Posted on 08/18/2006 1:45:48 PM PDT by nickcarraway
'WOMEN ARE equals now. They can fend for themselves. To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a woman, however well-intentioned, is creepy. At best, she'll think you're from another country; at worst she'll feel old, or overweight enough to be perceived as pregnant."
And that is a lesson in modern manners, according to the new issue of GQ (with Clive Owen on the cover). Glenn O'Brien and other GQ scribes weigh in on e-mails, cellphones, gym etiquette, dressing for travel, how to handle chatty seatmates, sleeping with your friend's ex, online dating, wedding gifts and how to treat gay people: "Gay people don't want to freshen up the world, they just want to be a part of it." (So don't ask for makeovers and fashion tips.)
Oh, but you certainly should open doors for women: "Why? To be nice, you mannerless ape!"
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
I live in S. FL (home of many yankees and home of many elderly). I cannot tell you how often I have been going into an establishment (for instance the post office) with my arms full, and had older men (I will not use the word gentlemen for them) go in ahead of me and let the door slam in my face instead of holding it open. I gotta say, the people out here are the rudest batch of humans I've ever encountered. Some days it's difficult to muster a smile (but I do--otherwise, they've won!)
susie
So would the NYT.
Racist? You are kidding me! What's the matter with people who consider good manners racist??? Sheesh.
susie
Excellent life lesson. A hard one, but we should all do the kind thing even when the recipient is a jerk. I always tell myself (when I do something nice for those jerks) that just maybe it will change the sort of day they're having and they will do something nice for someone else. Probably doesn't happen often, but surely on occasion.
susie
"She mouthed off that "She didn't need a MAN holding the door for her". I just smiled and waited until she walked in."
You should have slamed in her face and walked on.
I would be so curious if someone would ask in these instances, what was wrong. I mean, not in an accusatory way like ,"What the bleep is your problem?!" but something like, "Is everything ok?" or even, "Have I somehow offended you? That was not my intention." I just wonder what they would say (of course, if they have pepper sprayed you or slapped you, that is probably a bad idea).
susie
The problem with most feminists is that they are rarely treated as ladies.
My Great-Grandfather, Grandfathers and Dad raised me to be a gentleman, and I wll not allow this decadent society to change those years of educaiton!
On restraunt manners, remember, many kids NEVER eat at a table at home, so where will they learn table manners? Of course, it's a shame, but it's the truth.
And I also agree about hats. When did it become acceptible to wear them indoors?
susie
That's fascinating, I'm going to have to watch for that!
susie
Most women would find that charming. I know I do.
susie
I was at a farm market and one of the neighbor farmers was sitting in a chair. When we were introduced, he immediately stood up to shake my hand. Always a nice compliment to a female. "Manners" and "Goodness" never go out of style.
Give me your seat anytime!
No it is WAY too late for that.
"It's all part of the big plan".
To hell with the dyke biatches. I've only rarely been told off for offering my seat or opening a door, and my response is "Sorry, I'm more scared of my mama than I am of you, ma'am."
-ccm
Yes, a gentleman stands when ladies depart or arrive at the table. I hope he had the manners to wait for your hand to be offered to him to be shaken.
-ccm
"She mouthed off that "She didn't need a MAN holding the door for her". I just smiled and waited until she walked in."
"You should have slamed in her face and walked on."
Remember, as the wise Marcus Aurellius said, "The best revenge is to not do as they do".
My favorite episode of the Sopranos is the one when Tony is eating in an upscale restauraunt and sees a 20s something guy sitting at another table wearing a cap. He walks over and the following conversation takes place:
"They took out the bleachers a few years ago, maybe you didn't notice?"
"Huh?"
"They stopped serving hot dogs here a long time ago."
"Huh?"
"Take the hat off"
"I don't have to take my hat off"
"Take off the hat or I'll take it off for you."
"Screw you, man!"
Evil glare and flaring nostrils while Tony's fists begin to clench and unclench. The young guy slowly reaches up and pulls his hat off and lowers it into his lap. Tony returns to his table, calls the waiter and has him send an expensive bottle of wine to the table where the young guy and his date are talking animatedly while stealing quick glances in Tony's direction.
I actually cheered out loud over that scene.
Men who've immigrated from the Middle East are different. One time I was walking along a fairly narrow sidewalk on a freeway overpass in a prosperous major downtown in Southern California. Two clearly Middle Eastern businessmen in conversation approached me coming in the opposite direction. Being an American woman, I assumed they would be the ones to briefly adjust their stride so that one would step aside, and let me pass, and then go on their way. Would have taken a split second.
Instead, these guys, unaware totally of any breach of etiquette, brushed past me, so we were awkwardly three abreast. That never would have happened had the guys been American businessmen. I thought it was very telling.
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