A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day....03-1-06....Housecleaning Avoidus

The school of Hard Knocks | March 1, 2006 | Dolly Howard

[DollyCali]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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Ah the joys of cleaning a house…Let me count the ways…../sarcasm

To what shall I compare it? A root canal? A major sunburn on your whole body when you fell asleep for two hours in the tanning table w/o timer? A huge zit on your nose for your senior prom? Liver for your birthday dinner? Looking at pictures of x42? Of sKerry? Or Sheenhan?

I recall the white glove inspections when I was in the Navy. Now a yardstick is the guideline. If you don’t understand this, you are to be commended. There is Housework Avoidus… and the chronic condition: Housework Avoiditis. It is really NOT a bad/deadly condition - just a frustrating one.

Now Free Republic has given a new purpose to life & PRIORITIES, hasn’t it? Should we put off friendship & being informed & getting involved for ….for Housework ?

I think not.

Free Republic has given so much perspective to me with my homemaking chores. How many days can you go without doing dishes? Then when dishes are gone, dig out the paper plates… when they are gone having take-out? And then when money for take-out is gone, deciding to fast a day or two?

How many pots & pans can you burn up as you forget about the “whatever” on the stove as you get into one of Howlin’s live threads, the Tony Snow daily thread? The fun troll thread complete with 35,000 keywords awaits along with Monkey Face, Irish_Thatcherite, & darksheare! Or save toons from Pookie18’s daily offerings? At ATRW you get the latest weather & political essay from the Chair & keep up with all the news of your buddies…Of course the Dose must be checked & pictures saved - ohioWfan, Snugs, MJY1288 and others work VERY hard to give us these offerings. HOW INSULTING TO THEM TO PUT vacuuming before them!. At a word of the Day you find the latest poetry from our own Nicknamed Bob.. And of course always a cute kitty pix along the way. PLUS it is educational. Where else will you find a word to use that 95% of the people you know will not know? And of course the one stop place for news is Gucho’s Operation Phantom Fury… ah, I am salivating now thinking of all the fun awaiting. Clean? Ridiculous!




I personally have destroyed beyond use 9 pans in calendar year 2005. And I am talking about Farberware & GOOD pans…not the el cheapos. I kept them in a box in garage to maybe “clean up” - eventually. Feb 3 they all went into the garbage. Most had a layer of carbon so thick I could not chisel it off. Remnants of spaghetti sauce, homemade soup, linguine, sautéed onions …. Just a few of the treasures lost forever in the pans innards. Feb 8 they were replaced by a brand new set of gorgeous ,expensive (for me) pans from Sam’s club. Thus far NON are burned up. Well, that is because thus far NONE have been used.

Even though I have a virus check & many spy ware programs, I am convinced there is some “code” in my computer that will not allow me to leave even when I try. Rather like a magnet that affixes to my blood stream? I am hoping to solve this & perhaps win a Nobel prize.

Ah to be like The Raven, dog, Paul_Denton, pcottraux and many others - too busy with bachelorhood joys…. single life of fun & games of checking out the gals, in addition to looking for a house, burying dead fish, drawing cartoons --- why on earth clean?… At least THEY have a good excuse.

Pets add another dimension to this task called Housework. Taking the dogs out for potty & then major walks surely is more important than a clean house. The litter & potty centers for cats must be attended to.. Or else. What is “or else? “ From experience. The potty location will change from the litter area to your closet, bathtub, bed, sofa, linen closet, shoes left out (do they ever get put away?).
You can have every dish in the house dirty & Mount Laundry(penned from Iowa Granny ) up to the ceiling but heaven help you…CLEAN THE CAT BOX

Some Freepers like Lysie & Hair of the Dog also have horses! My what opportunities they provide (I am guessing) to avoid housework. Need to ride them, groom them, get feed, straw/hay(what do you get) for them. Clean the stalls? Think I would rather do dishes personally.




For those happy home makers & stay at home mom’s how many excuses can you have for not having a meal ready?

Headaches -- For 9 weeks?

Broken stove -- unplug it or throw the circuit breaker

cut hand? -- until someone demands to see what is under the Band-Aid!

Devoted day to prayer & meditation… might work.

How many excuses can you have for no clean underwear & towels for your gang?

Headaches? See above

Broken washer/drier? See above

Allergy to soaps… you can milk this one with practice.

Students like Tuliptree76, ilovew; apackof2; jemian;s terror.. School work MUST come before cleaning forgoodnesssakes.


Vacuuming & dusting are some interesting tasks.. Boring as all get out & disgusting but interesting. How so ? Well, the challenges are mammoth in the DollyCali household. In the garage now are 9 vacuum cleaners all NOT working. ALL FAIRLY NEW.. What is wrong? Who knows.

Stuff that can be fixed - sometimes easily & sometimes not: STUCK items in various portions of the mechanism, broken rubber “thingie”, full bag/container.

Yes. It would be good to take the vacuum back.. BUT you need the receipt. HA! And of course you never sent in the warranty.. THIS ONE FOR SURE WONT BREAK.

A few of the broken sweepers are the result of me taking them apart to fix them. Of course when I put them together they have extra parts. So the sweeper & extra parts go in a box.

With this many sweepers you would NOT believe the accessories collection I have. Have not a clue what goes to what. They are all in one of these mammoth plastic bins. All perspective husbands (called dates) are asked if they can fix a vacuum sweeper. Answers are noted.

Housework interruptus - now this is when you are really into shoveling a path and some doggone thing stops you. Like the sound from your computer when you get a ping or Freepmail. Well, while you are there, you might as well check latest articles, latest posts & email. Well then maybe check into your blog and then back to your favorite daily threads.

Or the phone rings.. Of course you did sign up for the do not call list but you would much rather chat with the nice telemarketer than clean. Oh.. And then there is the going to mail box, for newspaper etc.. on the way you pull a few weeds. Three hours later you are hungry & sore & tired. Hungry.. No dishes, go out to eat.. While out,. find other diversions. There is always tomorrow donchaknow.

Anyone have a “Repair Container“. Now this is the little(or big) box, bin, container that you put things that need a button, hem repair, seam redo.. Etc. You get the idea. Mine is pretty big as I have kept it since I was married in 1968. (and not repaired anything) . Now & then it gets weeded away. ALL the socks & underwear eventually went to the dust bin (you know that one that you use to dust).. My dust rag container however never gets touched. That is what cats are for! Dusting!

January 4 of this year.. I was in a clean up mood. I didn’t clean house but threw away most of the dust rags & the major contents of the repair box. Actually lined boxes in garage for feral cats with them. Used a few weeks & then tossed & replaced with more. Golly, why didn’t I think of this sooner.

Interesting fact is the NEXT day - January 5 - I got my first cold in years (decades) .. The blessed thing lasted 3 weeks! Think I am going to succumb to a clean up mood again? Fergettaboutit.

Housework disappearus - I am still working on this one.. But my best ideas is to move into a perfect home & then live in a hotel. Things that can help with this is to stop cooking, doing laundry, sell the kids, give away the pets & end all hobbies that involve more than reading a book. My favorite show in bygone years was “I Dream of Jeannie”… ah to wiggle my nose & have a clean house (not to mention LOOK like her!) Anyone with ideas along this line are welcome to contribute.

Well, it is now time for bed.. Now where is that bed anyway? Must be in this room somewhere..

12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14	THIS WEEK'S THREADS 02-27-06 Military Monday 02-28-06 Ice Castles	Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' Every Thursday at the Finest The guy's good, folks!

[freema]

Lord have mercy, I can't hardly read it I'm laughing so hard!!

Here's the poem I have by the mirror on the back porch...

My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely
and so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.

[MEG33]

lOL!

[DollyCali]

thank you darlin'.... well, I am soon to be climbing over things to find the door & off to walk Toby & Josy.. with his buddies Chance & Tippy.

catch ya all later

[freema]

Mama told me to fill the sink with hot soapy water before grabbing the broom and dust rag to answer the door!

[boxerblues]

I have heard that if the doorbell rings and your house is messy you should answer the door with a broom in one hand and a dusting rag in the other

Lets not forget the bucket of PineSol sitting on steps, the house will always have that just cleaned smell :)

[Majie Purple]

"...if the doorbell rings and your house is messy you should answer the door with a broom in one hand and..."
That's funny, yet great advice too!

[Wheelbarrow]

Oh Dolly: this is fantastic. You could make your fortune going on the humor show stage. Even we single men can relate for what is dust anyway?,,,just rearranged celestial cosmic stuff.

[GodBlessUSA]

LOL Dolly! :)

This is me.

Hmm, should I start the Laundry now or go on Free Republic? ( You know my choice. LOL)

[GodBlessUSA]

:)

[pookie18]

Cute...now stop reading comments & get back in the kitchen woman!!!!

[Jen]

Hi FRiends! I'm avoiding cleaning my house by FReeping and passing on a joke from my mom. Enjoy!

~~~~~

People frequently ask me what I do to make my days interesting since I retired.

Well, I went to WalMart the other day. I was only in there about five minutes. When I came out, there was a police officer writing a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on buddy, how about giving a senior a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Pig. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I don't care though, because my car was parked around the corner and this one had a "Hillary in 08" bumper sticker on it.

I have to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.

[GodBlessUSA]

I'm so very grateful for Chairman_December_19th_Society, for the sacrifices of service for America, our safety and freedom! God Bless our CD19thS, and all our Military Heroes
Thanks Dolly!

[MNJohnnie]

Know how a single Man cleans his home?

-

-

-

He moves.

[dutchess]

Dolly. VERY CUTE THREAD and boy can I relate. If I'm doing a computer project (ie balance the checkbook with quickbooks software), it's 5 minutes with that, open up FreeRepublic, click on the quickbooks software when Mr. D. walks into the room, go to spider solitaire, switch back to quickbooks as Mr. D. walks by. Sigh...it's a rough life!

Back to work! BBL!

[Monkey Face]

Hey! Thanks!

I consider that "Honorable Mention." Emphasis on the "honorable!"

You always have such a great thread, here! Thanks for all the work you put into it.

'Face

[JustAmy]

Good morning, Dolly. Neat thread .... thank you.
I've been looking for some new excuses. :)

Enjoy your walk.

[Gucho]

Housework Avoidus… and the chronic condition: Housework Avoiditis."


Thanks for the ping DC :)

[JustAmy]

[MEG33]

[JustAmy]

Today's holidays and celebrations are:

Beer Day
Pig Day
Peanut Butter Lover's Day
Share A Smile Day



Happy Pig Day!!

Since today is Housecleaning Avoidus Day, Pig Day seems appropriate. :)