Posted on 02/15/2007 12:28:40 PM PST by Rutles4Ever
In a culture where young women take pride in having guilt-free sex with partners they barely know, Nolan and Aparicio are rarities. They have genuine boyfriends, not hook ups.
"I don't know anyone else who's in a relationship, do you?" Nolan asks Aparicio. Nope, no one else.
Hooking up has come to define sexual relationships for most of today's teens and young women. It can mean anything from kissing and touching to oral sex or intercourse. Vagueness is its hallmark. "A girl can say, 'I hooked up with so-and-so,' and no one knows what she did. It protects you and makes you a player at the same time," says Aparicio, who admits to her share of high school hook ups.
---SNIP---
"The C-word, commitment, is the dirty word," Stepp says. "They see relationship as draining you of everything, most of all of your time: You'll have no time for yourself, your girlfriends, your studies, your sports..."
Aparicio says friends at home think she's weird to be in a monogamous relationship. Nolan's relationship is enough of an anomaly among her friends that she says, "Some of them are curious about it -- like it's something foreign."
Stepp is not prudish or unrealistic enough to call for an end to hook ups. "I want girls to stop and think about what they are doing, and where it's going to lead them," she says.
Neither Nolan nor Aparacio knows what the future holds for their relationships. Marriage? Probably not. Aparicio even admits that hook ups with no strings have some appeal. Not that she's looking to break up.
(Excerpt) Read more at boston.com ...
For years I've been drilling into the pretty little head of my seventeen year old daughter the cold, hard, realities and consequences of of "hooking up" and having sex with a guy who does not love her and has no intention of having anything to do with her other than as a sex partner.
I've had the opportunity to point to several of her female classmates that have "hooked up", only to be dumped by the guy afterward then ridiculed and treated with contempt by the guy and his friends.
I think I've gotten through, thankfully. I tell her to always ask herself when faced with a guy who's looking to "hook up": "What's in this for me"? The answer- nothing at all but heartbreak and embarrassment.
I get the impression that this is media people talking about other media people
_________
I really think they're talking about college students.
Shouldn't be long until other writers pick up on this and then maybe Shedonism will become the new "in" word.
Baseball trivia: Can you name the four baseball-playing Alou brothers?
Matty, Felipe, Jesus and ?
Boog Powell was actually the fourth Alou brother. He changed his name because he didn't want to be known as ....
Boog Alou!
Exactly - I started my sexual shenanigans in 1969. There were PLENTY enough promiscuous girls to go around back then. Remember - those were the days of "Free Love" and "Let it all hang out".
Boy, did we.
SHEDONISM: Why should HE have all the fun?
Nolan? Aparicio?
&&
Good grief! I guess I am dense, as I assumed that these were their last names.
I'll agree with that.
Because when you're young, your notion of love, romance, relationships, and the way to incorporate them into your life is terribly immature and naive. Just as whoring around can lead to future disaster, so can "settling down" with one person.
All I know is that it was sure a lot harder to "hook up" when I was in school - I'm a little envious, but at the same time disgusted.
I was just thinking that also. Sounds specious to me
I taught high school for quite a few years, and I am sorry to say that the teens I came into contact with were more likely to be sexually active than not.
Yes, of course, there were sexually active teens in the 1950s and the 1960s, when I was growing up. But these kids especially the girls) were in the minority, and they were not looked upon with tolerance, much less with the admiration they seem to experience today in many circles. A girl was expected to be a virgin when she married, and, most of the time, she would be. When a girl did lose her virginity before marriage it was more than likely to her boyfriend who then became her husband.
And that is why I think it is not so good of a thing to date many people when you are young. One needs to mature.
You don't think that maturity comes from experience in addition to age?
Well, I'm not going to say sex is not part of the teenage world, certainly it is.. but hardly is every kid in town getting action... Remember sex sells and sensationalism sells... so don't think that every kid is doing everything you see on TV.
Lots of good kids out there, just they won't put them on TV because no one would tune in to watch.
Shedonism
**
You are always so clever!
Well, I applaud your efforts. We have seven granddaughters and their parent's (our our) work is cut out, they are being raised traditionally but still, the whorelike atomosphere doesn't help.
Hooking up leads to guess what guys? Why, CHILD SUPPORT and DNA can sure figure out who the daddy is...go figure--DUH!
So enjoy the lifetime payments fellas! Not to mention like Giovanna says, heartbreak and embarrassment--and yes, it's still a factor.
The viewpoint changed with the pill.. like it or not, that's when things went from good girls don't to good girls do, but make sure they don't get pregnant.
That's just reality.
Of COURSE it's not healthy!! 'Hooking up' is a major reason that STD's are at an all time high, and the cause of an increase in instances of cervical and ovarian cancer in women who have had multiple sex partners.
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