Why I Left My Beta Husband

MSN Lifestyle ^ | August 2007 | Amy Brayfield

[Caipirabob]

A few years ago, my husband, Mark, and I were at one of those hip downtown restaurants sipping mojitos and nibbling on lime-spiked seviche when one of my bosses appeared from a cloud of Cuban-cigar smoke and patted my shoulder. When I introduced him to Mark, he naturally asked what he did for a living. We both froze.

"I do some freelancing," Mark said.

"He studied film at NYU," I said at the same time.

Mark looked at me and shrugged. "I stay home with our daughter," he said, as my colleague quietly balked.

"He makes it possible for me to do my job," I said, laughing. But inside, I was mortified. Technically, I had it all back then, including a gorgeous toddler and a cool job.

What I didn't have was a husband I felt proud of.

[Drew68]

There are actually quite a few jobs in film making in NYC. You just have to be willing to fetch dry cleaning and coffee for a couple of years.

Of course, most of the people employed in these "gopher" jobs landed them because they knew somebody who knew somebody, not because they went to film school.

If this guy wants to be a film maker. He needs to be spending his days MAKING MOVIES!!! Yes, you start small, use your friends, upload them on youtube, claw your way into festivals, etc. You need to be hungry!!!

This guy clearly isn't. He expects one to fall into his lap while he sits at home doing absolutely nothing.

Can't say I blame his ambitious wife for dumping him.

[HamiltonJay]

She is cute and in shape but her standards are pretty high compared to her situation.

This is the reason honestly many women remain single IMHO.

While cute, and even if they aren't psychotic, they are remotely unrealistic in their expectations. While they may be a 7 they act like they are a 10 or they may have kids from a previous marriage etc, and expect the GQ model to walk into their lives, and pass over normal guys because they aren't attractive enough, or bald, or too fat, or too small of a wallet.

So, when they do date, they make the same mistakes that you'd expect from a teenager new to the game, and the guys treat em like crap and then they whine that no decent guys are out there.

I see this time and again with women I know. I'll even tell them up front, after I meet their latest beau, and see what an abject ass he is, when she's not around, and they'll just ignore my advice.

[durasell]

Anyone can pretty much get a gopher job. You have to start at the bottom. Here’s where the bottom begins:

http://www.locationcontrol.com/

[Thrownatbirth]

I can sing every word of every song on 12 albums, but don’t ask me to decipher them. :-)

[Xenalyte]

Oh, I’m happily married. Xena’s Guy is the best husband I could have ever hoped for - someone who cheerfully tolerates my eccentricities, calms me down when I’m overexcited, and grounds me in reality.

However, when I was single, my criteria were what a buddy of mine calls the Three Tions (pronounced “shuns”): occupaTION, transportaTION, habitaTION.

[xsmommy]

how about dentition? you know...teef? ; )

[stevio]

You even got a shot from Mad Max(All time favorite movie) on your profile page. Cool, I got your back here at FR. ;^)

[swain_forkbeard]

Why shaking your head? Why surprised?

She was the successful one, and when she got sick of her husband, she traded him in for a newer model. That’s all.

Successful men do it all the time. All the self-awareness this, self-actualization that, talk is just a smokescreen.

[Politicalmom]

Sure, the little girl is just an accessory, so her feelings don’t matter.

[swain_forkbeard]

It’s a drink that’s drunk by women and by the kind of men who keep house and then get dumped.

[Drew68]

Anyone can pretty much get a gopher job. You have to start at the bottom. Here’s where the bottom begins:

Interesting site! I've always thought that a cool job in the film industry would be as an armorer and/or explosive handler. I wonder if my Navy ordnance training would come in useful?

Not that I'm seriously considering it.

[subterfuge]

I imagined being married to, well, someone like me. Someone whose job sounds interesting to other people. Someone who walks out the door with a pressed shirt on, a leather briefcase, and a confident gait. Someone who wins bread. Does that make me a sexist?

DOES that make you a sexist Amy? No, it makes you a narcissist.

[writmeister]

Exactly.

She has no respect for the sacrifices her ex-husband made so that she could have her career. I would suspect that it is a little hard to claw your way into the film industry when you are caring for a small child.

[subterfuge]

So nobody was more surprised than I was when I went ahead and fell for another stay-at-home dad.

I'd wager a months pay she was the ONLY one surprised.

[goldstategop]

A woman doesn't want to be the man in the relationship. A man who is overly feminine makes a woman feel like he's not the man he should be who can make her feel like a woman. So in our time, we're painfully relearning the lesson that Nature reasserts itself with a vengeance. That for all of women's talk about equality, there are times they still want a man to make them feel safe and secure, to use an old-fashioned politically incorrect expression, to dominate the relationship. And you know where that put the NOW NAG GALS - on the Man Free Island!

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

[mysterio]

So she had the guy stay home with the kid and then left him for it and wrote an article about how much she enjoys sex with the stay at home man she replaced him with.

Mark should sue her fickle ass.

[goldstategop]

Why did she get divorced if she wanted a more traditional kind of man? Its hard for men to know what women want and sometimes its damn impossible to please them when the women themselves don't know what they want a man to do for them.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

[Calpernia]

>>>AmericanWomenSuck

real nice

[Xenalyte]

Oh, teefus is a must. Nice ones only, please - I have VERY high standards in regard to dental aesthetics.

[durasell]

Yeah, that’s a job. Anything with movies tend to be jobs where you might earn $200,000 one year and $20,000 the next.

I remember talking to one guy who graduated film school who said, “I love movies, but not that much.” He sells high end office furniture now and couldn’t be happier.