Whatever the experts say. I’m so glad that I’ve raised mine and wouldn’t even consider doing it again in today’s society. It’s like running a race on a track full of tacks and nails with a crowd throwing beer bottles at you and finally being disqualified by crooked judges after you’ve won.
I work at a local YMCA, and some of the children are so poorly behaved. One child was throwing a screaming tantrum because he didn’t want to leave, simply lying on his back and screaming while his parent watched. A few minutes later, he was running around on the pool deck. I talked to him about it, and told the father what I had just said. The father said ‘Oh, he’s almost five, and I can’t get anything through to him.’ I was completely floored that a parent would allow a child that old to simply scream their head off in public without telling them to stop because he just assumed that his kid wouldn’t listen. The only thing I hate more is the occasional parent who tells the kids it’s OK to break the rules - just because you’re their parent doesn’t mean that you’re the absolute authority in this world.
...when parents create a household where the children cannot rely on them to say "no," or to set clear limits, the children lose a sense of safety, a sense of organization about the world around them, and the ability to experience and integrate the basic life lessons necessary for them to evolve into well-developed and mature adults.
What this child too often gains when parents indulge and overprotect ... is a profound sense of entitlement, a disregard for the needs of others, and an inability to put forth the genuine effort needed to develop — academically, socially, and emotionally.
Yes.
Next question...
When my nephew was little, my brother was wringing his hands about how to discipline him and still remain his “best friend.”
Our mother told him, “You’re not his friend, you’re his boss.”
Reminds me of a recent contest between classrooms at my kids’ school. My son’s class did not make the class goal and didn’t earn an ice cream party.
You wouldn’t believe the number of parents who complained! Even the principal wanted to buy them a big cookie so they wouldn’t feel left out. I told her that it was good she thought better of it and I would have been FURIOUS had they gotten a reward despite failing to reach the goal. I told her I didn’t want that message sent to my child.
You know, the kids weren’t nearly as upset at missing out as some of the parents!
“Child-centered parenting” has been a general disaster for the American family. The “parent-centered family” is a robust antidote. I recommend the approach and writings of psychologist John Rosemond for all those who wish to administer “vitamin N” to their little darlings.
It hasn’t.
This "future" is different from the present somehow?
Anyone who seriously tried to maintain the level of discipline with children common prior to the 1970s, today, would run afoul of the law and have their child taken away by the state. The only way to avoid this is to hermit in a very remote area and home school. Failing that, even if a parent maintains an exemplary household - for example, no TV, only heavily supervised computer use, non materialistic living, etc, they would not be able to prevent peer pressure and general societal rubbish from infecting their child. Also, if they tried to maintain the selective use of coporal punishment, in most states that would be grounds for intervention by child protective services. Until / unless liberalism and cultural rot gets overturn, trying to raise children other than the hermit / home school method I mentioned, is an exercise in futility. The Suicide of the West.