Skip to comments.On the offensive to protect marriages from assault of porn
Posted on 01/14/2006 12:02:09 PM PST by wagglebee
WHEN A MILITARY chaplain appeared on ABC News last week talking about how pornography is becoming a problem for troops overseas, I listened. When the chaplain said real women at home couldnt measure up to the impossible pictures, I thought of this woman I had seen years ago in a bookstore on base in Japan.
I shouldnt remember her. The woman was not one of those people you even notice, much less remember. She had no distinct hair color, no charm of face. She reminded me of wide egg noodles and cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice.
But I noticed her when her sailor husband handed her a stack of magazines maybe 5 inches thick. Penthouse. Playboy. Hustler. Worse. He must have picked up every single porn mag the bookstore offered.
While I watched and the people behind me watched, the wife took the stack from him. She held it in hands that had probably stroked his face, patted his back, clutched his thighs. She handed the stack to a clerk. Then, in front of a line of 10 people, with her husband waiting impatiently by the door, she slowly signed her name to the bottom of her personal check. She did it as if pornography were something you brought home weekly, like milk or eggs or Minute Rice.
Until that moment, Id always thought pornography was no big deal, a boys-will-be-boys kind of thing. Seeing her in person shook me her pasty face, her quiet resignation.
So I paid attention to the news segment. It talked about these 11,000 sexual purity kits that are going to military members in Iraq. Following the popular Every Mans Battle series from New Life Ministries, the kits promote Bible-based abstinence: no pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex or masturbation.
I heard that and kind of winced. It seemed too old fashioned a solution for a time when pornography is as available as a paper-wrapped burger. It made me think of some of those goofy venereal disease movies from World War II.
It also made me think of two couples I know who have divorced over pornography addiction, and the stories I read every week about how its becoming more of a problem for every age group.
But a religious text? I just didnt know. I picked up a copy of one of the books at a Christian bookstore. At first I was uncomfortable reading it. Im Christian. I practice my faith, but this book was written by men who are far more zealous in their faith than I am in mine.
The authors write about sexual purity and a mans relationship to God. Their recommendations seem a little extreme suggesting that men avoid not only pornography but also magazine advertisements and movies with a rating over PG-13.
The more I read, the more I understood why the chaplains had ordered the book. The second half of the book is about protecting the marriage. It talks about how to handle yourself if you become attracted to someone else. It offers a behavior strategy should someone become attracted to you.
The authors dont say if; they say when. They dont write as though men are idiots or slaves of passion. They remind their male readers to honor and cherish the women they married, to remember what their wives gave up to be married to them.
I am a little leery when it comes to imposing a specific faiths teachings on military men. Still, I cant stop thinking about that woman in the bookstore. I cant stop thinking about her husband. This sexual purity kit is a tool that chaplains are turning to to help families like that one. It isnt the only tool against pornography, but it certainly may be the most powerful one yet.
This is a great article on military families and the temptations they face (not necessarily for you but for others).
I guess the text of this kit must be on the web somewhere?
Moral Absolutes Ping.
Little Jeremiah should be back to pinging this list sometime today.
And how many non-fiction men can measure up to the fictional men in the "romance novels" that so many women read incessantly?
Reminds me of the people who tell alcoholics, "Just stop drinking." This woman has no idea of why men use porn. It's always so easy to condemn another person's sin, one that you, yourself don't practice...
Does the military still hand out condoms? That seems at odds with this program.
As if porn is a big breaker-upperer of marriage?
This is all true and very timely. Yes, Christian men are being assaulted by Satan"s used car salesmen, the powers of the air.
That's yet another front on which God's plan of marriage is under attack. Christians need to 1. seek God and trust Him to bring us through and 2. fight Satan with weapons which are not carnal.
You mean our soldiers overseas don't act like a bunch of choirboys? Im shocked! Shocked! /s
A lot of people must have weak marriages if they are constantly "threatened" by porn, gay marriage issues, etc...
Cheaper than dating. ; )
When my wife and I married, our porn collections merged with the rest of our collections. Both of us continue to enjoy porn. In fact, when we go to a adult book store, it's usually at her suggestion not mine.
Our marriage is based as much on shared values and friendship, as it is on romance. Both of us are quite aware of the difference between fantasy and reality. Because of this, pornography does not pose a threat to our marriage. Nor does porn threaten any marriage that is based on a stable foundation.
And pr0n isn't exclusively a guy thing. Granted, guys look at it a lot more than girls do, but, well, how can I put this... the couple that watches pr0n together, umm, does other stuff together. And stays together.
I think money, alcohol, work (too much or too little) and a dozen other things cause more marital strain than porn.
LOL! Cheaper than divorce, too.
You mean a person could not practice abstinence without then going out and raping someone?
I have been baffed over this often. Professional or porn based on degradation, S&M, Yes, I suppose. Videos of exhibitionistic couples having a good time simply creates a party atmsophere for us; We have both rented them. And we both fight over who gets to rake the front lawn, in order to observe the joggers.
We are married (To the original people..that's the Hard Way) Forty Years this year.
There has to be something fundamentally wrong with a marriage in the first place if it is so easily undermined by entertainment. Maybe people fail to keep it in perspective? We started out good-enough looking in the first place that we were not imagining any video characters as replacements; The attitude has endured though we are currently, well...OK..Fat, Old, and Ugly.
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