Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
Wasn't that Tracey Ullman's name in Mel Brooks' "Robin Hood: Men in Tights"???
Shirely, you jest that it was previously a man's name.
P.S. D.P. stands for displaced person. Where I come from, if you called someone a D.P. it was a slur. (Names, initials, etc., can be a tricky thing :)
I knew that.
See post 183.
Yours is better but I did know a Candy Fudge when I was a kid. Can't say I've heard that last name again either.
Funny, my grandfather was named Vivian also.
Freakin' Sweet!
From now on you can all refer to me as "Shaft"
Here's a sad little story. One of the kids I know has a speech problem. Great kid except for that. He had a little brother in October. The new kid's name is Asher. Bad name, but not the problem. When big bro says the name it comes out as Ashhole. He doesn't say his brother's name anymore.
Hey, that would make a great baby name!
"That's gotta be one of the more stupid names I've ever heard. That kid is gonna get called names like Greenie when he gets older
Noooooooooooo. Woodie. Bank on it.
Shaft! Now that's a manly name right there. LOL
"And there was no "eura"."
You just think that. Ura was very, very shy and kept her name out of print. That's what her half of the Hogg fortune went to. And she did a good job of it, didn't she.
I'll echo everything in the editorial and add this:
-don't misspell ANY name; some day Brytnee and Kodee will be grownups, and it just won't look dignified
-don't give children nicknames as names; if you want to call a girl Betty, name her Elizabeth; if you want to call a boy Bobby, name him Robert
-"cutesie" names on little boys and little girls won't look so "cutesie" with "Governor" or "Senator" in front of those "cutesie" names as will strong names like Victoria and James
-you wouldn't put a lava lamp in a formal Victorian dining room, so try to keep the "flavor" of a child's name consistent, just for style and good taste; Seamus Garcia and Juan O'Riley don't just roll off the tongue.
Chequonda
Chrishanna
Cherrica
Daqurirs
Frantashia
Italine
Kimaka
Laquette
Linnequa
Latorial
Amittie
Starteria
Shordae
Sharika
Trequila
Tyroid
Tasundra
Toccara
Tynettia
Oh, that's not even fair. How many extra pushups was that name worth?
Give your kid a made-up conglomerate that is not a word in any earthly language and you have just relegated him/her to irrelevance.
When I lived in Juneau in the Sixties, one of the bartenders in my favorite hangout was named Bobbie Jean Marshall. And she was a boy. A U.S. Marshal. So help me. He was a family friend for several years, frequently called by the FBI for assistance. I'll bet he put up with a LOT of ribbing. His mother named him. I wonder what she had against boys. He was cool. He even taught me how to smoke a cigar.
That it is.
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