Posted on 05/19/2007 7:31:38 AM PDT by Congressman Billybob
There are certain categories of ads on TV which offend me, and no doubt you, whenever they appear. There are the impotence ads. (Known as “E.D.” to its friends.) Plus the constipation/diarrhea ads. Plus the mobility (scooter) ads. The implication is that older men can’t get it up, can’t get it out, or can’t get it moving. Throw in the Alzheimer ads, and we can’t remember whether we’ve done any of that.
I say “we” because all these annoying ads are my fault. Yes, mine, and I apologize.
Yes, I am falling apart. It was only a month ago that I found out that gout is not an ancient disease that was wiped out shortly after Ben Franklin died. It’s a modern disease, with about the pain level of dropping a one gallon can of paint on your toes. Repeatedly. On both feet.
Fortunately, gout is also highly treatable and disappears entirely. That’s good, because both of my regular doctors are fellow sufferers, and therefore highly sympathetic. But that’s not the reason these ads are my fault.
When you go into Burger King or whatever, do you pay attention to the canned music playing in the background? It’s all generic; they pour syrup on the music and the instruments, so the result is non-offensive. With a little work, you can figure out what classic tunes are being kicked while they are down.
No matter where you go, most generic music is stuck in the sixties, with touches of the late fifties and early seventies. And all that musical boredom is also my fault. Sorry about that.
Advertising goes where the money is – of course. And people who are on the slippery slope to high-stakes bingo and budget cruise ships, spend more money per head than anyone else, because we are coming apart at the seams. But most important, there are more of us than any other demographic group.
I’m at the leading edge of the Baby Boomers. Sometimes, the definition of us starts at the end of WW II. Other times it is more generous, and includes me by adding all who were born during that War.
Think back to kindergarten. The kids whose names started with “A” always got the cold milk and the unbroken cookies. Well, that’s the way it has been for Baby Boomers every year since we first started to have disposable income.
We are the rat in the demographic snake. From music, to movies, to all forms of communication, our tastes have dominated over your tastes, regardless of which generation you’re in, other than ours. And now that we are falling apart absent chemical or surgical enhancement, these ads are the result.
I didn’t do this on purpose. And I didn’t do it alone. But all this is my fault. Right after a spate of ads for nursing homes and prosthetic parts, plus maybe a touch of elaborate funeral homes, we’ll be out of here and y’all can get the popular culture back.
Personally, I’m stubborn. I intend to stick around and see what comes next. Give it your best shot. I promise to be patient, and tolerant. Starting in about ten years.
Of course, there is the little matter that our retirement will destroy Social Security and bankrupt the US government. But that’s an apology for another day.
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About the Author: John Armor practiced in the US Supreme Court for 33 years. John_Armor@aya.yale.edu He lives in the 11th District of North Carolina.
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Again, there is nothing in the ad to suggest they are gay cavemen. Their mannerisms, style of dress and speech patterns are those of a certain type of heterosexual urban professional.
In that case, I've had a five day labor experience.
“Again, there is nothing in the ad to suggest they are gay cavemen. Their mannerisms, style of dress and speech patterns are those of a certain type of heterosexual urban professional.”
THAT is your opinion.
LOL!
You need to get out more - heterosexuals - no way - homosexuals are portrayed and in an unprofessional way. In a very childish way.
“Again, there is nothing in the ad to suggest they are gay cavemen. Their mannerisms, style of dress and speech patterns are those of a certain type of heterosexual urban professional.”
THAT is your opinion.
LOL!
You need to get out more - heterosexuals - no way - homosexuals are portrayed and in an unprofessional way. In a very childish way.
Maybe it's because the pain meds don't have the same effect on a kidney stone that they may have on a baby.
A) What is it in the ads that leads you to believe the cavemen are gay?
B) Would you be happy if they hired Larry the Cable Guy and the tagline went, So Easy, Even a Hick Can Do It.
A) What is it in the ads that leads you to believe the cavemen are gay?
B) Would you be happy if they hired Larry the Cable Guy and the tagline went, So Easy, Even a Hick Can Do It.
I’ve already mentioned why.
YOU need to GET A LIFE!
Enjoy perverted kindergarten humor.
Just don’t bother me about it.
My post was obviously intended to be humorous. Don't take the ball and run off the field.
The “bird in hand is worth two in the bush”!.
My Sister’s husband and his sister both got gout in their twenties.
I’ve heard women who get to compare say kidney stones are worse than labor. Lucky them, not.
Sorry, but it’s a subject that holds little humor for me. I ended up in an emergency room and put on morphine to pass a stone.
I’m sorry too Mr. Dole. But I really don’t think this confession is going to help you to run for President again. Get over it...
That's not the issue here, and I've been around here long enough that you should know better than to allege it. The issue is whether your reaction was over the top. I say it was because the Freeper in question was not promoting homosexuality or even making fun of it.
When someone says a commericail has a "flavor" of homosexuality and someone else asks what a homosexual tastes like, that's a play on the use of the word "flavor," not a celebration of anal sex. If you had said a commerical had a Carmen Miranda flavor and he had asked what Carmen Miranda tastes like, it would have been exactly the same thing. The reason you can't see that is because like far too many of my Christian brothers and sisters, you've had a funnybone-ectomy.
As for “male enhancement” - size isn’t everthing.
I really didn't need to know your opinion or experience in that area. What if I freaked out because you were talking about such a subject in this thread, and said you were promoting sexual perversion? After all, public promotion of one's private sex life certainly would strike some as having a "flavor" of perversion even if the sex itself wasn't perverted. Physician, get out that black bag and heal thyself.
I meant no offense, and to be quite frank I'm betting if I ever have a kidney stone I'll be making jokes about it. Heck, I tell jokes about how I got rushed to the ER for massive chest pain and the docs left me sitting in an exam room for three hours while I thought I was dying young. It was traumatic at the time but I make fun of my reaction and imagine what the doctors were off doing...
If I said Carman Miranda probably tasted fruity, would that open up the whole gay thing again?
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