Posted on 12/22/2005 8:37:43 AM PST by Sonny M
DEAR ABBY: Several of my friends and I were bemoaning our status as single women in our late 20s/early 30s, and discussing an article we had read in The New York Times about how smart women are less likely to get married. We'd all like to find Mr. Wonderful and be married. But if we have to curtail our professional success, financial wherewithal and IQ to do it, how can a person even begin to do such a thing?
I have a feeling you'll say to be ourselves and it will all work out, but thus far it has NOT worked out, and we're starting to worry. Personally, I think we'd be better off to take jobs as "administrators" in a large company somewhere and hope for the best.
Help, Abby! What's the answer for smart, fun women who have their acts together? How can we best poise ourselves to find true love while being true to ourselves? -- LOSING FAITH IN FINDING MR. RIGHT
DEAR LOSING FAITH: The truth is, there are no guarantees that ANYONE (male or female) will land a mate. It isn't easy these days because people are commitment-phobic. And this applies to individuals at all economic and educational levels, not just you at the top. Pairing off is often a matter of luck and timing -- being in the right place at the right time.
Eligible members of both sexes can be found in places of common interest -- places that are intellectually rewarding, culturally stimulating, athletically challenging or financially advantageous. As to whether you should downgrade your job level in order to appear less "threatening," I guarantee that if you don't take financial care of yourselves while you can, you will regret it later. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, you could fool some of the bachelors some of the time, but you couldn't fool all of them all of the time.
There are worse things than not finding Prince Charming, and one of them is spending your life pretending to be something you're not. So my advice is to stop reading defeatist newspaper and magazine articles. They'll only make you desperate, clingy and depressed -- and none of those traits is attractive to either sex.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently had a baby. We chose a mature, Christian couple to be our child's godparents. However, my brother-in-law is infuriated over the fact that he's not the godparent. He has disowned my husband and wants nothing to do with us. Behavior such as this in the past is part of the reason he wasn't chosen. However, I need to know this: Did we have an obligation to choose him as a godparent? How should we handle his immaturity and controlling behavior? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN OHIO
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: A godparent can either be a relative or a close friend, and you were not obligated to choose one over the other. Your brother-in-law may be hurt that he wasn't chosen, but his subsequent behavior has been so childish that it's apparent you made the right decision. The way to handle his immature and controlling behavior is to forgive him for it, and go on with your lives.
CONFIDENTIAL TO EDWARD PHILLIPS IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy Birthday, baby brother! I hope you're enjoying your special day.
FWIT, Ms. Dowd was on TV last night plugging her book referring to her belief that women who are intelligent are not able to get married because men are intimidated.
Who started the rumor that Ms.Dowdo was smart?
PING!!
Well, she does still give good advice after all these years :~D
This "intelligent quotient" is apparently a popular phrase among liberals whose arrogance is beyond nauseating.
Gee, if she relates to Dowd as a smart and fun person she lives in a strange universe.
She might try starting with some humility.
Men chase women until women decide to let them catch them.
Maybe they are not as smart as they think?
If they were that smart, isn't that of value at home working as a team with the husband to build a better society?
It is no harder for a highly educated woman to find a husband than any other woman, as long as she doesn't hold it over his head constantly and implicitly berate him about his "stupidity." Men want to be respected just as much as women.
If these "smart" women truly were smart, then they would realize that they are the sole common denominator of all of their experiences. The problem likely lies with their attitudes.
This somewhat fits what my Grandfather told me when I was approaching puberty. "Any man that is not married by 30 is either of superior intelligence or queer."
You're doomed. Enter a convent.
What she is overlooking is her own odious personality, which is evident in every column she writes.
"Who started the rumor that Ms.Dowdo was smart?"
She did.
Who else would?
The solution is simple - don't be afraid to be a woman and don't be afraid of letting your mate be a man. Most men are not turned on by stupid women; those are the ones that end up being playthings for the metrosexual "men". It would be hell to be saddled with a stupid, but compliant woman.
But personally, I find intelligent wome extremely attractive. (Also, studies have shown that intelligent women have sex more often and enjoy it more. WOOHOOO! :^)
Remember all...
Never shop for a mate like you're shopping for a refrigerator. Like there is this spot in the kitchen where one is supposed to go....so off you go to shop.
You're life isn't the same way. That spot that has to be filled may be just in your imagination.
I have a 24 year old son who would love to find a smart conservative woman. Unfortunately, all he can find are liberals who think they're smart but aren't, don't know how to dress or act and drink too much. He's got a few more years before thinking about marrying so I'm hoping some of them will grow up by then.
I believe it is in Psalms where David points out that nobody is actually as smart as an true idiot ("mocker") thinks he is smart.
no pictures? there are rules to the mention of MODO
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