Madonna could get one. Most of the rest of the world falls under the following unfortunate truth:
Posted on 12/22/2005 8:37:43 AM PST by Sonny M
DEAR ABBY: Several of my friends and I were bemoaning our status as single women in our late 20s/early 30s, and discussing an article we had read in The New York Times about how smart women are less likely to get married. We'd all like to find Mr. Wonderful and be married. But if we have to curtail our professional success, financial wherewithal and IQ to do it, how can a person even begin to do such a thing?
I have a feeling you'll say to be ourselves and it will all work out, but thus far it has NOT worked out, and we're starting to worry. Personally, I think we'd be better off to take jobs as "administrators" in a large company somewhere and hope for the best.
Help, Abby! What's the answer for smart, fun women who have their acts together? How can we best poise ourselves to find true love while being true to ourselves? -- LOSING FAITH IN FINDING MR. RIGHT
DEAR LOSING FAITH: The truth is, there are no guarantees that ANYONE (male or female) will land a mate. It isn't easy these days because people are commitment-phobic. And this applies to individuals at all economic and educational levels, not just you at the top. Pairing off is often a matter of luck and timing -- being in the right place at the right time.
Eligible members of both sexes can be found in places of common interest -- places that are intellectually rewarding, culturally stimulating, athletically challenging or financially advantageous. As to whether you should downgrade your job level in order to appear less "threatening," I guarantee that if you don't take financial care of yourselves while you can, you will regret it later. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, you could fool some of the bachelors some of the time, but you couldn't fool all of them all of the time.
There are worse things than not finding Prince Charming, and one of them is spending your life pretending to be something you're not. So my advice is to stop reading defeatist newspaper and magazine articles. They'll only make you desperate, clingy and depressed -- and none of those traits is attractive to either sex.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently had a baby. We chose a mature, Christian couple to be our child's godparents. However, my brother-in-law is infuriated over the fact that he's not the godparent. He has disowned my husband and wants nothing to do with us. Behavior such as this in the past is part of the reason he wasn't chosen. However, I need to know this: Did we have an obligation to choose him as a godparent? How should we handle his immaturity and controlling behavior? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN OHIO
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: A godparent can either be a relative or a close friend, and you were not obligated to choose one over the other. Your brother-in-law may be hurt that he wasn't chosen, but his subsequent behavior has been so childish that it's apparent you made the right decision. The way to handle his immature and controlling behavior is to forgive him for it, and go on with your lives.
CONFIDENTIAL TO EDWARD PHILLIPS IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy Birthday, baby brother! I hope you're enjoying your special day.
Prayer is never a cop out. We can't get anything done without it.
I need to leave now.
I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.
Merry Christmas everyone!
I can say that I looked for very ambitious men. I wanted to marry someone that was going to be able to provide a home and be able to make it possible for me to stay home with the kids. These days, that needs to be a very ambitious man. I'm just glad that I met my husband, and he had the same goals as I did. He wanted his kids to have a stay-at-home mom.
I think my fellow engineers were the least intimidated of the guys that I knew. We all had something in common.
Guys that were not good with math or computers were readily intimidated by my job title. Also guys that typically made less than engineers. Even accountants were intimidated because a lot of them weren't good with computers. It was like as soon as I said I was good at math and liked science, they got scared.
The engineer men always gave me a chance! In fact, I broke a few engineers hearts. However, they were great guys. They appreciated the fact that I was good at math and science, but still liked to cook and liked children. By the way, I married a fellow engineer!
I wasn't chosen as a God parent for my niece or nephew. I'm not Catholic, and my sister-in-law is. The only thing that hurt me is that I was never invited to their baptism or confirmation.
But you have multiplied, you have a daughter. I think it would be very hard for a single woman who has never been married to marry a widow with a child.
I think it would be much easier for another widower to marry you.
There is a deep sadness in a widower, and I don't think too many single women would want that.
I speak of this with some knowledge. My brother died last year, and left his beautiful wife. She will never completely get over my brother, and she will always love him. I don't think any man can replace my brother for her. I just hope that she finds a good man to keep her company in the coming years.
If you live in the San Jose area, I know of a great guy that is a diamond in the rough. Not many young women have paid attention to him, and that is a shame. He's also very shy. He's one of my husband's best friends.
No. I was just kidding. I was 35 when I first got married. Some of my buddies kidded around with me about it. I've been married 20 years now.
Y'all seemed pretty upset to ME!
Y'ALL
SEEEEEMED
PRETTY
UPSET
TO
MEEEEEEEEE!
:-D
Well, THAT was short-lived.
;-)
My oldest daughter is 17. When she decides to marry, the main thing I'll care about is whether the prospective husband can support her and their kids well, and that he's of good enough character that he'll stick around to do so
When I was single, I spent a significant amount of time looking for a woman that did not demean me or treat me badly. I did not get married until I was 31. During my search, I was insulted by numerous women that did nothing but demean men and other women who dared to love a man. The "fish and bicycle" crowd kept me single. My idea was a partner and someone that could rely upon when things got bad. I did finally find someone, but it took 13 or so years to find her.
I'm sure that there's many a female executive who is not considering that a middle-aged plumber might be her soul mate. The assumption is that there is one person in the world who is your "soul mate", who you must search for possibly forever.
John O chooses to limit his search for soul mates to the set of women who can deliver what he wants from a prospective wife, and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I know women who won't even talk to a man unless he's a tall, athletic professional with a full head of hair, so they won't ever know if somebody who was slightly outside their "no-go" criteria might have been "soul-mate" material. Generally they grow old and bitter over not having found anybody who matched their criteria, and was also interested in THEM
Madonna could get one. Most of the rest of the world falls under the following unfortunate truth:
>>I could tell stories of how gorgeous urban white women have flirted with me and tried to use an assumed mutual hatred of George Bush and his voters..I will lure them in......and then they get the tree branch sawed out from under themselves. <<
I wish you could videotape these encounters. I would watch them time and time again, with satisfaction. Then I would watch them again. Bravo.
The good type of "smart" is not measured by IQ.
I gather from this you mean she is a lesbian? It fits...
she's not a lesbian. Its much, much worse.
Its got everything to do with a unrealistic expectation list a mile long of what a man is supposed to be, a "I have to date/marry upward no matter how successful I am" mindset, always blames men for all her problems and unhappiness, and lives in a constant state of self-created victimhood.
ed,
I've see Dowd on Imus in the morning show and thought she was a comedic version of Veronica Lake.
The more I read of vitriolic garbage demeaning men- me thinks she was jilted at the altar--by a man?? :-)
The more she talks the more she hurts Frau Clintons chances.
Well I must be the first one, cuz I'm sure not the second.
Then again, I'm not quite 30 yet...but close enough that I don't think I'll be married by then! But, ya never know.
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