Posted on 01/12/2006 5:29:53 PM PST by Phil Southern
Hello fellow Freepers,
I always note the fact that the posters here generally respond with candor I can appreciate even though I may not always agree. That is why I am asking for advice in dealing with what could be a serious, saddening problem of which I have been made aware.
Today, when I picked up my son from daycare, the daycare worker pulled me aside and informed me that other children at the daycare came to her to say that the driver of the bus they ride (from school to daycare in the afternoon), has been mean and rude to my son. Specific statements were "yelling" ,"yelling shut-up", and possibly other things. The children who came forward are "4th or 5th" graders. I asked her if other kids confirmed the information, and she said that more than one other student did confirm, with some saying the actions happen "some of the time", and others saying "all the time".
A bit of background is necessary. My son is high-function disabled. He has a mild case of CP; he walks on his own with a pronounced limp (no aids). He has severe-profound hearing loss and wears hearing aids. He actually hears about as good as your grandmother/grandfather who is tone deaf.....but his disadvantage is he never heard well to begin with. He is a "good" boy, but can be loud at times. He is almost universally responsive and respectful of authority....but has a short attention span. In short I do think he is a good bus rider, and sometimes needs admonition. My son is 7 years old and is in regular kindergarten with a tutor/aide (Your tax dollars at work, with my thanks).
I have history with this bus driver. Last year, **2** days before the end of school, Joe first rode the same bus to daycare in the afternoon (as a test to see how he faired at the daycare where he would go during the summer). On the second day the driver in question approached my son's aide to say that my son could not ride the bus because he yelled, and would not stay seated. I promptly approached the school system contact I knew and it was arranged for my son to ride a different bus......and I was told that the bus driver in question had been reassigned before, and had trouble when he was the driver of the "special-education" bus (AKA "the short-bus"---no offense meant or taken---we do appreciate good and bad humor). I was assured at the time that he would not be riding with the same driver again this year......but nothing I know about was ever said or done other than reassign my child to a different bus. Also, I was told there is even an assistant on the bus, purpose unknown(not specifically for my son, anyway). This particular bus is not a "short-bus". There have also been instances lately of my child not wanting to ride the bus, or asking to ride a different bus....which until now I had attributed to other things.
My questions.......how far should I take this? My first instinct is that my son can be intimidating, but is a good traveler and respects authority. I told myself last year that a bus driver should not driving a bus full of kids if they couldn't deal with kids. I'm incensed on several different levels.....but I also don't want to be "over-protective" or heedless of the needs of others. I also know that my son, at this point, is TOTALLY innocent, not hateful, not mean, and only expects kindness and smiles from ALL adults. If any of you freepers want to see a picture of us....contact me privately.
I am in need of advice, and will answer any questions if there is something unclear. Thanks in advance,
Phil
I agree with the posters who say that if the other children are seeking help, the situation is not good at all.
I do question why last year on the 2nd day you requested a different bus driver rather than instructing your son to stay in his seat and remain quiet while on the bus.
Never ask for advice unless you want it. If your son is loud and intimidating, you should find alternate transportation rather than complain that your child should receive a "special" bus driver. You are basically blaming the bus driver for your child's behavior. There is no reason your son can't be quiet on a bus. One loud kid tends to start a tsunami of loud kids.
I am with you on this one. Don't take no for an answer.
I drove my kids to and from school every day until my oldest daughter was old enough to drive and take herself to high school. Her first day of school the bus driver left her off at the wrong gate at the elementary school and she was lost just walking around. After that I took my three kids to school and picked them up.
In Yucaipa one time a bus driver got mad, quit in the middle of the route, told the kids to all get off the bus and took it back to the bus garage, got in the car, and left. My best friend's daughter was on that bus and it took the school over an hour to find the kids after they didn't come home.
Call me an overprotective Mom but I didn't trust my kids to bus drivers. I was fortunate that I was able to accompany my kids on field trips and drive them to and from school. Had a bus driver one time on a field trip that didn't know how to drive a manual shift and one of the band kid's had to help the guy shift -- was sure I wasn't going to make it home alive as the guy kept killing the engine at stop lights.
This is the best advice I've seen so far. It's always best to avoid triangulation if possible. Unconfrontational face to face will likely solve the problem.
My response is not as the parent of kids who ride a bus. I take my kids to school. If this is a special ed bus, it could have autistic children on it. A loud child is a nightmare to some autistic children. Most special ed buses I have experience with are pretty quiet.
Phil Southern wrote: "...Today, when I picked up my son from daycare, the daycare worker... informed me that other children ... came to her to say that the driver of the bus ... has been mean and rude to my son... 'yelling', 'yelling shut-up,' and possibly other things..."
"...more than one other student did confirm, with some saying the actions happen 'some of the time' and others saying 'all the time'..."
That's the portrait of an out of control bus driver. He/she should not be involved with children, let alone driving a bus on public streets.
The report by the day care worker is a gift to you. What you do with it may influence whether the day care worker and reporting kids ever report any other adult's inappropriate behavior.
Imagine your horror had the bus driver's behavior deteriorated further yet no one had bothered to inform you at this stage of the bus driver's bad behavior.
This is a gift to your son, who for whatever reasons, has been unable to relay his problems to you about riding on that bus.
Make good use of the information by making other arrangements for your son's transportation now. Get him off that bus and away from that driver.
Then take this gift of information given to you and report that driver so that no other children or drivers on the road have to suffer a bad bus driver's inappropriate behavior.
The situation is not as you surmise, though I do not doubt and have witnessed your premise. All of our close family work, his mom/my wife died last year, and the daycare is a great environment for him.
1] Find out if the Bus has oboard cameras and if so tell the Drivers dispatch or administrator you would like her/him and your self to reveiw such cameras and their contents Sonme schools have them some don't
2] Your child although some may not like to say including yourself is a special needs child and if those special needs are not catered to in a fashion that is respectable to your child and you dependng on what state your in you could threaten to take legal action !
That in most cases takes care of the problem schools and daycares don't like don't like dirty laundry .
3] Find out the facts first talk to the other kids parents and find out if it's ok to meet them and the other kids at the school with the principle in attendence always get the facts first.
The principle or other aurthority may want to give his driver another chance after the facts come out if so tell them you want a mobile camera installed into the bus for the security of your child and others DO THIS in front of the other parents !
this will force the principle or authorities hand into at least having to do something
4] If none of the above works talk to an atourny and have them threaten legal action and have him go directly to the school board because the principle is not doing his /her job .
Good Luck
Phil- Public school employees are *your* employees. Adults in authority should not be telling children to *shut up*. There are proper procedures if the adult bus driver had issues with your child, or did not feel your child was controllable for whatever reason- this bus driver did not follow procedure. If it were me I would demand that the bus driver be moved to a different route if not fired.
He is a generally well behaved child. Before the death of his mom, he attended a school for the deaf, at which he stayed during the week. He had a 2 hour bus ride many times (school bus) and longer on a greyhound style bus. We never had a problem then, and I asked. I take very seriously the behavior of my son. He speech and hearing are a major issue, but he understands and is respectful. I am not overbearing, but I do not tolerate or expect less than good behavior.
I REALLY like this idea.......
My suggestion is don't ride the bus.
That's a positively hateful assumption. You should be ashamed.
3.I know it's hard when it's your kid but maybe the driver has had it and is Po'ed - still no excuse.
4. Somebody else may have said it - go talk to the driver in an open and clam manner. It maybe that the problem can be solved that way.
5. This one stinks but get a lawyer. My experience is that one lawyer call and MANY problems get magically solved.
It might be asking a bit much for a school bus driver to be safe and civil. If taking him to school is too much burden then maybe you can send him to a private school or home school.
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