Posted on 01/14/2006 12:02:09 PM PST by wagglebee
WHEN A MILITARY chaplain appeared on ABC News last week talking about how pornography is becoming a problem for troops overseas, I listened. When the chaplain said real women at home couldn’t measure up to the impossible pictures, I thought of this woman I had seen years ago in a bookstore on base in Japan.
I shouldn’t remember her. The woman was not one of those people you even notice, much less remember. She had no distinct hair color, no charm of face. She reminded me of wide egg noodles and cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice.
But I noticed her when her sailor husband handed her a stack of magazines maybe 5 inches thick. Penthouse. Playboy. Hustler. Worse. He must have picked up every single porn mag the bookstore offered.
While I watched and the people behind me watched, the wife took the stack from him. She held it in hands that had probably stroked his face, patted his back, clutched his thighs. She handed the stack to a clerk. Then, in front of a line of 10 people, with her husband waiting impatiently by the door, she slowly signed her name to the bottom of her personal check. She did it as if pornography were something you brought home weekly, like milk or eggs or Minute Rice.
Until that moment, I’d always thought pornography was no big deal, a boys-will-be-boys kind of thing. Seeing her in person shook me – her pasty face, her quiet resignation.
So I paid attention to the news segment. It talked about these 11,000 sexual purity kits that are going to military members in Iraq. Following the popular “Every Man’s Battle” series from New Life Ministries, the kits promote Bible-based abstinence: no pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex or masturbation.
I heard that and kind of winced. It seemed too old fashioned a solution for a time when pornography is as available as a paper-wrapped burger. It made me think of some of those goofy venereal disease movies from World War II.
It also made me think of two couples I know who have divorced over pornography addiction, and the stories I read every week about how it’s becoming more of a problem for every age group.
But a religious text? I just didn’t know. I picked up a copy of one of the books at a Christian bookstore. At first I was uncomfortable reading it. I’m Christian. I practice my faith, but this book was written by men who are far more zealous in their faith than I am in mine.
The authors write about sexual purity and a man’s relationship to God. Their recommendations seem a little extreme – suggesting that men avoid not only pornography but also magazine advertisements and movies with a rating over PG-13.
The more I read, the more I understood why the chaplains had ordered the book. The second half of the book is about protecting the marriage. It talks about how to handle yourself if you become attracted to someone else. It offers a behavior strategy should someone become attracted to you.
The authors don’t say if; they say when. They don’t write as though men are idiots or slaves of passion. They remind their male readers to honor and cherish the women they married, to remember what their wives gave up to be married to them.
I am a little leery when it comes to imposing a specific faith’s teachings on military men. Still, I can’t stop thinking about that woman in the bookstore. I can’t stop thinking about her husband. This sexual purity kit is a tool that chaplains are turning to to help families like that one. It isn’t the only tool against pornography, but it certainly may be the most powerful one yet.
If it hadn't been brought up in court, it would have been a private matter.
LOL! "Sexual purity kits." I gotta remember that line.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5430343841227974645
Is her photo included in the Sexual Purity Kits?
If they want the kits to be popular, it is. ; )
A good place to hide Playboy mags is in the Sexual Purity Kit.
I bet there are tons of Sexual Purity Kit jokes among the troops.
thank you...but I'm not speaking at all from hard learned experiences. I love my husband... I want him to be happy. When he's happy, I'm happy. It's as simple as that.
Wouldn't be surprised...
So why bother with lace undies or mood music or wine or silk sheets or poetry or whatever enhances the mood? Why bother with different positions? Isn't your spouse enough that you can do it the same way every time and enjoy it just as much?
While not a military wife, let me tell you a bit about the break up of my marriage and would I would qualify as Internet porn and it’s destructive effect on marriage.
First off I am not a moralist or a prude. If a couple mutually enjoys the erotic benefits of porn or erotica, more power to them. And BTW Swiss, as a woman I think good sex is very important in a relationship between a man and woman.
My ex enjoyed porn but always seemed guilty about it even though I wasn’t judgmental about it even though it wasn’t my cup of tea (didn’t do much for me). I was still open minded and supportive of what the fantasy of porn could do for him that perhaps I couldn’t
Heck I even asked him to pick up a Playboy or Penthouse when there was an interview like the one Playboy did with Rush Limbaugh that I was interested in reading. And yes I liked reading the articles.
But when he became more and more secretive about his Internet activities I got curious and found out among other things, he was active in a website named “Married and Flirting” and let me tell you there was a lot more going on their than just flirting. His online relationship with one woman in particular ended our marriage.
Fantasy is one thing but when the fantasy obscures the value of the real live mate, it can result in complete devastation of the relationship.
When porn or a virtual relationship becomes more important than the spouse or mate, it is a problem.
Any time I feel tempted I just break out my emergency Sexual Purity Kit and one stare at the enclosed photo of Helen Thomas does the trick for me...it KILLS any thoughts of sex.
True -- But that's also true of job or a hobby or anything else that takes the focus too much from the relationship.
Agreed but focus on a job or hobby doesn't hurt nealy as much as focus on another woman.
Mr Extreme, you arent even close on this one. I dont have time to lay out the particulars, but almost 19 years of service paint you to be ignorant in the extreme on this one.
On the contrary, as a "New Soviet Woman" who wants most Americans to live on collective farms Helen Thomas is probably pretty experienced at cranking a tractor. ;)
I've been saving my sexual purity for when I marry Paris Hilton. The Sexual Purity Kits have been a great aid to me in this endeavor. < /product endorsement>
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