TO WOMEN: How to Build A lasting Relationship

Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.

This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.

Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.

Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:

The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.

Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"

The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."

I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.

You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.

2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."

The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.

3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.

We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.

Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.

Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.

And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.

Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.

We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.

When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.

OK
1. If a woman tells you about her day, her problems or her concerns, she doesn’t expect you to fix anything. She needs someone to hear her, that’s all. Just listen. Often it’s an act of verbal sorting and your giving an ear etc is the best thing you can do. Trying to come up with a solution or fix things will just frustrate you both.

2. Don’t act or even try to believe that housework is beneath you. Help is appreciated and goes a long way towards respect and trust. If you hate cleaning bathrooms, guess what, she hates it too. And nothing makes a woman turn off to sex quicker than a man who gets all frisky after she’s spent the last 2 hours before bedtime taking care off hearth and home. That just puts it into the ‘job’ catagory in her head.

3. Remember, women would rather have no sex at all than bad sex (and yes, we know, to men, there is no such thing as bad sex). And even more inversely, while you use sex to relax, she has to relax to enjoy sex. Just keep it in mind.

4. Have a job and keep it. Doesn’t have to be great or earth shaking. You don’t have to be Donald Trump. But a guy who has a steady job, who takes pride in his work, who pays his bills and is reliable is a very good thing.

5. Be faithful. It may be just sex to you, but to her, you’ve pretty much destroyed the relationship. She’d rather have you break it off than cheat on her.

6. Love your mother (and family in general). No, I’m not saying be a Mama’s boy, just how you treat your mother-— respect, thoughtfulness etc translates into how you’ll treat her and all women.

7. Give her postive feedback. Look, her world is almost nothing but negative put downs. Every magazine, TV show, commercial out there seems to tell her that her butt is too big, she’s too old and worthless, she weighs too much, her hair is too curly, her boobs are too small-— that she is nothing but one big mass of flaws to be fixed and totally worthless until they are fixed.

She doesn’t need to hear the same from you. So no, helpful remarks like “Maybe you need to loose a few pounds” is just another attack and lumps you in with those who don’t love her. Don’t lie, but damn, tell her about what you do love about her.

8. Give her her space. Yes, some women may be clingy, but there are just as many out there who like to just be left alone sometimes— to read a book, write a letter, just daydream. Don’t take it as rejection or she must have a boyfriend. Don’t keep calling upstairs to ask her what she’s doing. Don’t follow her in the bathroom while she’s soaking in the tub just to ‘see what she’s doing’. She’ll function a whole lot better if she’s allowed her hermit time.

9. LEAVE HER STUFF ALONE!!!! She’ll leave yours alone. She may collect cookbooks, shoes, dolls, arts supplies etc. You collect fishing lures, deer heads, feed & seed store caps etc. No one’s stuff has more value.

10. Don’t be selfish. I don’t know how else to put it, but if you go to get a glass of water, ask her if she’d like one. If you like having your back rubbed, offer to rub hers. If she’s sick, let her stay in bed while you take care of things. Women are trained to be givers, but it can wear on even the most noble of them.

Grego, that is PERFECT!!!!!!!!!

Now...if we could just find the husband who would take up the role that allows the wife the opportunity to "take her place."

We've screwed the family by telling the world that women "can do it all."

"You can bring home the bacon.
Fry it up in a pan;
And never let him forget
He's a man...cause you're a woman."

THAT IS BS.

Add to that the above-stated roles of "bacon winner," housewife, cook and "mistress"...the role of "mother;" and you're really spoilin' for failure; and the first thing to go is libido. (If the husband allows the wife to continue at this pace, "love" may follow libido out the door.)

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