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Stick a Fork In John Kerry--He's Done
Boston Herald ^ | 01/22/06 | Howie Carr

Posted on 01/21/2006 8:57:17 PM PST by raccoonradio

John F. Kerry still dreams of becoming the next John F. Kennedy, but he’ll never even reach Ted Kennedy heights, or is it depths?

Not that anyone would ever dare tell Liveshot this. Seldom is heard a discouraging word when you’re a 62-year-old gigolo married to a 67-year-old gold digger worth close to $1 billion.

Ever more delusional, Kerry still fancies that his next job is commander-in-chief. He refuses to face the reality that he’s already well into his final role on the public stage.

He has become the Mike Dukakis of the 21st century.

John Kerry, reporting for doody - er, make that, duty.

The twilight of John Kerry is nicely sketched in an amusing new story about him in GQ, by a writer named Michael Crowley. Everyone in Massachusetts, including his ostensible supporters, knows what a complete fraud Kerry is and always has been, but it’s nice to see the news again reaching a national audience, even if it’s just in a fashion magazine for fops.

Poor John. Lately he’s been on his foreign tour - don’t ask me where; all I do is read the headlines, roll my eyes and immediately turn the page - and he’s still getting slammed back home.

One of the set pieces in the GQ story concerns a speech Mama T’s boy toy made at Georgetown University. It was pretty good, the writer says, but then the junior senator began taking questions from the students.

“The pain of it all came rushing back,” he writes. “Kerry’s responses were brutally long-winded, as if he were intent on slowly suffocating their earnestness with leaden filibusters. Eyes glazed. Yawns unfolded. Even the kids at the mike shifted their weight impatiently.”

Anyone who has ever suffered through a live appearance by Liveshot knows exactly this feeling. After 22 years in the Senate, the scion of the Forbes fortune is an empty suit’s empty suit, a windbag di tutti windbags.

Here’s another quote from the GQ piece, from an anonymous Senate staffer:

“There is this weird cognitive dissonance. You see Kerry in the Dirksen (Senate Office Building) cafeteria getting a salad, and you think, You were inches from becoming president, and now you’re getting your own salad. And it’s not even a good salad.”

Thank God - and the late Sen. Heinz’s trust fund - the junior senator will soon be back in his Sperry Topsiders biking down Hulbert Avenue on Nantucket, and if this parvenu wage slave had ever been to the Chanticleer Inn, he would know that their lobster salads are . . . to die for!

The GQ story mentions a radio interview in which an NYU professor says Kerry said he thinks the 2004 election was “stolen.” Apparently Kerry’s office denies this, but everyone here knows Kerry’s people have been saying the same thing for almost a year.

Amazing, isn’t it? The guy loses by 3 million votes, and he thinks it was “stolen.” It’s beyond cognitive dissonance. If his second wife hadn’t inherited a billion dollars, guys in white coats would be sneaking up behind him with a net.

But Kerry is running again, it’s his destiny, it’s why his initials are JFK. That’s why his equally crazy younger brother Cam Kerry wanted to run for secretary of state this year, to set himself up to run for what would have been the open “Kerry” Senate seat in 2008.

Anyway, it’s a funny story in GQ, and I can only hope it’s read by one group of people in particular - Kerry’s fellow snot-nosed, trust-funded Birkenstock-wearing layabouts who refuse to peel those absurd Kerry-Edwards bumper stickers off their new Volvos.


TOPICS: Editorial; Miscellaneous; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: bostonherald; gq; howiecarr; johnfkerrysucks; johnkerry; kerry2008; liveshot; mikedukakis; tedkennedy
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1 posted on 01/21/2006 8:57:19 PM PST by raccoonradio
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To: raccoonradio

2 posted on 01/21/2006 9:01:11 PM PST by raccoonradio
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To: raccoonradio
Jean Francois is delusional in thinking he has a second chance. If with his fortune, he couldn't beat Bush, how is he going to beat a Republican candidate who isn't Bush on the ballot in 2008? And there's his sheer unlikeability. The only reason the Democrats nominated him two years ago is they didn't have any one else with the gravitas to make a plausible presidential candidate. So if the French windbag wants to blow his millions two years from now, let him go right ahead. History has already passed him by and his 15 minutes of fame are over.

(Denny Crane: "I Don't Want To Socialize With A Pinko Liberal Democrat Commie. Say What You Like About Republicans. We Stick To Our Convictions. Even When We Know We're Dead Wrong.")

3 posted on 01/21/2006 9:03:20 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: raccoonradio

"... a windbag di tutti windbags."

Hilarious, but this one is a rather pompous way of deriding pomposity.


4 posted on 01/21/2006 9:03:24 PM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: raccoonradio

Maybe we should all encourage him...


5 posted on 01/21/2006 9:05:52 PM PST by ziggygrey
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To: raccoonradio

I love when Howie plays the "I'm fascinated by rap" and "I'm the biggest cheesehead around" clips from the '04 campaign. Kerry is such a tool.


6 posted on 01/21/2006 9:06:09 PM PST by ConservativeStatement
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub

Ping


7 posted on 01/21/2006 9:06:16 PM PST by Just A Nobody (I - LOVE - my attitude problem! WBB lives on. Beware the Enemedia.)
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To: raccoonradio
the scion of the Forbes fortune

Excuse me? Say what? Since when?



8 posted on 01/21/2006 9:10:31 PM PST by Cacique (quos Deus vult perdere, prius dementat ( Islamia Delenda Est ))
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To: raccoonradio

John Kerry-Heinz now just John Kerry.


9 posted on 01/21/2006 9:11:09 PM PST by CAWats
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To: raccoonradio

Great read!
Bump.


10 posted on 01/21/2006 9:11:30 PM PST by Jean S
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To: raccoonradio

I love it, what a toon!


11 posted on 01/21/2006 9:11:32 PM PST by Boazo (From the mind of BOAZO)
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To: raccoonradio

Has the Boston Herald always been this "far right", or is it just Howie Carr? At any rate, I enjoyed reading this very much!


12 posted on 01/21/2006 9:12:10 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: ziggygrey

Sounds good to me. I'd love to see Kerry and Gore dukin' it out.

Life has been much too serious lately.


13 posted on 01/21/2006 9:12:32 PM PST by Jedidah
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To: raccoonradio

Ouch! Yaaawn may want to apply for a 4th PH??

Pray for W and OUR Freedom Fighters


14 posted on 01/21/2006 9:12:33 PM PST by bray (President Bush Protects America. The Rats Protect Terrorists.)
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To: Ohioan from Florida

The Herald is mainly to the right. It endorsed President Bush in 2000 and 2004.


15 posted on 01/21/2006 9:14:59 PM PST by ConservativeStatement
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To: Cacique

No. Not THAT Forbes. Kerry is a scion, on his mother's side, of the Forbes family of Massachusetts, not to be confused with the Edinburgh by way of New York Forbes who's most prominent member is Steve.


16 posted on 01/21/2006 9:16:31 PM PST by Clemenza ("Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other “sins” are invented nonsense." -- Robert)
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To: MassRepublicanFlyersFan

Turn up your speakers! John Kerry's greatest audio clips, courtesy of Howie Carr:

http://www.liveshot.cc/liveshot_audio.htm


17 posted on 01/21/2006 9:17:28 PM PST by LibFreeOrDie (L'Chaim!)
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To: MassRepublicanFlyersFan

Wow! A right-leaning paper in a left-leaning town! Wish we could get one here in Columbus!!


18 posted on 01/21/2006 9:17:57 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: raccoonradio
" Kerry’s fellow snot-nosed, trust-funded Birkenstock-wearing layabouts who refuse to peel those absurd Kerry-Edwards bumper stickers off their new Volvos."

Now there's a statement worth repeating.

19 posted on 01/21/2006 9:18:15 PM PST by DJ Taylor (Once again our country is at war, and once again the Democrats have sided with our enemy.)
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To: Jedidah
Sounds good to me. I'd love to see Kerry and Gore dukin' it out.

Yes, the dems would be banging their heads into walls in complete frustration, and the rest of us would be laughing so hard we couldn't see straight. Bring it on!

20 posted on 01/21/2006 9:18:35 PM PST by hsalaw
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