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Dolphins ‘stop smiling the moment our back is turned’
NewsBiscuit ^ | 10/5/2006

Posted on 10/06/2006 10:01:36 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007

New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are only pretending to be friendly to humans and that the moment that our backs are turned, a sour and indignant expression returns to their faces.

The discovery, which will traumatise animal lovers the world over, was made when Californian marine biologist Mike Varney sensed that the smiling, chattering manner of dolphins and porpoises was somehow a little insincere. He set up a series of remote controlled underwater cameras to record ceteceans interacting with swimmers and divers and then filmed the same dolphins as they left their human companions.

‘It’s fascinating’ said Varney. ‘As the excited eco-tourists climb onto the boat, still thrilled at their real-life encounter with wild bottlenose dolphins, you can see the dolphins turn away and their cheerful expression suddenly changes. They looked really pissed off, and were sort of tutting and looking skywards. It’s like they were saying ‘I AM SO BORED OF THIS!’

Varney’s research has also demonstrated that their high-pitched animated chattering is also contrived and phoney. Amongst themselves, dolphins manage little more than an occasional indignant grunt, and often can’t even bothered to reply to other family members.

This is the second major discovery by maverick naturalist Varney. Last year his remote controlled cameras discovered that gorillas are actually really smiley when they are left to themselves.


TOPICS: Extended News; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: dolphin; environmentalist; porpoisedrivenlife; science; varney
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are only pretending to be friendly to humans and that the moment that our backs are turned, a sour and indignant expression returns to their faces.

Reminds of my ex-girlfriend.


61 posted on 10/06/2006 10:50:00 AM PDT by Proud_USA_Republican (We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good. - Hillary Clinton)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are only pretending to be friendly to humans and that the moment that our backs are turned, a sour and indignant expression returns to their faces.

------ sounds like a lot of people I know. The dolphins are learning more from us than we realize.


62 posted on 10/06/2006 10:52:46 AM PDT by Uncle Chip
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

Carlos the Dolphin in assassination attempt on Chicken of the Sea CEO.

63 posted on 10/06/2006 10:53:13 AM PDT by InvisibleChurch (What I do (sin) is proof of what I am (sinful).)
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To: steve-b

Oh, that video of Klinton and the fake tears is PERFECT. Nice touch.


64 posted on 10/06/2006 11:02:03 AM PDT by MadeInAmerica (- If ILLEGAL means Undocumented - Then Breaking and Entering means Unannounced Visit)
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To: proudofthesouth

I lived out West when he got his big break pimping Safeway dairy products (Lucerene?). He was funny.

knowwhatimean, Vern?


65 posted on 10/06/2006 11:03:16 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: OldArmy94
LOL, just what I was thinking. I say "let 'em laughed when they're crammed in a can"

MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmm....Tuna-free dolphin!

66 posted on 10/06/2006 11:17:49 AM PDT by Erasmus (I invited Benoit Mandelbrot to the Shoreline Grill, but he never got there.)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007
"......Californian marine biologist Mike Varney......"


Jim Varney's brother?



'no wut I mean?"
67 posted on 10/06/2006 11:35:44 AM PDT by headstamp (Nothing lasts forever, Unless it does.)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

LOL


68 posted on 10/06/2006 11:36:15 AM PDT by headstamp (Nothing lasts forever, Unless it does.)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007
You just can't be sure who your friends are these days.


69 posted on 10/06/2006 12:27:36 PM PDT by Flashman_at_the_charge (A proud member of the self-preservation society)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

Well, until just recently, I had no idea that, when humans aren't around, cows stand on their hind legs and speak English. I learned this from the animated movie "Barnyard".


70 posted on 10/06/2006 1:08:15 PM PDT by mozarky2 (Ya never stand so tall as when ya stoop to stomp a statist!)
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