Posted on 07/05/2006 3:37:01 PM PDT by Pharmer
Every year my family celebrates the 4th of July attending a large picnic at our swim club. I have been coming to this club since I was a child and often see old friends I havent seen in years at this function. When I was younger and my children were smaller it was also a local family reunion hosted my either my sister or myself as we were the only members after my parents past away. It is one of the most fun family oriented occasions one could ask for complete with sack and egg races, softball games, and cannonball contests in the pool. Flags festoon all the picnic tables and red white and blue is everywhere. I always look forward to the 4th.
After lunch and before all festivities, we have an assembly in which we sing the national anthem and recite the pledge of allegiance. The names of former members who died in our wars are read followed by a moment of silence for prayer.
This year I invited my older brother and his family and my older sister to join us. My brother is every bit the patriotic type I am but has not come to this event in over 10 years. My beloved older sister and second mother, who was once a member, dropped out after her husband died. But she wanted to rejoin. Part of the process is that she had to be reintroduced to the club president by a member as a formality. This function served as the best opportunity.
The weather was not favorable. It has hot and humid. The prediction was for afternoon thunderstorms. It was overcast with an occasional distant rumbling of thunder. But no rain yet.
We were halfway through lunch when the call to assemble at the flag pole was given. So we all got up and joined the membership. As I took my hat off as the ceremony began, I noticed some in the gathering were turning the back to the flag. Most of them were predictable as they were 60s hippies of the first order. But I also noticed my sister doing the same. At first I thought she was just trying to catch the eye of an old friend so I paid it little mind.
The games began and we resumed lunch with a spirited discussion on the fate of the Phillies this year (my brother is a season ticket holder). And my brother was arguing with my sister as to fallacy of global warming My sister is a tree hugger and my brother thinks (rightly so in my opinion) the global warming is just a bunch of hot air. I know that my sister is a big lefty but I avoid discussing politics with her because we get angry on I wanted to enjoy the day. Beside love sometimes transcends politics.
As we finished lunch and brought out desert. My sister brought a pie. To my surprise in was combination cherry and blueberry pie fashioned as Old Glory with strips of pie crust making the striped and stars. It was beautiful. And delicious! But as we finished it and laude her with praise, then she went off to say I dont know why I made this. Im glad you all are enjoying it but please dont take this for some stupid gesture of patriotism. Trust me I am not in any way patriotic. In fact I am embrassed to be an American. Thats why I couldnt face the flag. Patriotism is nothing more than fascism. No country is worth a drop of blood especially this one.
My brothers face turned red as he struggled to restrain himself. I said nothing but inside was boiling with rage. My dear sister was Cindy Sheehan and Natalie Maines in front of me. But as I was in public surrounded by many of her old friends, I held my tongue.
My anger went to sadness as almost in poetic fashion it started raining. The games were still in progress and none of my guests could enjoy the pool. All the picnickers fled to their cars as the festivities ground to a halt. No prizes awarded, no cannon balling after the keg was kicked. I went home very sad. Sad for the picnickers, and sad for my bitter sister whom I dearly love.
I know many in this forum are enraged by Cindy Shehan and her ilk. But knowing my sister as I do, it better makes me understand them. I have 2 very liberal sisters. The one mentioned in this article is very dear to me. We have been close all our lives. But sadly she feels that life owes her and has failed to deliver. She feels that man is the root of all evil and redemption. She recognizes no higher calling than her own wants and desires. No one is blessed, only greedy. And America is the land of greed. In spit of this she is loving and caring. But still bitter those outside her sphere.
Sad, very sad.
Considering the day, the events planned (raising the flag), and all the patriotic symbolism, I wouldn't have invited any Lefties to begin with - family or not.
But don't let it rob you of the celebratory joy of the day.
Why bother to include her ... it's not as though she wants to be there either. If I were you, I'd not invite her next year or ask her not to come. People like this really put a damper on things. Why have one or two spoil it for everyone?
"My dear sister was Cindy Sheehan and Natalie Maines in front of me."
It's not your fault she is this way.
Well, obviously it's a tough situation. You both can agree to disagree and still get along, but the moment she offers her opinion... you should have rebutted with yours. Her rant shouldn't have gone unchecked, but that's just my take. You probably did the right thing by keeping the peace.
Good luck!
Too funny...by bothering you folks, she/it met her objective...
Maybe you should have her home tested for lead paint.
I'm glad you can take this in stride. I have the same problem in my family. You wish you could reach out to them, but it just pushes them farther away.
We get together and I try to remain cordial and respectful, although that has not always been the case. There are times when I just can't hold it all inside. I'm sure they feel the same way.
It's one of lifes little character builders, to be sure.
ping self for later read and BTTT
I feel no bitterness or anger toward them, but sadness. What a dark place they live in, to feel so pessimistic about our world and future and to see victimization and oppression everywhere. They've made a prison for themselves.
Sorry about the downer incident.
At least you made me more appreciative of some of my relatives...
small consolation for you I'm sure.
I had an older sister who was just like that (she passed away about 5 years ago). We argued and everything but during family events we dealt with her because underneath she was still family and still my sister and we loved her regardless of her political opinions. And I think she knew that because at times she was simply the nicest person. We just tried not to talk about political issues with her. That's all you can do.
Every family has one, or a few. If I read your post correctly, those who were unpatriotic were far fewer than those who were patriotic, so focus on the fact that the lefties were in the minority.
The only other comment I have is: someone died in my family (a couple of years ago) and, believe it or not, the one regret I have is that I didn't royally tell them off just once. Instead, I was always the 'good' one who bit my tongue. Now that they are gone, I realize what a complete a*****e they were and I wish I hadn't passed up the opportunity to say: "You know Sally, you didn't have to tell us [you are unpatriotic] but you chose to do so. And so I choose to tell you that I think you are a complete a*****e and I couldn't care less what you think about anything". Whew, I feel better!
Sorry to hear about your 4th, unfortunately you can't pick your relatives. Living in Rhode Island I am surrounded by these types, hatred for this administration has consumed them in a way that is both sad and frightening. Keep your head up and keep the faith in the Phillies!
Speaking as someone in a similar family situation, my first reaction was that you should have picked up the pie and shoved it into her face (and then claim, of course, that it was an accident).
My later reaction, though, is that that would have been a waste of pie. Anyway, why the sadness? You might as well celebrate that we live in a country where we are all free to say whatever we want.
By inviting your sister to your patriotic 4th celebration, you should have known what to expect. That said, you still have to invite her and deal with it - the important thing is that she's healthy and she came to the party. I hope you invite her back next year.
Your sister has quite a flair for the dramatic. Obviously, the only reason she baked the American Pie was so she'd have an excuse to offer her disclaimer to everyone (To leftys, American flags, even in pie form, are only good for publicly burning).
So tell her that next year she should bring more of her famous patriotic pies, and be grateful that she comes. I know that's easier said than done.
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