Posted on 01/27/2008 2:23:54 PM PST by Bubba_Leroy
Hillary Sends Bill on Campaign Trip to Antarctica Will Remain There Until Convention, Aides Confirm
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton has sent her husband, former President Bill Clinton, on a “special campaign trip” to Antarctica that could last “six or seven months,” Clinton aides confirmed today.
“From here on in, Bill is going to be our man in Antarctica,” said top Clinton strategist Mark Penn. “We have sent him down there with enough food and firewood to last until the Democratic convention this summer.”
The unexpected change in the former president’s itinerary happened just hours after Mrs. Clinton’s drubbing in the South Carolina primary, causing some party insiders to wonder if Mr. Clinton’s mission to Antarctica represented something of a demotion.
The decision to dispatch Mr. Clinton to the South Pole also raised eyebrows because the continent of Antarctica does not participate in the so-called “Super Tuesday” primaries on February 5 and sends no delegates to the Democratic National Convention.
Mr. Penn attempted to tamp down all such speculation, telling reporters, “This race isn’t about votes or delegates, it’s about land mass, frozen tundra and penguins.”
Mr. Clinton’s itinerary change comes on the heels of a controversial incident Saturday night in which he was discovered bound and gagged in the bathroom of Mrs. Clinton’s campaign plane, his hands tied by what appeared to be the jacket of a bright yellow pantsuit.
Speaking to reporters with a strip of duct tape still over his mouth, Mr. Clinton denied that he was being muzzled by the campaign, adding, “Mmmfff mghrmfff mmbrrfff.”
Elsewhere, the White House announced that President Bush’s State of the Union address would be simulcast in English.
Sorry perverted bastard, he will take Jesse with him, I guess.
Perhap Hillary could join him. Her mere presence should more than replenish the Ice Shelf.
Probably their bedroom.
Say What???
He'll take Her Thighness when he goes, I suspect both of them have a thick "If I should die or disappear under mysterious circumstances" file. It would explain their survival and their marriages longevity.
Oh, sorry, you meant to Antarctica.
‘I did not have relations with that penguin’
Although this is clearly satire, I bet that there is some friction behind the scenes at campaign HQ.
If only.
If only they were both going there on a permanent vacation.
Not necessarily.
This is great - thanks for posting!
Yikes. Emperor Penguins, lock up your daughters.
Fox News says that they will send Shepperd Smith to cover his trip.
If he isnt sidetracked by FEMA or the latest missing white girl saga.
Dress him in a tuxedo and maybe an orca will find hime palitable! Yum!
I wish Bill and Shepard would both go and stay off the air for a long time.
The Dems either are better organized than we think or they are getting sloppy with their phone lists. I got a call this afternoon with a recorded announcement asking me to turn out for “Hillary!” in Hartford tomorrow. I think not.
It would be easier to get rid of Bill by sending him on a brothel tour.
And Whorealdo.
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