Posted on 11/23/2005 5:09:29 AM PST by csvset
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Article Last Updated: 11/23/2005 03:14 AM | |
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Push envy of Iron Crotch aside as you contemplate phallic feat | |
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Bay Area grandmaster of Qigong pulls truck with penis |
By Grace Rauh, STAFF WRITER Inside Bay Area |
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FREMONT The ancient Greeks worshipped it. Freud said women envy it. And Tuesday, a man pulled a truck with it. Yes, you read that right. He pulled a truck with his penis. Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his "Iron Crotch," attached himself not once but twice to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashedhimself to the vehicle. He groaned, grunted and pressed against two men for resistance.
Then, slowly, the truck began to roll forward. About 20 people, most of whom study Qigong, the ancient Chinese art of movement and breathing to increase energy, gathered for the truck pull in an unassuming office park just off Interstate 880. A documentary film director and producer from London were on hand to shoot the jaw-dropping feat for a three-part series called "Penis Envy," scheduled to air next year on Channel 4 in the United Kingdom. Footage from the truck pull will be used for the series' piece on building the perfect penis. "He's very special. Powerful. Superman," said an awe-struck Shawnee Wang, who studies Qigong with Jin-Sheng at his gym in Cupertino. "I just came here to watch my master perform." Jin-Sheng, the grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a branch of Qigong also known as 99 Qigong, is said to have 60,000 followers worldwide. Qigong practitioners are known to lift hundreds of pounds with their genitals to increase energy and sexual performance. One of Jin-Sheng's most famous students, a 70-year-old man in Taiwan, is said to have lifted more than 660 pounds with his penis. The grandmaster teaches Iron Crotch and Qigong in Fremont and Cupertino. Jin-Sheng's performance Tuesday drew a hearty applause (and only a few gasps) from the sparse crowd. He wrapped a piece of fabric around his waist to conceal his genitals, but in the heat of the second truck pull, when he tied the cloth around his testicles only, it was pushed aside to reveal a ball of flesh that looked ready to burst. Jin-Sheng wiped the sweat from his brow after the show and said through an interpreter that he felt comfortable and warm. When asked if he was in any pain, he laughed. "If it's painful," he said, "then you will see it bleed."
His wife, Sandy, snapped photos while her husband warmed up and then pulled the truck. The couple originally is from Taiwan and has lived in San Jose since 2003. So is Sandy the envy of her friends? "Yes," she said, flashing a wide smile. "Of course." Jin-Sheng was featured in the April edition of Penthouse magazine, in a story titled "Facts and Phalluses of America's Favorite Organ." In November 2003, he and his penis made the Weekly World News. "He believes that the sexual organs are a source of great power," said Gene Ching, associate publisher of the Fremont-based Kung Fu Magazine, which claims to have introduced Jin-Sheng to the United States and featured him on its March/April 2003 cover. "So it's sort of a vitality exercise." Ching, who does not study Iron Crotch, has heard that it does help in the bedroom. "I imagine that if you can tow a truck, that is going to give you some skills," he said. The grandmaster said the most challenging object he ever has pulled was a 60-foot truck and that was with another man. These days, however, he is looking to up the ante. Jin-Sheng hopes to strap a dozen of his top students to a 747 for the biggest penis pull of all time. All he needs is an airplane. "What can you say?" said Krishna Govender, the documentary film director who came from London specifically to meet Jin-Sheng and watch him work. "The strength of this guy it's phenomenal." Govender has seen and heard many things during the making of the documentary. He flew to Russia to meet a doctor who grew a penis on a man's arm and later grafted it to his genitals. He interviewed countless men about their most private, and treasured, possession. But he never had seen a man pull a truck with one.
"The most fraught relationship is that between man and his penis," he said. "It's the most enduring one, as well."
For more information about Jin-Sheng and Iron Crotch, go to http://www.99qigong.com. |
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PLEASE
MAKE
IT
STOP
TOO
MANY
JOKES
I gotta check in on this thread later........I can see this one goiing on and on and on.
Oh my gawd, he's pulled his d!&k off.
Not tonight honey, I've got a headache.
This fella should be the patron saint of the Industrial Strength Humor Ping-list.
No.
Well, a girl has to have standards...
My favorite line from "Real Genius"
Why didn't he just join the American Automobile Association and get the towing service?
... something for the party tomorrow...
#23
This is how my work day started when I had my first female manager at IBM.
Master Tu has another extraordinary stunt in the works. He is in the process of getting clearance from the Taiwanese government to borrow a 747 jet airplane. Tu figures 20 to 24 of his top students, by strapping their penises, 6 to 8 men per wheel, can generate combined penis pulling power to move the 18,000-kilogram (39,780 lbs!) 747. That's over a ton and a half per penis.
It promises to be an attention-getting event if they can pull it off - or rather pull it forward.
Penis qigong creates a lot of raised eyebrows, both in and out of the martial arts. Generally, the penis is not a suitable topic for polite society. Some find it awkward or embarrassing just to say the word "penis." Others quickly descend into fraternity house bawdiness and bathroom-wall vulgarity. But the warrior's way can be extreme, and eventually this subject comes up in everyone's martial research. The wise warrior discards any lascivious thoughts and carefully examines this without prejudice. Despite the suggestiveness of penis qigong, herein lies some powerful and inspirational kungfu. Again, we discover that dedicated masters can achieve the unbelievable through the discipline, commitment and practice, reaffirming the limitless nature of our venerated art of kungfu.
There was a "study" released in 2003 which purported to measure average penis size among various ethnicities. Indian, Japanese and Chinese men were 1, 2, 3 smallest, according to the study. I cannot vouch for the veracity of this data. But it was rather amusing.
You're giving Mr. Fierro a stroke.
OK, now that definitely didn't sound right.
One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.
I've set up a little shrine.
If Bush and Halliburton keep raising gas prices, we'll all be required to do this.
/DU rant off
"Rue the day? Who says that?"
Yes, that's all true, but after his request for a raise was turned down, The Penis sued his boss for creating a hostile working environment. He won.
Yep, it turns out the poor Penis was forced to work all day in the same office with two nuts and a complete a$$hole.
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