit harder, the older you get.

Waiting to long to marry and raise kids is an option, but it comes with more heartache than is necessary, IMO. Life's short...

28 posted on 02/14/2008 6:48:59 AM PST by JoanVarga ("¿Por qué no te calles?")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

Another thing Gottlieb is missing in its entirety is the War on Men. We’ve learned NOT to get married and NOT to make babies because of the utter ruin we’ve seen male friends go through when they marry, have kids, get cheated on or otherwise dumped, get divorced, get almost no custody rights, and get financially crippling alimony and support payments.

Sorry, but by and large, marriage in my generation is seen as a suckers’ game for men...


31 posted on 02/14/2008 6:53:53 AM PST by piytar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

Gottlieb is typical of the kind of liberal feminist women who thought they knew it all but in reality didn’t. Femi-nazis thought they could rewrite human nature...in fact they didn’t believe in human nature. But when Gloria Steinum got married, I guess fish started riding bicycles.


32 posted on 02/14/2008 6:54:44 AM PST by driftless2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1; Malacoda; Mamzelle; MitchellC; oldteen; coop71; timm22; Hildy; HairOfTheDog; ...
Seems we have an inflated opinion of ourselves if we wait for love and like our own company ;)


41 posted on 02/14/2008 7:09:08 AM PST by najida (I am so grateful that stupid isn't contagious.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1

My advise to single women who want to find a mate...don’t have bastard children.

No self respecting man wants to provide for the progeny of another. He won’t love the progeny of another the way that he loves his own. He won’t make the sacrifices for the progeny of another the way he will for his own.

You want stability...don’t marry a man who has children with another woman.


50 posted on 02/14/2008 7:22:00 AM PST by Ouderkirk (Hillary = Senator Incitatus, Clintigula's whore...er, horse.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: reaganaut1
For one thing, studies have shown they have better sex lives than single people.

Depressing thought, isn't it...

52 posted on 02/14/2008 7:22:26 AM PST by Philistone (If someone tells you it's for the children, he believes that YOU are a child.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-53 next last

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson