Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
My favorite is a guy I knew in college.... Zebulon. Yes, his parents were hippies.
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Hey, I've still got his eight track!
Nah, there was no Ura Hogg -- Ima Hogg had only brothers.
http://www.famoustexans.com/imahogg.htm
"Ima was named for the heroine of a Civil War poem written by her uncle Thomas Elisha and was affectionately known as Miss Ima for most of her long life."
I had a child named Tamika in my day camp group. I liked her. She has good parents, and she is probably doing fine in the real world. I also went to school with an Azande. She's a lawyer now. Very nice girl. I bet she grew into a very nice lady, but I haven't seen her since junior high school. She had good parents as well.
Just as long as the first syllable isn't "Al".
and then there's Apple
Mickl'n'jello?
(Hint: He painted the ceiling of the Sistine chapel, and sculpted "David.")
My ex-girlfriend's brother/wife had a kid about eight years ago.
They named himm Greenwood - after a lake in northern Minnesota.
I remember looking at her and saying "That's gotta be one of the more stupid names I've ever heard. That kid is gonna get called names like Greenie when he gets older".
At least Nosmoking Johnson's future employer won't have to spring for redundant signage.
Hand to G-d.
According to Wikipedia (and sourced), "The name "Condoleezza" is derived from the Italian music-related expression, "Con dolcezza", meaning "with sweetness".
So... basically, it was messed up, too.
It's gotta be a gag.
How about Kaya, a boy. From the Bob Marley song "Me wan see Kaya". My grandson, btw. Poor kid!
After having to deal with an interesting individual named Lo'Quisha at the DMV a while ago, I commented to the wife that it was just a matter of time before we encountered persons named after cars...well, Chevy is an accepted first name as is Ford, so I guess we have been in the presence of them for a while.....Until I met....CELICA JOHNSON.
Ghetto Name Generator:
http://www.fadetoblack.com/namegenerator/
On the flip side, when I hear the name "Cody" I picture some mullet-wearing redneck driving a dirty pick-up truck covered in #3 stickers.
That has to be a joke, Sinutab?
At least in the case of Condoleeza, the origin of the name is from an Italian music term. Parents were music teachers. She grew up on what used to be called "longhair" music.
Well, only if you know how to read and with American education being what it is...
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