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>>I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.<<

There's a problem right there - "I'm a *proud* Christian."

NO. You're a *weak* Christian and you need to get on your knees and admit that to God and to yourself. Work your steps! You do NOT have power over your addiction. And only God (or your higher power) can help you overcome your habit and you know it in your gut.

Ask God to HELP YOU WITH YOUR PRIDE AND YOUR DESIRE FOR YOUR ADDICTION. Yes, He knows you're the problem, but He is there - waiting for you to ask Him to give you a hand up!

Ask. Then ask again. Then ask about a hundred times more. Every day, every hour, every ten minutes if that's what it takes!

Then get off that pity pot and act your way into the right way of acting. From an old Alanon flunky - JUST DO IT! ;-)