Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..........
Nealz Nuze ^ | January 20, 2007 | Neal Boortz

Posted on 01/30/2008 10:33:35 AM PST by Turret Gunner A20

YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..........

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

It seems to me that a lot of these things apply to much more than the Taliban.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: cave; islam; taliban
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-33 last
To: camle

No problem!!


21 posted on 01/30/2008 11:08:48 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (RIP Eric Medlen. You will be missed.../ Get well Soon John Force!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20

You think fly are a normal condiment to your food...


22 posted on 01/30/2008 11:10:54 AM PST by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are sober people in Africa!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20
You may be Taliban if you know that the American Democrats are on your side.......and you can't wait to take over the US so you can kill them.
23 posted on 01/30/2008 11:11:02 AM PST by vetvetdoug
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Red Badger

13. You think Helen Thomas and Madeline Allbright are “hotties”...............

_____________________________________

They are still virgins aren’t they?


24 posted on 01/30/2008 11:11:43 AM PST by JoshM99
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20
If you go up to Abdul and ask him "Is that a stick of dynomite in your pants or are you glad to see me?"

Thar's ur sign.....

25 posted on 01/30/2008 11:13:19 AM PST by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are sober people in Africa!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: JoshM99

If they aren’t, somebody had a really bad jones.........


26 posted on 01/30/2008 11:13:56 AM PST by Red Badger ( We don't have science, but we do have consensus.......)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20
You have at least two nominees running for Prez of the USA:

Hillary the witch Klinton &

Osama "I ain't a muzzie no mo" Obama

27 posted on 01/30/2008 11:14:56 AM PST by RetiredArmy (America wants socialism. It wants it all for free. It wants the government to provide all.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

Mohammed has two vests. He has an AK-47, an RPG and a handgun. He has two pairs of explosive shoes. How many different combinations of accessories does he have altogether?

28 posted on 01/30/2008 11:43:27 AM PST by ModelBreaker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20
If this is your idea of a CD...

You just might be a Taliban.

29 posted on 01/30/2008 1:33:18 PM PST by SlowBoat407 (Just how will wrecking the U.S. economy save the planet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20

Good stuff riiiight there.


30 posted on 01/30/2008 1:36:29 PM PST by ßuddaßudd (7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20

YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF......... your name is Mohammed.


31 posted on 01/30/2008 3:26:55 PM PST by TexasRepublic (Islam is a mental disorder)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Turret Gunner A20

You’re born and educated in Marin County.


32 posted on 01/30/2008 4:39:04 PM PST by purpleraine
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: AdmSmith; Berosus; Convert from ECUSA; dervish; Ernest_at_the_Beach; Fred Nerks; george76; ...

The topic is from a year ago; I went looking for it because I rec’d a somewhat different version in a viral email. :’) Here’s something newer:

Old Jews Telling Jokes
Jewish World Review | May 27 2009 | Richard Z Chesnoff
Posted on 05/27/2009 7:00:52 AM PDT by Milhous
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2259012/posts

and here’s the version I rec’d the other day:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/bloggers/2257627/posts?page=3#3


33 posted on 05/27/2009 2:02:56 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/____________________ Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-33 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson