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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: D.P.Roberts

He was born before that cute little red-haired Republican girl.......


161 posted on 03/30/2006 1:07:03 PM PST by Red Badger (I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.....)
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To: DarkSavant

Richard Weiner (Friends call him Dick.)


162 posted on 03/30/2006 1:07:04 PM PST by petercooper (Cemeteries & the ignorant - comprising 2 of the largest Democrat voting blocs for the past 75 years.)
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To: DarkSavant

Zebulon Vance was the governor of North Carolina when the Yankees destroyed our nation and installed the present, thankfully declining regime.

Oh, did I mention that's a "Bible" name, and pretty common here in the South?


163 posted on 03/30/2006 1:07:16 PM PST by warchild9
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To: twippo

I went to high school with an Aarley - an alternate spelling of Arleigh. His last name was Odle.


164 posted on 03/30/2006 1:07:27 PM PST by Denver Ditdat (Melting solder since 1975)
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To: Don Carlos

How bout the NBA player named Anferny


165 posted on 03/30/2006 1:07:27 PM PST by Blackirish (Hillary is angry AND brittle.)
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To: TXBubba

Shirley, Ashley; how about Courtney?


166 posted on 03/30/2006 1:07:36 PM PST by elcid1970
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To: twippo
her name was LaShi’quita

What kind of name is that? Klingon?

167 posted on 03/30/2006 1:07:37 PM PST by steve-b (A desire not to butt into other people's business is eighty percent of all human wisdom)
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To: TXBubba
I know a Doctor named Jumbo....

And another one named Joe Bob....

Of course..I'm here in Oklahoma...!! LOL!!

168 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:07 PM PST by Osage Orange (Molon Labe)
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To: BenLurkin

yeah, he posted the link. it's from the onion


169 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:08 PM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.cafepress.com/liberalitees - Because they're too fun not to mock!)
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To: twippo

Then,

"Mo" is ok.

but leave off the "hammad".


170 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:16 PM PST by Chickensoup (The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.)
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To: Beelzebubba

Snopes doesn't necessarily say, I would hope they weren't used but who knows?

http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.htm


171 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:19 PM PST by eyedigress
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To: twippo

Named my sons Lee and Ross because we have a long last name. They go by their first name, no nicknames, and these names will always sound dignified - unlike my first name: Randy.


172 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:25 PM PST by RatRipper
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To: OkieDoke

Just know Ima was the never married daughter of Gov. Hogg. Her estate has left some gardens and house somewhere around here. Houston?


173 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:27 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: toddlintown

Hail Fredonia!

Land of the brave and the free!


174 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:34 PM PST by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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To: petercooper

Propecia, Sinutab, please let that be a joke.


175 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:35 PM PST by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it. Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
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To: Antoninus
"My all-time favorite is a girl I once met named Lasanya. And no, she didn't have a sister named Ravioli. I asked."

When she lived in Valdez, her name was LaZonia, and her sister's name was Raquelle. Both white.

176 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:38 PM PST by redhead (www.opinions3.com and http://halfbakedsourdough.blogspot.com, if you would like to read more...)
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To: satchmodog9

I worked with an older White gentleman in Florida and for three years I called him Glen because that's what everyone else called him. One day he started telling a story about his childhood and turns out Glen is his nick name, his real name was Harvey. We all got a chuckle out of the fact that we never heard "Glen" as a nickname. Then he said, "if you think that's funny my older brother never uses his real name". We asked and he replied that his brother's name is Cletus. Of course we fell out laughing. Just goes to show you odd names come in all colors.


177 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:41 PM PST by blaquebyrd
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To: twippo

I have a friend who had business dealings with a black woman named Placenta. The story behind this was thather mother was not well educated. During childbirth, she heard the doctor say 'Here comes the Placenta' and she either thought that was a name, or sounded like a good name. And so her daughter was forever cursed. The sad thing about it that while her name was often a source of embarrassment to her, she refused to change it because she didn't want to shame her mother.


178 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:56 PM PST by Juana la Loca
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To: texasbluebell

Good! I'm delighted to be HALF wrong, in any case.


179 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:58 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: bonfire
Condoleeza just sounds Southern.

Well, it ain't!

If I remember correctly, I read that con doleeza is an Italian musical term meaning to "play with sweetness."

Apparently in this case, the name doesn't show a lack of class but perhaps too much.

180 posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:59 PM PST by lonestar (Me, too--Weinie)
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