A Few of FR's Finest..Every Day..01-11-06..Americans Resolve to Stay at Home in 2006

National Ledger ^ | January 11, 2006 | Chris Davis, Writer33; DollyCali

[DollyCali]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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Americans RESOLVE
to Stay at Home in 2006

by guest satirist Writer33

Washington — Shaken, battered and beaten, Americans—detailing atrocities in a report to Congress—have resolved to stay home in 2006. The New Year’s resolution came after storms, the war in Iraq and President Bush ripped across the country, terrifying many in this beleaguered nation.

For many, the terror from Hurricane Katrina was a stark reminder as it tore across the Gulf Coast, flooding, pillaging and terrorizing African Americans in New Orleans. The body count topped 1,300, and damage took its toll on a disheartened American public. The flooding shone a spotlight on incompetence, poor planning and an uncaring Bush administration that crippled rescue and relief efforts, adding to the suffering of victims, and frustrating taxpayers and congressmen seeking political gain.

“The whole experience was terrifying,” cried James Thomas, a 25-year African American and resident of New Orleans. “There were SWAT teams everywhere. They were using flash and smoke grenades. They burst into our home with guns blazing. We had to pull out a white sheet to keep from being shot, and then we had to prove we owned the home. What else would you expect from the Bush administration? It was horrible!”

“We had orders to shoot any African American that moved,” stated Captain Ron Hammerstein, a 42-year old SWAT team commander. “All I know is that the orders came from the top. I was ready, willing and able.”

“The nightly reports of the atrocities at the Superdome in New Orleans did it for me,” whined Joe Hammerhuff, a 16-year old high school student from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. “I’m never going to school again. It’s too scary out there.”

Even though New Orleans was horrible, the stomachs of many Americans were turned at the constant reminder of insurgency in Iraq with the lack of progress evident in every nightly news report. The shadow of constant violence shook many in this nation as the insurgents proved to be an unrelenting and hauntingly self-renewing force, attacking civilians, journalists and coalition forces.

“I know I could turn on CNN and was constantly reminded of how miserable things were in Iraq,” said Dawn Klymer, a 24-year old unemployed welfare recipient. “If Mr. Bush can’t get us out of Iraq, how’s he going to protect Americans? I know the only time I’m getting out of the house is to pick up my food stamps and welfare check. Otherwise, I’m staying home. There are too many terrorists out there, and occupying Iraq is only making it worse.”

The panic and fear grew larger as health officials braced for the threat of a global avian flu pandemic. By the middle of December, more than 35 people of the billions worldwide had died in 2005 as a result of the virus. The devastation sent many Americans scrambling for bottled water, crackers and mixed nuts as they wait for President Bush to do something about it.

“I’ve called in to work for 2 weeks straight,” said John Bostoe, his hands trembling as he tried to light another cigarette. “Yesterday, they told me not to bother coming back to work. That’s fine for me. I’m not going to get the bird flu. We’ll see who has the last laugh.”

Bird flu wasn’t as terrible as the frenzy that broke out upon the nomination of John Roberts to the Supreme Court. John Roberts, 50, initially tapped to fill O’Connor’s seat, was swiftly approved to succeed Rehnquist, becoming the 17th U.S. chief justice, and sending a shockwave of fear across the nation.

“When I learned of his stance on abortion,” crowed Joe Katazkian, a 36-year old interior decorator. “I hyperventilated for almost half an hour. That man really scares me. Only Antonin Scalia scares me more. That’s why I’m staying home in ’06.”

“It’s only a matter of time before Roberts strikes down our civil liberties. When will this Bush regime end? Please, God, let it end soon,” begged Maureen Hamlin, a 44-year old Boston, MA, resident. “I’m staying home until it does. I’m afraid of what will happen to me if I go outside.”

Despite the nomination of John Roberts, it would be U.S. oil companies that would spread more fear than created by the Great Depression across the fruited planes. Energy prices—already pushed higher by the Iraq War, sharply increasing demand from China and India, and greedy oil companies—spiked in September when Hurricanes Katrina and Rita disrupted refining and distribution capacity, sending the average gasoline price above three dollars per gallon.

“Seeing gasoline prices higher than a gallon of milk or bottle of water, almost gave me a heart attack,” said Rush Limbaugh, a 54-year old conservative radio talk show host. “I’m never leaving home in 2006. It cost far too much for jet fuel!”

“Gas prices were atrocious,” yelled John Finklesteen, a 44-year old attorney. “I could barely afford to drive my Cadillac Escalade in my commute from Seattle to Bremerton, Washington. Somebody ought to do something about those greedy oil companies. I’m doing all my work from home this year. Prices are just outrageous!”

From Hurricane Katrina to the failure in Iraq, Americans have resolved to stay at home in 2006, not participating in the gloomy outlook. Desperation has kicked in as families are stocking up on peanut butter and jelly, tuna fish and chicken salad. The American people are clenching their fists and biting their nails in what appears to be another brutal year as gas prices rise and congressional elections loom.

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Meet Chris Davis
Freeper Writer33

Chris entered the military in 1989. He served as a Combat Medic, during Panama, Desert Storm, and many other deployments, between 1989-1992. He exited the military after Desert Storm and married his wife, Karol, prior to reentering in 1996.

He served as a Multiple Launch Rocket Systems crew chief. On his deployment to White Sands Missile Range, he contemplated the role of the modern soldier in the world of today¡¦s politics. It was here that he started to write short stories, conservative commentary and political satires.

His passion for the military in his writing continued in college. There, he began his novel. His first novel, Elective Decisions, (ISBN, 1-59374-121-9) released by the Whiskey Creek Press in June of 2004. His second book, In Defense of Liberty, was released in March of 2005 by the Whiskey Creek Press.

He has also written for The National Ledger, Chronwatch, Men¡¦s New Daily, MichNews.com and The Reality Check.org. He is currently a bookkeeper in Carson City, Nevada, where he also resides with is wife, Karol, mother-n-law, Elma.

Writer33 Finest Thread

Writer33 Profile Page

Writer33 In Forum

riter33

12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 01-09-06 Military Monday 01-10-06 Turning the Tables

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' Every Thursday at the Finest The guy's good, folks!

[DollyCali]

[DollyCali]

Americans RESOLVE
to Stay at Home in 2006

Sorry if you are receiving a duplicate ping.
Both Writer33 and the Finest Lists are being pinged
You may be on both.

[pcottraux]

Hey Dolly. Did you happen to catch tonight's FReeptoon?

[MJY1288]

Chris, You are the best, I will never forget your letter to Rush, he read "ON AIR" and was very touched by your remarks.

"The Passion" is a good metaphor for the influence Rush Limbaugh has had on all of us.

I can't think of a better Freeper to be honored as "One of FR's Finest"

[DollyCali]

no not yet (why don't you post the link here & perhaps more can visit). Have been out earlier & finishing up this thread afterward. will get there later.

[DollyCali]

Amen! He is great! Thanks for stopping by Mike

[pcottraux]

You know what? That's a good idea. Here's a link to pcottraux's Tuesday Night Cartoon.

[writer33]

Thank you, MJY. I appreciate it. It was one of those moments you never forget. And don't forget his birthday comes up on Friday.

Born, January 12, 1951, in Cape Girardeau, Missouri.

[MJY1288]

No! Thank You Chris, I appreciate your humor, but I appreciate your outlook even more. Your "thank you letter" to Rush is something I wish I had written for Ronald Reagan, because Ronald Reagan was the person I wish I could have sent such a powerful letter to.

Rush Limbaugh would tell you that his passion comes from the leadership of our mutual hero "Ronald Wilson Reagan" aka "Dutch" aka "Gipper"

[DollyCali]

Chris, if you have a link to the Rush letter, please post it.. I guess I missed it & it sounds like I REALLY MISSED SOMETHING GOOD!

[MJY1288]

You certainly did :-)

[writer33]

No, you haven't missed anything. MJY talking about the one on my profile. The essay. But I can post the link with the two threads on that day as well.

[DollyCali]

I hope Chris will agree to write for us often & in that spirit I have devised a few graphics that I would like to explain(wouldn't it be nice if our brainstorms were crystal clear to all who observe?)

Chris has hobbies outside of FRee Republic/writing...SHOCK, SHOCK, SHOCK.

Among them are boating and fishing.

NOW, we all KNOW that MOST fisherman tell tall tales.... about the BIG one that got away. And most of them tell tall & funny & memorable tales about other things in life. Chris is among them... thus his Tales from the Pond... guess his pond is his persona if you will.....and we can see him graphically with the big one... that all fishermen have caught over the years, although we know that many of them "get away"...

ahem....

[writer33]

I'm trying to dig up that essay on Reagan after his passing, MY. Stand by for that as well.

[DollyCali]

well, that shows how thoroughly ADDH DollyCali reviewed your profile page! yes, please do post the exact links?

[writer33]

Here are a couple of links to the threads that were going on that day:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1066525/posts

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1066987/posts

[NicknamedBob]

Home

I’ve never been far South enough to stand,
Where shadows melt in puddles ‘stead of roamin’.
Even when the Sun had journeyed Northward,
It’s noontime high still made of me a gnomon.

Not much of a worldwide traveler am I,
I’ve only traipsed around one continent.
Not that I haven’t had the wanderlust,
I think it’s safe to blame time management.

Too often I found places, that felt like home to me.
Where hearts could put down roots,
And in the sun, and wind, and rain,
My branches sent out shoots.

So I grew quite attached to them,
And stayed around a while.
And that’s why many a year went by,
While I journeyed not a mile.

I do not worry about it,
My travels come to me.
I get a lot of mileage from,
The spinning skies I see.

Turtles and snails have their homes with them,
Whether moving or lying still.
I have my home resting on my back,
As I lie on a grassy hill.

NicknamedBob . . . . . . May 23, 2005

[al baby]

awesome home page

[DollyCali]

Well, thank you Al.. and thank you for stopping by & visiting with us & our friend Writer33!

[DollyCali]

Thanks Bob, you always seem to have something for any topic!

One day I will find one though... (did you ever have one for the Star Wars?.. can't recall?)