Posted on 08/28/2006 4:09:24 AM PDT by RobFromGa
Dear Rob,
"Cheated" twice with a couple beers a couple times over the last couple days, though, nominally, it'll be three weeks "clean" on Tuesday. This adds to guilt, but is the only way I can get myself relaxed enough to keep from bawling out of extremely-uncool and undeserved self-pity.
I'm under great medical observation, and a crapload of antidepressants [x,y, and z].
Tell me, Rob, what it is I'm recovering "from" and why, since this world is such a [messed up] place? When I was a drunk, sure, I'd be moody in the mornings, productive at work (and I NEVER drank during the day), and everyone's friend once I got home. Now it's just constant depression and having to face a [messed] up world (with way too many liberals in it .
I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.
The real abstraction here is if this horrid beautiful watery place is better with or without my presence. That last sentence isn't a "cry for help - please hug me I'm hurting, Oprah" throwaway - it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues".
What I need is reason/cognition/rationalization, and maybe I'll increase my [x] or extend it for a couple more weeks.
You're an Internet pal, trustworthy by sheer virtue of being a Conservative, and, your advice and wisdom is easier to follow exactly because I do NOT know you personally.
If you don't mind redacting my screenname, feel free to poll/ping the Recovery List. I'll "come out" when I'm ready, I promise.
God Bless You and have a great week,
Here is my 2 cents....we are all gonna die soon enough, (happy thought) why rush it?
Prayers sent for your friend. Please encourage him to trust in the Lord. And please remind him that, yes, God sees the rotten and miserable things that we do, but He loves us anyway, and that prayer is the best way to get through anything.
My Response to our FRiend:
[Recovering FRiend],
Hang in there buddy. We all know that you can succeed at this if you want to. I am continually amazed at what a great thing Free Republic is.
We are all blessed to have this place and these people in our lives (well not all of them, but the vast majority of them ;-> ).
There is some good advice in this thread, and AA meetings are your own personal decision but I would recommend committing to going to at least 30-45 meetings over the next 45 days. You need to make getting well the #1 priority in your life.
Let me know if you need anything more right now, otherwise you have plenty to read and re-read.
You might want to look at this thread on the alcoholism "disease" question:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1453042/posts
Thanks for not being afraid to ask for help. It means that you going to make it,
Fregards
Rob
I do not know if male or female or what religion the person is but I can say that this person should seek out a Catholic Church that has Eucharistic Adoration.
Find the Church, the location and the hours. Make the trip and go to the front of the Church and sit with our Lord in the Eucharist. He will sit with you and you and He can quietly talk over your needs. Bring a Rosary with you and pray to Our Mother.
May the Lord be with you. May the Lord comfort you. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.
That's true. It's what we do about them, but some are buried so deep we aren't aware they are evem there until or unless we get a flash of insight. Such as drifting into anger or depression.
There are many different causes of depression. I'm no expert, but I'm convinced there is a genetic component as there also is with alcoholism. We can choose what to do with it to a great extent, better early on than later, but the worst thing to do is deny it.
Denying feelings is very unhealthy imo. I resent it when people blame me for my depression and criticize me for taking meds for it. I can control it to some extent, choose what I do or don't do about it, but some of it is beyond my power to control. You learn to ride it out, try to keep busy with healthy pursuits, until the sun comes out again. Sometimes it takes a long time and a lot of hard work.
Pretending you are not angry or depressed doesn't work.
Prayers for a fellow Freeper bump
A very poor elitist response. I just prayed for you!
God bless you and your friend. I will say a prayer for him. I hope everything gets better for him soon.
I need to take my own advice sometimes.
Good "tough love" advice!
Volunteer!!! It doesn't have to be done in an organized fashion even and the person can start with baby steps...random acts of kindness as a way of life to refocus outward and when greater emotional equilibrium is maintained then move to "scheduled" acts of kindness. If the individual comes to realize that there are people out there who need his/her small token of kindness (even if they aren't aware themselves) which often can subtly snowball to have a much greater impact than the individual could possibly begin to fathom, then the individual starts to regain balance.
Thank you for sharing this sad story, and excellent advice. I just would like to add, that you had acted in a totally responsible and blameless manner. It should have been safe to eat at Burger King - the fast food places are regulated and have very high standards. But obviously, as we saw with the tragic plane crash this week, human error is always possible. You were entirely an innocent victim.
Two kids here, 5 & 7. "Slower to anger" really hits home and is definitely a challenge. But I want them to grow up with more kindness & patience and less of a "hair trigger" than their old man (and their grandpa, and their great grandpa, and their great-great....). Hopefully their kids will be the first generation in many not to endure disproportionate reactions to their innocent childhood indiscretions or watch their parents lose it over some minor frustration.
Please post your replies to RobFromGa
RobFromGa, My prayers going up for our FReeper FRiend. God's guidance for him...God's intervention in his lack of will power. I pray God puts a friend in his path that will help him find the strength to keep from "cheating".
Blessings,
trussell
If you want on/off my prayer ping list, please let me know. All requests happily honored.
One last post before I hit the hay-- thanks to everyone who prayed for our FRiend today, and for all of you that posted comments on this thread.
It has been an unexpected day for me, and there have been a number of FReepmails that blew me away with the generous offers of personal attention and assistance for a fellow Freeper. I am moved.
I got about a half dozen Freepmails like this one:
"Thanks, I'm really glad you posted that guy's stuff
really a great discussion, and one i needed to hear today, badly"
That is a perfect example of how helping others to overcome their problems helps us to overcome our own. Today was an amazing experience for me and I have greatly added to the layer of armor protecting myself from a relapse.
When we help another, we are really helping ourselves at the same time.
Good night and God Bless you all,
Rob
Offering my prayers
First, an apology. I just go tin from a class, it's late, I'm old and tired. So I didn't read all the responses.
BUT, the word "proud" can really mean "grateful", in which case, Phew!, nothing to worry about. But nearly every other meaning of "proud" runs clean contrary to being a "spiritual Christian", IMHO.
"While we were yet sinners ...". "The doors were locked where they were for fear of the Jews and Jesus appeared among them ... and said Peace be with you." And the "them we're talking about here is people who a couple of days ago had forsaken him and pretended not to know him. HE came to them, He did not wait for them to "make it up to Him," or in any other way fulfill some precondition before he came to them.
Search the Scriptures, if you;re so inclined, or just listen to me: Jesus Loves you. If you were the only person on earth other than He, he would have died for you, knowing that you were the problem. In the face of that Love it's just plain silly to avoid approaching Him. That's what Adam and Eve did in the garden: they Hid, as though somehow God wouldn't see them or what they'd done.
Jesus is already with you, His heart is breaking for you, and He's GLAD to have it break for you, that's why He came. He has all these gifts and, though He Himself made a crack about pearls before Swine, He has allowed us to tread Him under foot and still come back for more. His love never changes.
If you're the problem, if I'm the problem, If Jack Daniels is the problem, as far as His laying out prayer as one of the ways He shares His love with us goes, it makes no difference at all. NO difference at all.
It's not that He needs to hear from you -- He knows what's up. It's that as you turn to Him, ... well, I think it's sort of like holding still when the nurse gives you a shot. It doesn't feel so good and it seems, when you come right down to it, like a silly thing to do. Why let some strange chick shove a needle in your arm. And, yeah, it'll probably hurt. But the healing has already begun, or you wouldn't be writing this. And prayer will just be one of the signs of healing and a way even more healing comes to you.
And if you EVER feel that your being the problem is a reason not to pray, haul out the soggy noodle and flog yourself, all the while repeating: Stinking Thinking!
None of us is good enough to pray. All of us are the problem. And Jesus is still the solution.
Yeah you're ashamed. So what. You just have a clearer idea of how unworthy we all are of the love of God than most of us do. What a waste of a good insight it would be to let the shame be a reason NOT to pray. It would be like saying "I can't run because I have great lungs and strong legs and I really want to get to the goal a lot." What sense does that make.? You're ashamed. I'd recommend talking to Jesus about it. He knows a lot about shame.
The "taking away of the desire for the stuff" is what fixes the problem. A serious, committed 24/7/365 relationship with Him will mean you won't want to hurt Him by touching the stuff. Getting that relationship will require surgery - a prideectomy...
>>I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.<<
There's a problem right there - "I'm a *proud* Christian."
NO. You're a *weak* Christian and you need to get on your knees and admit that to God and to yourself. Work your steps! You do NOT have power over your addiction. And only God (or your higher power) can help you overcome your habit and you know it in your gut.
Ask God to HELP YOU WITH YOUR PRIDE AND YOUR DESIRE FOR YOUR ADDICTION. Yes, He knows you're the problem, but He is there - waiting for you to ask Him to give you a hand up!
Ask. Then ask again. Then ask about a hundred times more. Every day, every hour, every ten minutes if that's what it takes!
Then get off that pity pot and act your way into the right way of acting. From an old Alanon flunky - JUST DO IT! ;-)
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