Posted on 01/09/2007 3:03:21 PM PST by presidio9
If you think you’re the only parent struggling to rear an unruly child destined to become a careless member of the society, think again. Almost one-third of parents believe their disciplining styles are ineffective.
In a survey of more than 2,000 parents of children between the ages of 2 and 11, researchers for the first time examined four common ways of disciplining kids —“time-outs,” removal of privileges, yelling and spanking.
More than 45 percent of the parents reported using time-outs as a disciplinary action. Almost 42 percent removed their child’s privileges, followed by 13 percent who resorted to yelling and 9 percent who opted to spank their children, the researchers report in the January issue of the journal Clinical Pediatrics.
Almost 31 percent of participants reported they believed their methods were not effective, and more than 38 percent were using the same discipline methods their own parents used on them as a child.
“There was actually an inverse relationship between self-reports of yelling at children and perceived effectiveness of discipline,” said lead study author Shari Barkin, a physician at the Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt. “But we strongly suspect that both yelling and spanking might be underreported, because we know when parents perceive their methods are not working, as one-third reported, then emotions can quickly escalate,” she said.
Barkin and colleagues think pediatricians should address discipline when parents bring their children to the doctor’s office for visits.
“Discipline is a central element of what parents do every day, and it’s important to develop systems to support parents so that they can apply positive parenting to improve outcomes in children,” Barkin told LiveScience.com.
“In this study, we altered the manner in which we asked families about discipline," she explained. "This created a shared dialogue rather than a lecture."
Dear presidio9,
Although I have nothing against spanking in principle, neither my wife nor I have ever had to resort to it.
My two sons are joys, and, at ages 12 and 9, are pretty much self-disciplined by now, and need little more than occasional discipline, admonishment, and encouragement.
Folks have always remarked at their exemplary behavior.
sitetest
That takes effort - as you stated - applying consistent and transgression-appropriate consequences. It also means that discipline is an ongoing process - not just something applied when someone has done wrong, but educating constantly on the right way to do things as well.
We've had very few problems with our teens thus far, and the few times they've really messed up, in addition to loss of privledges, we required an essay stating what the problem was, why it was wrong and what they needed to do to set things right and go forward from there. Suggestions of future writing assignments seem to take care of the little things.
You should be BANNED from this forum for posting those photos!
Ahhhhhhh my eyes!!!!
Instant punishment, instand forgiveness after that punishment, no grudges... happy well behaved kids. Works for us...
Least effective: "removal of privileges"
I wanted the spanking as a child. It was over and done and I moved on to getting into trouble over something else. I hated to be grounded and my worst day was the day my dad figured that out!
That'd real funny, if my children's pediatrician addressed my discipline methods I used on my children, he would quickly learn the meaning of "pound sand"
The "threat" of a spanking means nothing unless the threat is backed up by a real hammerin' when it's not heeded.
"
I wanted the spanking as a child. It was over and done and I moved on to getting into trouble over something else. I hated to be grounded and my worst day was the day my dad figured that out!"
Me too. Spankings were intense but ended quickly. Being grounded for two weeks felt like it went on forever.
I just lost my dinner. Thanks.
So jonsie,
What do you, or can you, do when a student tells you "shut up"?? Genuinely curious.
Hang on, according to this article pediatricians will be called on to share your load. Such a good use of all those years in medical school (eyeroll)
I pray (by God's most glorious mercy) that I will not raise my kids to be the perennial victims that liberal society glorifies.
People against spanking (and I'll say HITTING, because if some kid did some heinous thing you'd bet I wouldn't flinch at smacking them anywhere available at that instant) tend to confuse "physical discipline" with "abuse".
I was NEVER abused myself. I will stake my life on it.
I can count on my hand (I think, because all but 1 smack was way too early for me to recall) how many times my parents "spanked"/smacked me (or, for that matter, "roughhoused" - not all physicality is smacking, some is grabbing, yanking, whatever). The threat, after actually carrying it out, was surely enough, never mind the other "styles" my parents would use depending on the "severity" or immediacy of a problem.
The fact I only remember 1 time - because I was old enough to - should indicate I was well disciplined before school ever started.
Meanwhile I knew my parents were fair and loving (affectionate, complimentary, involved, always buying me stuff just for the heck of it, etc, to a fault).
But I knew they had the weapons and were willing to use them. None of this "not MY child" stuff.
There is a huge difference between discipline and abuse. They should not be confused.
It's more likely to be like teachers - turn them into snitches.
Heavens you should ever look at a child the "wrong" way, much less hit them!
Makes me long for the good old days when we all knew better than to backtalk our teachers, get out of our seats in class or forget to do our homework.
The last clause of your last sentence is key. Just saying "no" isn't always enough to get results. I was constantly on my kids to sit up straight, take your hat off when inside, feet on the floor, open doors for other people, dress for dinner, etc., and I tried to explain "why" even if the explanation was as silly as "I don't want you to make a fool out of yourself if the President of the United States ever invites you to the White House for dinner." The other thing that was key was taking action swiftly and consistantly. I can recall being at a fast food restaurant and my son who was five at the time wanted to get out of his seat and run around the dining area like the other kids. I gave him one warning. When he disobeyed me, I picked him up and we left without his happy meal. He screamed all the way home as I explained why we had left the restaurant so abruptly. By the time we arrived home, he had calmed down and wanted lunch. "Sorry Charlie, but you already brought you lunch and because of your bad behavior we left your lunch on the table at McD's. The next meal for you is dinner." I never had to tell him to sit in his seat again at a restaurant. When I told my sister what happened, she said I had been unreasonable because all kids run around at McD's. I told her that a five year old can't discriminate between McD's, the diner, or more fancy restaurants and if you let them run around McD's they will also do it at fancy steak house. I also told her that I don't have to be reasonable to a five year old.
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