It sure wasn't this guy...
Posted on 03/18/2006 7:03:00 PM PST by goldstategop
The miracle of Purim owes much to a superficial, womanizing male who set about dating as many women as possible to find the one that was the most beautiful. Ahasuerus is like so many shallow men today who reduce women to nothing but a slim figure and a pretty face. But in the end, the story of Esther makes it clear that the secretly Jewish queen was chosen not for her looks, but because she "found grace and favor" in the eyes of all who beheld her. There was a womanly dignity, a sublime feminine majesty, to Esther that the rest of the harem lacked. They were empty suits, packaging only, without substance or personality. They were the kind of women who attract attention with low-cut blouses rather than high intelligence, short skirts rather than a lofty spirit. But Esther is a woman possessed both of outer and inner beauty, a heroine who exhibits uncommon wisdom, courage and dedication to the helpless. In short, she is a woman of outstanding character and her story is that of the triumph not only of the Jews over their enemies, but also of a woman's ability to win over a man with her brains rather than her bust.
How tragic, therefore, that Jewish men today have adopted the dating mores of Ahasuerus. And I'm not just talking about secular Jewish men whom we might expect to have adopted less lofty criteria in their choice of a mate. Rather, I am speaking especially of Orthodox Jewish men who have become so obsessed with the three modern virtues of a real woman - large chest, long legs, slim figure - that heart, mind, even the sparkle of her eyes, count for almost nothing.
I once served as matchmaker-in-chief for JDate. But I now find matchmaking nauseating thanks to the dispiriting superficiality of today's Jewish men. I now know that the countless men who tell me how desperate they are to find a really nice girl are lying through their teeth because what they really mean is a woman who looks like a model. At my weekly Sabbath table, where I host many singles, I watch as the men immediately dismiss even the most interesting women with the warmest hearts if they lack a bombshell body.
If she's short, she's out, and if she's overweight, well, that's the kiss of death. I'll set up men with women who I know to be attractive and charming, only to have the guy call me back the next day and complain of a lack of chemistry, by which he always means, "She wasn't pretty enough." The poor woman never had a chance. Before she opened her mouth, her body did her in.
BUT WHY would we expect anything different? Superficial people seek superficial qualities, and men today are about as deep as a crack in the sidewalk. They have been given one criterion for success, money, and they use that money as a commodity to purchase a woman's chief commodity, her physical beauty. Today's religious men are trained to appreciate little else.
I know a 20-year-old Jewish girl who developed a dangerous eating disorder because her very religious parents told her that unless she lost weight the type of yeshiva student they wanted her to marry would not take her out.
But weren't Jewish men, especially Orthodox ones, supposed to be different? The nation that gave the world's Solomon's Ode to a Woman of Valor, where a woman's God-fearing qualities are what make her beautiful, have betrayed that ideal utterly. If you are a woman in the Jewish singles scene who isn't stunningly attractive, you're going to wait a long time to get married. And once you're married, you better keep your looks up, because the women who are going to be praying with you in the ladies' section spend five hours in the gym for every hour they spend in the synagogue. They're not fools. They know that their husbands are trained to appreciate muscle tone rather than piety. And don't have more than two children, even though we need as many Jewish babies as possible, because kids will make your figure go to hell and your breasts droop almost as far.
NEVER believed that I would witness a time when even marriage-minded, Orthodox men would become womanizers, giving themselves the latitude to date as many women as possible so that they can find "the best." In yeshiva I was taught one did not date a woman the way one shopped for a car. Rather, you focused on one woman completely and tried to develop a soulful connection with her without worrying about what else might be out there.
Recently, I had a young rabbinical student of marriageable age at my home. He told me he had already dated 40 girls and had not found what he was looking for. I was stunned. "Forty nice, religious girls, and not one of them was good enough for you?"
But anyone familiar with the increasingly toxic shidduch system among the ultra-Orthodox knows that what many young men are looking for is anathema to Jewish values, namely, looks, money and pedigree. Find all three and you have hit the jackpot. Find only one, or even two, and you have "to settle."
Now, no doubt, in the secular world marrying money and marrying into an important family are also important. But when religious Jews marry for materialistic and ego-driven values, they degrade a glorious spiritual tradition.
It is high time that rabbis started giving sermons from the pulpit exhorting single men in the congregation to be gentlemen and reward women for developing the traits that Judaism truly values like compassion, wisdom and goodness. While physical attraction is always important in marriage - both for men and for women - Jewish leaders must begin inspiring future husbands to judge their wives' attractiveness by considerations beyond flesh alone. For if we fail, we'll continue seeing Jewish women feeling permanently insecure about their "imperfect bodies" rather than taking pride in their generous spirits.
It sure wasn't this guy...
You mean STATUS of your WALLET?
Well, I woulda said sissy-boys, but I didn't want to offend anyone. :-)
Not "GIRLY MEN"?
Pffft. Women are equally bad when it comes to shallowness.
Women less superficial than men? Based on what, their interest in choosing a mate on his ability to pay her bills or allow her to stay home while hibby works his ass off? Or is it their interest in choosing men of certain status?
I forget.
Actually, I believe the "thin is in" stuff is fairly recent. Plump was all the rage 100 years ago.
Why? Plump meant healthy and wealthy.
Preferably she should be smart. Even if there is this animal magnetism between them and all this sexual energy, it is still better if they can have great intelligent conversations as well.
If you are lucky enough to be married, you want a partner in life with a good head who you can trust with your life IMO.
I would say men don't appreciate drama in the house if it isn't needed.
We don't mind doing things or chores for women in their lives, we just aren't into being told we must do it the moment they have the whim to assign us that chore.
Many women love to talk and talk about their problems (real or imagined)
Men sympathize to a point but the nature of a man is to solve a problem, meanwhile it seems women find having the problem and talking about it is more important. (in some cases)
Men can be more practical, but women are more delightful and make the house a home with their wonderful touches and visions of how to better live.
One of the dearest things I ever heard a newly married couple be told was when after the reception a grand dad gave some great advise that shook the couple up.
He said he had been married to her grandmother for over 50 years before she died and though they had their problems, nothing was ever a major problem.
He attributed the success of their marriage and life long love to mostly one thing he and his wife did every day of their marriage together. It was that they prayed together at least once a day.
I thought about that and thought it was brilliant.
If you think about it, prayer with someone is very intimate.
Most couples who break up grow apart, but if they participated in the intimacy of prayer each day, there would be less chance of major problems.
I liked that, should I get married some time, I think that advise I overheard is a keeper.
I also had a pair of older grandparents who married early, but had their kids late.
They died in their 90s and were married a bit over 72 years together as man and wife.
From what I saw there, the thing that very much helped that union was the blessed gift of deafness in their later years.
:)
Anyone who can't discern the difference, deserves what he or she gets, imo.
Ruh Roh! (LOL).
Ewww those are the kind that make me wonder..
Real rugged sweaty men are where it's at ;)
Jewish chicks are so bossy no good Jewish men want to marry them.
Rabbi Boteach is almost telling men not to be men. The first thing that attracts a man to a woman is her physical beauty. This is the incentive to check her out more closely, talk with her, and then determine if she is spiritually beautiful.
Women think they don't have to be women any more. They think they can be Type B women, pushing maximum density, whiny/kvetchy, chop off their hair, and feel entitled to what they feel they deserve without the work required.
American women have adopted many of the negative spiritual qualities Jewish women are known for that men just aren't going to put up with any more - at least the non-metrosexual ones.
I haven't gotten married yet because I can't stand the Jewish women I know. I am now talking to a Christian girl who is both physcially becautifully and spiritually beautiful as well. Jewish men with hot goy chicks (whom convert to Judaism) does work well because the goy chicks have a much, much better and humble attitude toward men than Jewish chicks who marry goy men (who are wimps).
I assume that the portrait refers to the promoter of the full-figured "Rubensesque" woman. But she had one thing so many woman of today totally lack:
A NATURAL WAISTLINE!
I refer you instead to the "Renoiresque" woman of full bosom, tiny waist, and voluptuous hips. Equally as fit for the rigors of childbirth and childrearing.
And truly the mother of builders of empires.
Those snags you posted can be bought in Detroit for a couple of rocks.
"...Then how do all those hot chicks end up on the back of motorcycles with drugged out maggot invested boyfriends..."
Who would have ever thought that financial wealth could be found by investing in maggots? That's probably when the drugs and fancy motorcycles enter the picture.
~ Blue Jays ~
Don't think so. And better than the heifers you have in Macomb County, Dearborn, and Westland. ;-)
Hollywood!!!!
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