Global Warming Proves Martians Drive SUV's

Oregon Magazine ^ | March 2007

[rhema]

In an email from we at Oregon Magazine recently learned the following:

Simultaneous warming on Earth and Mars suggests that our planet's recent climate changes have a natural-and not a human-induced-cause, according to one scientist's controversial theory. Mars, too, appears to be enjoying more mild and balmy temperatures. In 2005 data from NASA's Mars Global Surveyor and Odyssey missions revealed that the carbon dioxide "ice caps" near Mars's south pole had been diminishing for three summers in a row. Habibullo Abdussamatov, head of the St. Petersburg's Pulkovo Astronomical Observatory in Russia, says the Mars data is evidence that the current global warming on Earth is being caused by changes in the sun. "The long-term increase in solar irradiance is heating both Earth and Mars," he said.
--Kate Ravilious, National Geographic News, 28 February 2007

Clearly, Habibullo Abdussamatov is a fake name. Everybody who has seen Dr. Zhivago knows that there is no point to having astronomical observatories in Russia, since everybody there wears conical fur hats which would fall off if somebody looked up. And, since the weather is always freezing there, the description "russian astronomer" is an oxymoron. No hat, and it's adios senor to your living Russian in that northern freezereeno. Ask Napoleon's troops about that. Or Hitler's. You never leave home without your hat and your mittens in that country.

Add the above to the fact that former VP, Al Gore, heats one of his five or six family homes (the one with eight bathrooms) with Tennessee Valley Authority electricity generated by coal-fired generators, and simple logic leads one to the inescapable fact that Martians druve SUV's.

Any idiot could see it.

Since Al Gore and fifteen hundred scientists who wish to remain nameless agree with Nancy Pelosi, Ted Kennedy and all American communists that

[kromike]

Would somebody please send Gore, DiCaprio, Bono and any other relevant boneheads to Mars so that we can get a moment's peace?

[xcamel]

FReepmail me to get on or off

Click pn POGW graphic for full GW rundown

Ping me if you find one I've missed.

---

Great day for more humor...

[MamaB]

Just make sure they stay there.

[Caipirabob]

Ping!

I'll be sharing these with my son, too.

[mirkwood]

Global Warming Proves Martians Drive SUV's

[backhoe]

This sums up my take on it...

[mountainlyons]

So what caused the extreme temperature on Venus, Nuclear heating?

[Fred Nerks]

Since Al Gore and fifteen hundred scientists who wish to remain nameless agree with Nancy Pelosi, Ted Kennedy and all American communists that the fact that we here on Earth are between ice ages is not relevant to the question, and that any data suggesting solar influence on climate warming is right wing propaganda, one can only arrive at a single intellectual destination...

...that their combined 'carbon footprint' would probably be as high as that of an entire nation such as Senegal or Mali...

[Mongeaux]

Why would martians need SUV's when they have sweet rides like these:

[Wildbill22]

No, that would be 'nucular' heating. Come on, get the grammar right!

[angcat]

Thanks!

[DustyMoment]

The Martians probably have more "carbon credits" than either Gore or earth. I think they bought them on the Chicago Carbon Exchange from Pluto.

[DustyMoment]

The Martians probably have more "carbon credits" than either Gore or earth. I think they bought them on the Chicago Carbon Exchange from Pluto.

[SunkenCiv]

Venus' atmosphere is opaque to sunlight, despite its closer proximity to the Sun; nevertheless, a "greenhouse effect" has been claimed as the source of Venus' 480°C surface temp and 90x Earth atmospheres pressure. 60 per cent of arriving sunlight is reflected by the upper atmosphere's sulfur dioxide and sulfuric acid droplets, and no sunlight reaches the surface, which is lit by glow of the hot surface.

[SunkenCiv]

:')

[sig226]

Even if they return, they'll be gone for about twelve years. It will probably cost about a trillion dollars to send them there. I'm thinking it's worth it if Jimmah goes along to ensure that Martians have affordable housing.

[DustyMoment]

Ya know, I'm beginning to change my mind - I think I want Gore-The-Incredible-Hypocrite to run for president after all. I would LOVE to see the look on his face when he realizes that the only thing that he is going to get out of Hollyweird is the standing O and the gold statue they gave him for being as big a moron as they are.

But, when he announces, he can get Leonardo DiCaprio to be his VP. Together they can run on the Dumb and Dumber ticket and, when he isn't slobbering all over his boss, DiCaprio can stand around "looking, you know, all hard core and stuff."

[honolulugal]

[Jotmo]

My son was actually told, by a Scientist, in a discussion on Global Warming at school that the atmospheric conditions on Venus were proof that the same process is causing global warming here.

Venus has high concentrations of CO2. Venus is VERY hot. Therefore, CO2 causes global warming.

This is a private school, and the session was voluntary. I let him go in hopes that they would demonstrate their idiocy for him to learn from. They didn't disappoint.