Posted on 01/12/2006 5:29:53 PM PST by Phil Southern
Hello fellow Freepers,
I always note the fact that the posters here generally respond with candor I can appreciate even though I may not always agree. That is why I am asking for advice in dealing with what could be a serious, saddening problem of which I have been made aware.
Today, when I picked up my son from daycare, the daycare worker pulled me aside and informed me that other children at the daycare came to her to say that the driver of the bus they ride (from school to daycare in the afternoon), has been mean and rude to my son. Specific statements were "yelling" ,"yelling shut-up", and possibly other things. The children who came forward are "4th or 5th" graders. I asked her if other kids confirmed the information, and she said that more than one other student did confirm, with some saying the actions happen "some of the time", and others saying "all the time".
A bit of background is necessary. My son is high-function disabled. He has a mild case of CP; he walks on his own with a pronounced limp (no aids). He has severe-profound hearing loss and wears hearing aids. He actually hears about as good as your grandmother/grandfather who is tone deaf.....but his disadvantage is he never heard well to begin with. He is a "good" boy, but can be loud at times. He is almost universally responsive and respectful of authority....but has a short attention span. In short I do think he is a good bus rider, and sometimes needs admonition. My son is 7 years old and is in regular kindergarten with a tutor/aide (Your tax dollars at work, with my thanks).
I have history with this bus driver. Last year, **2** days before the end of school, Joe first rode the same bus to daycare in the afternoon (as a test to see how he faired at the daycare where he would go during the summer). On the second day the driver in question approached my son's aide to say that my son could not ride the bus because he yelled, and would not stay seated. I promptly approached the school system contact I knew and it was arranged for my son to ride a different bus......and I was told that the bus driver in question had been reassigned before, and had trouble when he was the driver of the "special-education" bus (AKA "the short-bus"---no offense meant or taken---we do appreciate good and bad humor). I was assured at the time that he would not be riding with the same driver again this year......but nothing I know about was ever said or done other than reassign my child to a different bus. Also, I was told there is even an assistant on the bus, purpose unknown(not specifically for my son, anyway). This particular bus is not a "short-bus". There have also been instances lately of my child not wanting to ride the bus, or asking to ride a different bus....which until now I had attributed to other things.
My questions.......how far should I take this? My first instinct is that my son can be intimidating, but is a good traveler and respects authority. I told myself last year that a bus driver should not driving a bus full of kids if they couldn't deal with kids. I'm incensed on several different levels.....but I also don't want to be "over-protective" or heedless of the needs of others. I also know that my son, at this point, is TOTALLY innocent, not hateful, not mean, and only expects kindness and smiles from ALL adults. If any of you freepers want to see a picture of us....contact me privately.
I am in need of advice, and will answer any questions if there is something unclear. Thanks in advance,
Phil
If the situation doesn't improve, I would talk to the principle at the school.
I'm assuming that you do not have the means to take him to and from school yourself, but have you looked into a private bus service?
Or maybe a non-working family friend?
Read her the "Riot Act". Tell her it will be her job if she keeps it up. Just one more time...
The driver says he yells and won't be seated. Is that accurate?
If so, then it would seem your son's behavior is an issue that needs to be addressed at one level or another.
Aside from talking to the bus driver and the principal (the principal is your "pal") ...uh...you might begin to let your own son know that his own hearing difficulties lead to him speaking loudly in certain environments. My guess is a combination of all three would do the trick.
If this is a 2 parent family, Do you and spouse both work and use this as an excuse for sending this poor child to daycare?
Talk it over with the principal and ask if it is possible to have an older child sit with your son as a peer mentor, kind of like a social behavior tutor. It could be treated as an honor to the kid selected.
You are your son's champion. You are his protection against all things bad. It's your job to streighten this out by whatever means you need to employ. Too bad if they don't like you. It's your job. No one else will do it for your son with the same absolute concern for his benefit as will you.
Sometimes cubs NEED mama tigers.
(The guys a jerk!)
My gut reaction is that if other kids are reporting it to the point that the daycare worker takes it seriously rather than brushing it off as "just kids" then there is a serious problem with the driver.
The driver's behavior is obviously disturbing the other kids enough that they are trying to get help.
Does the driver work for the school or a bus company that contracts with the school? I think you need to make a complaint about the issue, especially since the driver has "history".
Even if the bus driver's expectations are unreasonable, it's not safe for anyone on the bus for there to be conflict between the driver and a passenger. The driver needs to be concentrating on driving!
If a discussion/explanation with the bus driver doesn't resolve the issues, then I would look into another form of transportation, for the safety of all involved.
Another possibility would be to ask for a monitor or assistant for your son on the bus, if he's really having problems behaving appropriately. Maybe an older student who's travelling the same route would volunteer to be your son's "buddy" and encourage him in good behavior.
Being a "mamma tiger" is fine is the situation warrants it.
If he is speaking with a loud voice, the driver is right to be concerned. However, yelling at your son is unnecessary and unsafe.
The little guy's relatively helpless; and it sounds like the guy's taking advantage of the condition.
"I was told that the bus driver in question had been reassigned before, and had trouble when he was the driver of the "special-education" bus"
The bus driver is a known problem. Report him.
Does your school district equip the busses with cameras? Perhaps there is a way that you and the school administration could review the tapes?
I have seen disabled, (as well as abled) children get out of control or difficult on the ride home. It's been a long day and the revved up bus kids wind each other up. It may be too much for your son.
Ask to see the video of your son's and the bus drivers behavior. You'll be better able to judge the situation after seeing it for yourself.
Schools, like other bureaucracies, have a particular food chain. I don't know from your post, but if you've been dealing with the principal or the school, you're spinning your wheels.
Bus drivers are not under the school, but the transportation department and the district.
Call the Head of the transportation department and discuss it with him/her.
If that doesn't work, contact the Superintendent of the district.
politely explain if this matter is not handled promptly and to your satisfaction, you will approach the board, perhaps even going further, if necessary.
there is no need to tolerate this moronic behavior. the driver needs to be replaced; perhaps night custodial work will do.
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