Replies

I'm kind of surprised at the number of people on here who are putting so much effort into convincing all of us that pornography is not a vice, and that it does no harm whatsoever to a relationship. Heck, people here are even claiming it helps marriages. In my opinion, that's just plain delusional.

For those that say that pornography is perfectly acceptable when the spouses are apart in order to help "relieve" some of the urges, my question is: why can't you become excited looking at pictures of your own spouse? Or, for that matter, why do you need pictures at all? You can't vividly remember the last time you had really great sex with your spouse, and focus on that, assuming that your goal is simply to achieve release? If the answer is no, then you have a problem and porn is not the solution - it is just a substitution.

I ask the same question for those who claim that a couple can watch porn together to enhance their relationship. Why is it that your spouse is not enough to get you excited? Why would looking at other people having sex on a two-dimensional screen be more exciting than actually looking at and touching a live, warm body next to you? The answer is, again, in my opinion, that you have a problem and porn is just a substitution for the real solution.

Porn is a vice. It's like alcohol: it's understandable if you succomb to the temptation to have a little now and then, but if you're going on a binge regularly, then you've got a problem and it will affect your life. I have a little too much to drink now and then, but I would never hold up that behavior as helathy or virtuous. Likewise, I look at porn now and then, too, but I would never be self-delusional enough to say that it enhances my life. Nor would I try to claim that it is not at least somewhat disrespectful to the lady in my life to be blatantly lusting after other women, whether real or on-screen.

A final note about porn is that it tends to desensitize people to normal sex, if they view too much. If you're not careful, you'll start out watching two people making love on a picnic blanket out in a meadow, and a few months later you'll be satisfied by nothing less than a six-way orgy involving major appliances, both electric and gas-powered, barn animals, and a bull-whip.

I ask the same question for those who claim that a couple can watch porn together to enhance their relationship. Why is it that your spouse is not enough to get you excited? Why would looking at other people having sex on a two-dimensional screen be more exciting than actually looking at and touching a live, warm body next to you?

So why bother with lace undies or mood music or wine or silk sheets or poetry or whatever enhances the mood? Why bother with different positions? Isn't your spouse enough that you can do it the same way every time and enjoy it just as much?

Any time I feel tempted I just break out my emergency Sexual Purity Kit and one stare at the enclosed photo of Helen Thomas does the trick for me...it KILLS any thoughts of sex.

Heck, people here are even claiming it helps marriages. In my opinion, that's just plain delusional.

You can't tell someone who speaks from experience that he is delusional. That's just a non-starter.

my question is: why can't you become excited looking at pictures of your own spouse?

Because she refuses to pose for me. Perhaps you can recommend a stratagem?

Why is it that your spouse is not enough to get you excited?

The flaw in your argument is that, for some people, their spouse just isn't enough. It's all well and good to say, "then just make do" or "that means there's something wrong with you", but putting aside the porn will not cure that. At least with the porn, they share some intimacy. Do you really think that by closing that off, they're going to improve their relationship?

Personally, I have rather the opposite problem: my spouse's main objection to porn is that I already pester her too much without the additional stimulation.

I have a little too much to drink now and then, but I would never hold up that behavior as helathy or virtuous.

One or two drinks per day really is optimal for health. All things in moderation.

If you're not careful, you'll start out watching two people making love on a picnic blanket out in a meadow, and a few months later you'll be satisfied by nothing less than a six-way orgy involving major appliances, both electric and gas-powered, barn animals, and a bull-whip.

Now you're delusional. Oh, er, wait...nevermind.

No offense, but you don't know what you're talking about. Like anything, too much porn is a bad thing, so are you saying we should outlaw porn because of the few who overdue it? The obvious analogy would be alcohol or tobacco. There are millions of couples who use porn to enrich their sex life. ....THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.