Posted on 07/02/2006 4:22:03 AM PDT by libstripper
Brendan and Sharon had been dating since the late 1980s, when they met in college.
Every holiday, every birthday, every major event, Sharon was on pins and needles. Would Brendan finally pop the question, produce a ring and ask her to marry him? And every holiday, every birthday, every major event, he didn’t.
Friends began to scoff at her and her family reminded her that her biological clock was clicking away.
On a cold winter morning, Sharon came to a harsh but honest realization. Brendan just wasn’t the marrying kind. She got the courage to ask him why. “It turns out he still had deep emotional scars from his parents’ divorce when he was a child,” she says. “He felt that marriage was too risky, too painful—so why bother?”
(Excerpt) Read more at msn.match.com ...
From a comic, I don't remember who: And the other half end in death.
Some of the world's most ridiculous people are those who ridicule unmarried people for not being married while themselves going through the agonies of child support litigation with an embittered ex.
And one of the best innoculations against divorce is modeling a successful marriage for your children.
Integrity and commitment are everything to a child.
Agreed. On the other hand, going through the agonies of building a successful marriage is a truly rewarding experience, and cannot be considered ridiculous.
Integrity and commitment are everything.
Personally, after seeing my parents' divorce when I was nine, I was more committed to making sure that 1) I had the right partner when I did marry, and 2) I didn't get married until I knew that I would be with this person for the rest of my life.
If a guy wants to stay single his entire life...no problem.
But be honest up front with the women one dates, so they don't hold on to the hope they'll someday get married.
But I, personally, see marriage as a great thing, for men and women. In our family, though, all marriages have been "long term" (parents on both sides 56 and 53 years respectively, siblings on both sides, 40,32,26,24,and 22years, and we've been married 26 years also.)
But I do understand how divorce could play into "trust" issues and make it harder to take the "leap."
And sadly, at a societal level, individuals are being taught that they shouldn't give of themselves the amount of commitment and sacrifice absolutely required to build a successful marriage. They are taught, perhaps indirectly, but the lesson is well learned, to focus on their own personal gratification above that of others. It's not a formula that fits into the marital equation for success.
That has a nice ring to it... I've been saying; "When you get married you're spouse is supposed to be your best friend; loyal, loving and trustworthy. Like your dog.
My ex taught me; sit, stay and fetch. One of the guys at work taught her; lie down, roll over and come"
There's truth in comedy.
Actually divorce is all about who has the better lawyer. My ex got to keep her broom AND she got custody of my ruby slippers!
"They are taught, perhaps indirectly, but the lesson is well
learned, to focus on their own personal gratification above that of others."
Sad but true. Somehow or other, self-absorption became a virtue in our culture.
"“It turns out he still had deep emotional scars from his parents’ divorce when he was a child,” "
Ah, that old line...she buys it, hook...
Some people aren't "the marrying kind." They are people who aren't deeply, truly, passionately in love.
In the past few years I've seen quite a number of my male friends, relatives, and acquaintances get married. Some of them were guys who had had their clocks cleaned in divorce court and you'd think they'd be embittered. They'd all had previous relationships with perfectly nice women who were all too anxious to put out for them and by being too compliant had eroded the boyfriend's respect for them. Then these guys found Miss Right and went down like a ton of bricks. I'm betting these marriages last because the men weren't coerced into them.
When a man is crazy in love he'll want to pop the question. He won't need nagging or ultimata.
Why *should* he marry her. Thanks to her, he gets the intimacy of marriage without the commitment or responsiblilty. If you are a guy into that sort of thing, it does not get better than that.
It reminds me of one of the campfire skits put on at my son's scout camp. (Despite a galloping allergy to camping, I did it for a week because my son's troop needed a second adult.) One scout grabs two members of the audience has them hold up a log, which forms the counter for his "camp store." A series of other scouts (in his troop) come up and ask for different items, which the store is out of. Finally, the last scout asks, "Don't you have anything?" The clerk points to the two holding the log and says, "I have a couple of suckers." That's the woman: a sucker.
Dating since the '80s? Even if she gets wise now and ditches the guy -- assuming she does not attract another such -- she has likely cheated herself out of kids. (Maybe it's good for the gene pool that these two do not perpetuate themselves.)
I think I'll go ahead with my plans for building an Assisted Living Facility for elderly singles. With the way people refuse to commit and build families for themselves, there are going to be millions of them in the future with no spouse or children or extended family to give a rats rump about them. I may as well take in the self-induced lonely and bitter crowd.
Well, Mother Government will take them in too, of course. I have a feeling that she'll be cool with that. The downward slide of our society is aimed at falling into her lap, just the way she intends it to be. :)
She's a sly one. Most people don't even see what's going on all around them. That's to her advantage, too. ;)
Ladies, if after two years, three at most, he hasn't decided to marry you, it's unlikely that he will. Move on.
Women tend to be focused on a relationship "growing". As in winding up at marriage and kids.
What too many women don't realize is that, from a man's point of view, once she's moved in and he's getting laid on a regular basis, the relationship is at an ideal point: he gets all the benefits of marriage without that much future commitment
Did you all see the link at the bottom of that article? There's a picture of a serious-looking nurse and a banner that says, "Join the fight against BACHELORISM! Just 13 cents a day." It goes on about this disease, "Find out more!" as if it were some hideous tropical blight that's killing innocent villages in Third-World countries. But the ad is by Match.com. Pretty funny.
My mother married my father when she was 14 and they were married 40 years when he passed away, a year later she remarried and she and her husband have been married for 31 years now.
Some people just know what it takes to make a successful marriage.
Fifty Percent of American Marriages End in Divorce-Fiction!
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/d/divorce.htm
appears to have originated from a misreading of the facts. It was true, he said, if you looked at all the marriages and divorces within a single year, you'd find that there were twice as many marriages as divorces. In 1981, for example, there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces. At first glance, that would seem like a 50-percent divorce rate.
Virtually none of those divorces were among the people who had married during that year, however, and the statistic failed to take into account the 54 million marriages that already existed, the majority of which would not see divorce.
LOL!
"“It turns out he still had deep emotional scars from his parents’ divorce when he was a child,” "
And it took her how many years to finally figure this out?
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