Posted on 10/06/2006 10:01:36 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007
New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are only pretending to be friendly to humans and that the moment that our backs are turned, a sour and indignant expression returns to their faces.
The discovery, which will traumatise animal lovers the world over, was made when Californian marine biologist Mike Varney sensed that the smiling, chattering manner of dolphins and porpoises was somehow a little insincere. He set up a series of remote controlled underwater cameras to record ceteceans interacting with swimmers and divers and then filmed the same dolphins as they left their human companions.
‘It’s fascinating’ said Varney. ‘As the excited eco-tourists climb onto the boat, still thrilled at their real-life encounter with wild bottlenose dolphins, you can see the dolphins turn away and their cheerful expression suddenly changes. They looked really pissed off, and were sort of tutting and looking skywards. It’s like they were saying ‘I AM SO BORED OF THIS!’
Varney’s research has also demonstrated that their high-pitched animated chattering is also contrived and phoney. Amongst themselves, dolphins manage little more than an occasional indignant grunt, and often can’t even bothered to reply to other family members.
This is the second major discovery by maverick naturalist Varney. Last year his remote controlled cameras discovered that gorillas are actually really smiley when they are left to themselves.
I miss Jim Varney. He was very talented.
All I can say is, what is so great about cities, universities, daycare centers or housing projects? :)
Who knew that dolphins were actually japanese. /partial sarc
However, further research indicates this phenomenon occurs most frequently with dolphins who describe themselves as "liberal."
Damn you.
It took me something like three years to get that song out of my head.
Thanks SO much.
what a waste of money.
I hate dolphins! They are like soooooooooooo stuck up! All they do is brag and brag all day.."I have rubbery skin and yooou don`t! You are so low class human" Well excuuuuse me, at least my nose isn`t on top of my head you idiot!
I thought you'd like this story.
We used to own a German Shepherd dog. When we'd have guests over, at about 10pm, the dog would come over and SIT directly in front of the guests, and stare at them.
You see, 10pm was his bed time. He was saying, "It's time to leave so I can go to bed."
At least that's what we told the boring guests. Heh, heh, heh.
A well trained dog is a joy to the heart.
"Chitter chitter-chatter chatter-chitter...
Translation: "You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries...go away or I shall taunt you a second time."
That's why I like cats. They make no bones about their opinion of humans.
>>All characters and events reported on this site are ficticious.<<
Although this is just too funny, I wish it was true.
I do have to say though, I hate when people humanize animals. The only reason why those dolphins are hanging around tourists is for food, not to be their pals.
Anyone ever watch "Meercat Manor" on Animal Planet? My kids love it but they make these rodents with pea brains out to be little humans. It's like a freakin' soap opera.
My hubby and I just cringe when it's on.
Too funny. I knew Mike back in the mid 80's when he was working in Baltimore for an not to be named computer sales organization. He then hosted a real estate show shown on Sunday mornings until he that really good? gig with Discovery.
He was (is?) a genuinely nice guy.
ROTFLMAO!!!! Great insight.
ping
That's awesome. I'm gratified to know that my impression of him from watching his show is spot on. He immediately struck me as the kind of guy you could invite over for poker and pizza and have a blast.
Does my heart good to see good guys do well. Thanks!
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