SMART SINGLE WOMEN DESPAIR OF EVER FINDING TRUE LOVE (Dear Abby, reference to Maureen Dowd)

www.uexpress.com ^ | December 22, 2005 | Abigail Van Buren

[Mr. Jeeves]

How can we best poise ourselves to find true love while being true to ourselves?

If you are true to yourself, it's easy. If you are true to an alternate sense of self created by twenty-plus years of counter-instinctual feminist programming you've unconsciously absorbed from public schools and television, then it's really, really hard.

[Proud_USA_Republican]

There is a reason Dowd can't get laid and it has nothing to do with her IQ.

[RonF]

I wonder what these ladies' definition of "Mr. Wonderful" is.

[dakine]

See post 11...

[Tax-chick]

So my advice is to stop reading defeatist newspaper and magazine articles. They'll only make you desperate, clingy and depressed -- and none of those traits is attractive to either sex.

Very good response!

[blackie]

Those are the breaks ~ Bump!

[thoughtomator]

Self-proclaimed intelligence is the last refuge of the bitter harpy.

[Sax]

I'm expecting a lot of these posts on this thread:

The desparate unmarried type: "It's the other sexes fault."

The happily married type: "My marriage is so fabulously great, you should be more like me!"

[HEY4QDEMS]

Who started the rumor that Ms.Dowdo was smart?

Actually, I think she's very smart and very attractive.

I don't agree with her politics or social views but that doesn't make me smarter than her.

I've heard that Liz Hurley is a flaming lib....nuff said.

[atomicpossum]

I wonder what these ladies' definition of "Mr. Wonderful" is.

My nickname has been 'Mr. Wonderful" for almost 20 years. It disturbs me to think all these people are looking for me.

[Billthedrill]

Bingo. If you're more focused on what you want and not what your prospective mate wants the relationship is probably not going to work out anyway. "Men are crap but I demand the perfect one" isn't a reasonable approach.

It is a comforting rationalization that men aren't attracted to "smart" women because they're intimidated. The illusion is twofold in Dowd's case - first, that she's intimidating, and second, that she's smart.

[Proud_USA_Republican]

humility is kryptonite to the "keep their cake and eat it too" mindset.

[XJarhead]

Too many so-called intelligent women have chips on their shoulder, and view relationships as a constant battle to assert their equality. It's not that guys are intimidated. It's just that we don't view relationships as a contest. With a harridan like Dowd, you can just imagine how she analyzes every little interaction for whether or not it shows her proper respect, blah blah blah.

On the other hand, there are other intelligent women without that attitude who are great. I've dated both types, and the smart ones without the attitude are wonderful.

[eleni121]

Who started the rumor that Ms.Dowdo was smart?
>....................................

They are arrogant as well...what self respecting nice guy would want to marry an airhead like that?

[GBA]

"I wonder what these ladies' definition of "Mr. Wonderful" is."

Exactly.

[r9etb]

Hmmmmm....

I know a whole lot of really smart women who are happily married. I also know a fair number of really smart women who have trouble with relationships. Obviously, then, "being smart" is not the determining factor here.

Rather, the key is something far less mysterious: the smart women who have trouble finding relationships are those who are unwilling to surrender themselves to a relationship in the first place.

Some of these women are too "me first" to surrender in the first place. Others are desparate, which causes them to choose poorly, which makes them more desparate and gunshy, and it just gets worse.

And others are simply afraid -- they're so worried about failed relationships that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. (This seems to be common among women who've grown up in broken homes.)

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

More men are looking overseas for love, IMO.

[beandog]

I'll be sure to tell him that. I'm pretty sure he already thinks he's of "superior intelligence". LOL

[Sopater]

What? Is my exceptional IQ tatooed to my face or something?

[calex59]

Well, I am an intelligent man and I LIKE intelligent women and don't want a stupid one. There are plenty of reasons why men won't hook up with certain women. If a woman can't get a man, it probably isn't her IQ that is turning the men off.