Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
A basketball player on the local college team had the unfortunate moniker of Reprobatus foisted on him by a moronic mother. He recently lived up to his name by being arrested for armed robbery.
Once on a TV talk show I saw this poor woman whose first name was Aquanet. I wondered if she had a sister named VO5 or Adorn. I was also thinking, instead of Aquanet, how about...Annette?? You know, something nice and normal, something that won't make people laugh???
When I worked for DCFS in Florida, I had a young mother come in and re-apply for her welfare after being cut off for some reason or another.
Her name was pronounced Va-geena. I'll give you once guess how it was spelled.
I know a woman in the office named Latrina. And she warned me NOT to use the nickname "La."
Didn't Gwenyth Paltrow name her daughter "Apple"? Is she going to name her next child "Kiwi" or "Grape"? How about "Starfruit". Seriously ridiculous.
Was wondering if there was anyone else around here geek enough to catch that...
:P
Meet my daughters Propecia and Alopecia.
My son has a friend named Sue. Great kid.
"I like "Scout" also. It's sweet."
It's only sweet because you associate it with a famous character in film and literature. Scout's real name is Jean Louise (as in: "Stand up, Miss Jean Louise - your father's passing").
bong for later
I like my Captain Underpants name generator better.
My new name is:
Boobie Gizzardtush
http://www.ultsoftware.com/NameGen.html
:)
We had a family in our temple named "Gentile". For a time, I think he was the President of the Temple Board!
What about Bernardo O'Higgins?
My maternal grandmother was Elfa Agnes.
My paternal grandparents were Faye Belle and Ernest Buford.
I swear, I'm not making this up either.
Years ago, an acquaintance of mine used to get utterly irate (and is probably still doing so) when people pronounced her son's name as "DAY-men." She insisted that the correct pronunciation was "DAY-mee-en". After all, she'd spelled it that way - Dee Ay Em Ee En.
Often they simply invent new names. For instance, the US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice derives her first name from the musical term 'con dolcezza' which mean 'to play with sweetness'.
http://www.rogerdarlington.co.uk/useofnames.html
Wonder if it includes the missing Ura Hogg
Only half true! There was no Ura Hogg, though Ima Hogg really was the name of his daughter. James Stephen Hogg (1851-1906; Governor of Texas 1891-1895) had four children: William Clifford Hogg (1875-1930), Ima Hogg (1882-1975), Michael Hogg (1885-1941), and Thomas Elisha Hogg (1887-1949).
http://www.ci.austin.tx.us/library/ff_texa10.htm
I was working on an HR database for a big call center years ago and came across the name "LaQuiefa". Seriously.
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