Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.
This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.
Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"
The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.
Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."
I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.
You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.
2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."
The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.
3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.
We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.
Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.
4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.
Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.
And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.
5. You don't always have to be talking.
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.
6. Don't make us carry you through life.
We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.
Lastly,
When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.
I tell my wife that I love her all of the time. I also tell that to my kids. I always knew it from my parents, but they never said it until I was older.
My wife and I also fight. Not a lot. But we dont hide our disagreements. This is intentional. We want our kids to know that two people that love each other CAN disagree. We also want them to know that when someone gets mad, it doesnt mean the world is going to fall apart forever.
If the path were just a straight line of agreement life would really suck.
Try reading that to your wife. And try showing her those stupid pictures. Get back to me after you pick yourself up off the floor and your head wound heals.
Is there really a “Wimmen R Evil” ping list? While not a bitter person, I would like to get on that list.
I will think about what you have said. Scary thing is that these women have always been around my age.
Those thoughts cross my mind on occassions as well. Your wife is a very lucky woman.
I treat my spouse MUCH better than I treat my best friend.
That's a no brainer.
My spouse is in the house while I sleep and has access to sharp pointy things, ;^)
Besides that my best friend isn't NEAR as good looking as my spouse.
(Let's see, have I hit them all? Oh yeh...)
In addition, my best friend can only put itching powder in my underwear while I'm wearing them.
Sorry, Najida, I just couldn't resist. LOL
gen·der (jndr)
n.
1. Grammar
a. A grammatical category used in the classification of nouns, pronouns, adjectives, and, in some languages, verbs that may be arbitrary or based on characteristics such as sex or animacy and that determines agreement with or selection of modifiers, referents, or grammatical forms.
b. One category of such a set.
c. The classification of a word or grammatical form in such a category.
d. The distinguishing form or forms used.
2. Sexual identity, especially in relation to society or culture.
3.
a. The condition of being female or male; sex.
b. Females or males considered as a group: expressions used by one gender.
tr.v. gen·dered, gen·der·ing, gen·ders
To engender.
Disagreeing is one thing.
Being disagreeable is quite another.
And being constantly angry and bitter with each other is no way to live. Likewise, control-freakery, and mind-games ...
It’s my list,
I’ll add you to it (and actually start pinging folks too)
It’s not bitter, it’s just for balance and perspective really.
Thanks!
Please add me to your growing ping list...post 255 was supposed to be to you...but I am FReeping from my cell phone and this tiny screen isn’t my middle agd eyes best choice of font....aaaaarrrrrgh! PaMom
LOL. I think you’ve found just the ticket to achieve maximum results!
A Portrait of the Artist.
My husband says the same thing, basically, neither has a right to complain - just be a grownup and be responsible for whether the toilet seat is how YOU like it before using it.
The most terrifying, humbling, sickening, enlightening moment is when you find yourself involved with a monster, is realizing that something in you is a reflection or compliment to the monster.
You’re on it (golly, 3 new members just today).
I have to invoke Godwin’s Law ...
You Lose!
Last one was an Asian chick (I’m white) that I disposed of yesterday. Nice girl, pain in ass. She wasn’t worth it.
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